Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008

So long, old year! I didn't like you much at all!! :) As a matter of fact, you may have been my worst year! I hope and pray 2009 is kinder!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Storm is over...

That downpour of men has turned to a drizzle. Oh, they are all still hanging around, but they aren't as anxious to see as they were last week.

I still haven't caught up with Hot Stuff again. He seems to be a last minute guy. You know, the guy that calls you up the moment he wants to see you, instead of making plans ahead of time. So he keeps calling, and I keep having other plans!

I went out with KH again on Saturday. We had a good time. It wasn't as comfortable as the first date, for some reason. I'm not sure why. I do know he hogs the seat in the movie theater. He couldn't even share the damn arm rest, and I felt like he took up half my seat along with his own. I'm getting the sense that he isn't as nice as he seemed to be at first. Last week, he was constantly calling and sending texts, telling me how excited he was about me and how he was digging me. This week, not so much! I have spoken to him, but he isn't as sensitive and nice as he was at first. I'm in the process of moving, hence I've been packing for days. When I told him how tired and busy I am, he said, "Well, you chose to move." He has been whining because I don't have a lot of time to hang out, but yet, he hasn't offered to help me out either! If I had a little help, I'd have a little more time! LOL

I met up with City Boy for dinner and a movie on Sunday. Our original plans were for Friday, but it didn't work out. We had a pretty good time. His pics online don't do him justice....much nicer looking in person! Although, he isn't the brightest crayon in the box! He even told me that I'm smarter than he is! WTF?? Anyway, he leaves town tomorrow, so we may meet for a drink later tonight.

FWB called again Sunday, while I was out with City Boy. I didn't return his phone call until today (2 days later!). Of course, he didn't answer.

I'm supposed to hang with KH on New Year's Eve, but I'm not sure how I'm feeling about that right now. I was going to take him to the young coworker's party, but my gay boyfriend is also having a get together. Maybe it's the stress of the move and all...

Sexy Songs of the Week

Since it's the end of the year, I'm giving ya another two-fer! And this week is all about the ladies!



Any Time, Any Place by Janet, Miss Jackson if ya nasty!

In the thundering rain
you stare into my eyes
I can feel your hand moving up my thighs
skirt around my waist
wall against my face
I can feel your lips

I dont wanna stop just because
people walkin'by watchin'us
I dont give a damn what they think
I want you now
I dont wanna stop just because
you feel so good inside of my love
I'm not gonna stop no no no
I want you all I wanna say is

Anytime,anyplace I don't care who's around
anytime,and any place I don't care who's around

Dancing on the floor
feelin' the slow groove
my mind is starting to burn
with forbidden thoughts
strangers all around
with the lights down low
I was thinking maybe we could...well you know

chorus




Oops (Oh My!) by Tweet and Missy Elliott

Tell you what I did last night
I came home, say, around a quarter to three
Still so high
Hypnotized
In a trance
>From the start it, so butter and brown and tantalizing
You woulda thought I needed help from this feeling that I felt
So shook I had to catch my breath

Oops, there goes my shirt up over my head
Oh my
OOPS, there goes my skirt droppin' to my feet
Oh my
Ooh, some kinda touch caressing my legs
Oh my
Ooh I'm turning red
Who could this be?

I tried and I tried to avoid
but this thing was happening
Swallow my pride
Let it ride and party
But this body felt just like mines
I got worried
I looked over to the left
A reflection of myself
That's why I couldn't catch my breath

OOPS, there goes my shirt up over my head
Oh my
OOPS, there goes my skirt droppin' to my feet
Oh my
Ooh, some kinda touch caressing my legs
Oh my
Ooh I'm turning red
Who could this be?

OOPS, there goes my shirt up over my head
Oh my
OOPS, there goes my skirt droppin' to my feet
Oh my
Ooh, some kinda touch caressing my legs
Oh my

Missy:
(I looked over to the left)
Umm I was looking so good I couldn't reject myself
(I looked over to the left)
Umm I was feeling so good I had to touch myself
(I looked over to the left)
Umm I was eyein my thighs butter pecan brown
(I looked over to the left)
Umm comin' outta my shirt and then the skirt came down

OOPS, there goes my shirt up over my head
Oh my
OOPS, there goes my skirt droppin' to my feet
Oh my
Ooh, some kinda touch caressing my legs
Oh my
Ooh I'm turning red
Who could this be?

OOPS, there goes my shirt up over my head
Oh my
OOPS, there goes my skirt droppin' to my feet
Oh my
Ooh, some kinda touch caressing my legs
Oh my
Ooh I'm turning red
Who could this be?

OOPS, there goes my shirt up over my head
Oh my
OOPS, there goes my skirt droppin' to my feet
Oh my
Ooh, some kinda touch caressing my legs
Oh my
Ooh I'm turning red
Who could this be?

Ooh My

Thursday, December 25, 2008

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!


Try to keep up! It's Christmas, and it I've been given the gift of men! Suddenly, they are pouring out of the sky...from no where. Well, they did come from SOMEWHERE, but now they ALL want to spend time with me!

I was driving to visit my family when the texts started rolling in! Hot Stuff was the first to hit me up. He wanted to get together on Christmas night, but unfortunately, I wasn't going to be back in town by then. Hot Stuff will be going out of town to visit family next week, so that isn't going to pan out too soon.

Then City Boy, a guy I met on an online dating site, hit me up to remind me that he had arrived in my city. He comes to my city for holidays, as he has family here. He and I have chatted occasionally for the last year or so, but we have never been able to coordinate our schedules when he comes to town. Since he comes during major holidays, I am usually out of town myself. Now that we are both in the same city at the same time, we have made plans for Friday night! I'm not really sure what we will do yet, but I hope he is as sexy as his pictures suggest!

KH had already asked me out for Saturday night. He has left the activity choice up to me. Any suggestions??? I would like to do something different from your run-of-the-mill movies and dinner date.

And then tonight, while driving back from my family gathering, I received a text from FWB. And well, you know the story there. Of course, he wanted to get together and asked me if I was in town. Of course, I lied and said no. Technically, I wasn't....yet. I still had an hour or so left driving.

And finally, also during my drive home, I received a text from Ex-Coworker telling me he misses me and wants to see me soon. He and I have spoken randomly since his visit back in March, but I'm not really sure what his angle is. *sigh* So lately, he has told me he would like to try again, and he wants to come visit me. He tried to work it out during the holidays. Our schedules didn't jive though. Whatever. Men...pfft.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Another One!

So the Sexy Song of the Week video didn't have enough SHIRTLESS LL Cool J, so here is a little bonus video for your eyes' pleasure!

Sexy Song of the Week!

LL Cool J....need I say more?? Lawdamercy!



LL Cool J- Doin It

Mmmm yeah (mmmmm) check it out baby
Make it hot... then we drop it
(oooooooh!) Uh, yeah
(oooooooh!) Uptown, you
know how we do it
Yeah you know
Make it hot

[Verse One:]

[LL Cool J]
It's the first time
together and I'm feeling
kinda horny
Conventional methods of
makin love kinda bore me
I wanna knock your block
off, get my rocks off
Blow your socks off make
sure your G spots soft
[LeShaun]
I'm gonna call you Big Daddy
and scream your name
Matter fact I can't wait
for your candy rain
[LL Cool J]
So what cha sayin, I get my
swerve on, bring it live
Make it last forever, damn
the kitty cat's tight
[LeShaun]
Mmm... daddy slow down your flow
Put it on me like G baby nice and slow
I need a rough neck nigga
Mandingo in a sec
Who ain't afraid to pull
my hair and spank me from
the back
[LL Cool J]
No doubt, I'm the playa that
you're talkin about
[LeShaun]
But do you really think that
you can work it out
[LL Cool J]
I guarantee shorty it's
real, baby stick it out
Here comes the man of steel

[Chorus: LeShaun, LL Cool J]

[LeShaun] Doin it and doin it
and doin it well [3X]
[LL Cool J] I respresent
Queens, she was raised out
in Brooklyn

[repeat 2x]

[Verse Two:]

[LL Cool J]
I'm in the mix now,
searching for the right spot
To hit now, get down
[LeShaun]
Damn my lover dig down,
you use a rubber?
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/fTD ]
[LL Cool J]
Damn right
[LeShaun]
You are my lover
[LL Cool J]
All night
[LeShaun]
The putty good to you? Word to momma
[LL Cool J]
Man tight
The only thing left to do is climax
Let's make it last
[LeShaun]
Word we ain't goin out like that
All this time you've been
telling that you was a Don
[LL Cool J]
I tried to warn you girl
you wouldn't listen
Now let's get it on
[LeShaun]
Mmm, baby wild, don't do that
Chill wait a minute baby let
me please you back
[LL Cool J]
You talk a good one shorty now
you're makin me sweat
How a live nigga like it girl?
[LeShaun]
Nice and wet
We get it To The Break of
Dawn, damn you're large
How a big girl like it Daddy?
[LL Cool J]
Nice and hard
Safe sexin it, flexin it,
gettin that affectionate
Chewin it, oohin it, all
while we're doin it

[Chorus (repeat 2X)]

[Verse Three:]

[LL Cool J]
Baby, I wanna hit it in the worst way
[LeShaun]
Make it hot
[LL Cool J]
Schemin on the ass since the first day
[LeShaun]
Don't stop
Damn I love it when you talk like that
Make it bounce sugar
[LL Cool J]
Long as you can bounce me back
More flesh than the Greek Fest
[LeShaun]
Roll up the sess
[LL Cool J]
Pass the Hennessee
[LeShaun]
Put my body to the test
Wait wait daddy many niggaz ago
I was a young girl
listening to how you flow
Now's my chance to hit you
off daddy I'm grown
From the back, from the side
[LL Cool J]
Right, I'm in the zone
One of a kind when it's time to do mine
Camcorder and the whole shit
[LeShaun]
Press rewind
Let it flow on the screen
while we puffs the L
Layin back in the cut while
we're under the spell
[LL Cool J]
Word life, I like the way
the ep went down
Go to sleep, tomorrow I'll
take you back downtown
We'll be

[Chorus (repeat 3X)]

Pretty Boy and Hot Stuff


A few weeks ago, a strange man in my area added me as a friend on MySpace. Now, I don't usually use MySpace as a dating device. It's really just for fun and to keep up with friends I can't see regularly. But this guy was cute...real fuckin' cute. That's one friend request I couldn't refuse. So we messaged one another a few times, only to learn that he lives extremely close to me. One day, after work, we decided to meet up at the local bookstore/coffee shop. And maaaaaan, he was even hotter in person than he was on MySpace. So we will call him Hot Stuff. He has a great sense of humor and good conversation. He helped me pick out my next couple of reads, while we chatted and drank coffee. The date with Hot Stuff lasted a couple hours. It was one of those nice, easy, and relaxed dates. When he walked me to my car, he said "Good night, little buddy!" as he hugged me. Umm....LITTLE BUDDY??? I just laughed it off and said, "Nice meeting you, big buddy!" He texted me an hour or so later and continued to do so for a couple hours. It was nice. He told me that he thought I was attractive, but that he isn't looking for anything serious. I just told him I was cool with being friends. Whatever happens happens. About two days later, I received a text from him that said, "So when can I come eat your pussy?" I have to admit it made me laugh!!

A few days after I went out with Hot Stuff, I met up with Pretty Boy for Mexican food at a hot restaurant in a hot area of the city. Pretty Boy is just that...pretty! He is a nice guy, but he has very little to say. I enjoyed the date. Again, it was relaxed, fun, and casual. Not too sure if I am anxious to do it again though. Pretty Boy is still calling, and Hot Stuff is still texting, but don't think I'll see either or make any decisions until after the new year. If nothing else, they can be sources of fun for me! ;-)

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I had a good date!

I met KH on a dating website just yesterday. Since I was spending a nice, relaxing evening at home, I was online quite a bit. He and I messaged back and forth throughout the evening. Finally, before we both turned in, we exchanged numbers. He called me this morning just before I was heading out to run errands for the day. It just so happened that my errands took me to his part of the city. Soooo....

We met up, and he actually ran around with me and then we went for a late lunch/early dinner. The conversation was easy and non-stop. He is an attractive, professional man who is somewhat new to the area. A great time was had by all. It ended with a little kiss goodbye. He has already asked when he will see me again! Kinda makes a girl feel good after the onslaught of shitty dates! I still owe you guys some stories too! The holidays have me running crazy though!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Hump Day is around the corner!

Yeah, tomorrow is another Hump Day! So here is the song of the week. Okay, some of you may not think it's so sexy, but it makes me all kinds of horny! :) I really am not sure what that says about my mental well-being though. The video is disturbing, but it's full of literary devices that I would pull out if I was feeling a little more geeky!



Closer by Nine Inch Nails

You let me violate you.
You let me desecrate you.
You let me penetrate you.
You let me complicate you.

Help me; I broke apart my insides.
Help me; I've got no soul to sell.
Help me; the only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself.

I want to fuck you like an animal!
I want to feel you from the inside!
I want to fuck you like an animal!
My whole existence is flawed.
You get me closer to God.

You can have my isolation.
You can have the hate that it brings.
You can have my absence of faith.
You can have my everything.

Help me; tear down my reason.
Help me; it's your sex I can smell.
Help me; you make me perfect.
Help me become somebody else.

I want to fuck you like an animal!
I want to feel you from the inside!
I want to fuck you like an animal!
My whole existence is flawed.
You get me closer to God.

Through every forest, above the trees.
Within my stomach, scraped off my knees.
I drink the honey inside your hive.
You are the reason I stay alive.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

No Girlfriend??

The young coworker and I were talking at work earlier this week, and he told me that he is having another gathering at his home this weekend. One of his friends is graduating from grad school, and they want to celebrate. He asked me to attend. He then said, "And the best part is, (insert girlfriend's name here) is going out with some of her friends, so she won't be there." Um....ok... I responded with, "So you are asking me to come and hang out with the guys?" He said, "Yep, pretty much!" Um...ok again. I then began asking him if he had invited some of our other coworkers, because he usually does. He said he didn't think they would come, so he isn't going to ask them. Hmmm....I'm not really sure what to think of this situation. The invitation is for tonight, and I'm not real sure if I want to go. He asked me again yesterday at work. I told him that I was still undecided. What do you all think?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Sexy Song of the Week!!

Here it is...Happy Hump Day!!



Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.

I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart)
I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you. With you. (This world is only gonna break your heart)

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,

I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart)
I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.
I never dreamed that I'd loose somebody like you no,

I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart)
I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you. With you. (This world is only gonna break your heart)
Nobody loves no one.

The Meeting

Okay, here is the long-awaited story of the meeting with the LD Man.

I drove 9, yes NINE, hours to get to him. I checked into a hotel, because we both agreed that I would feel more comfortable staying there the first night. I freshened up and then called him. He came right over. As soon as we saw one another we hugged so tightly I could hardly breathe.

He decided he would take me out to dinner and then show me around his city. We ate at this cute little German restaurant. Although the food wasn't so good, the atmosphere and company was. After dinner, we went for a walk around the neighborhood of the restaurant. We just walked and talked. Once I was too cold to walk anymore, we got in his truck and rode around the city, while he showed me all his favorite places. Then he took me to his favorite book store, where we shared novels we had read and wanted to read.

So I spent a good 3-4 hours with LD Man before he took me back to my hotel room. Toward the end of the night, we got more and more quiet. I knew we were both exhausted, so I figured that was why.

We hugged again at the hotel. He told me to call him when I woke and we would go for breakfast and hang out some before his meeting at 11:00.* I would find something to do while he was at his meeting, and then we would get back together for more fun! That was the plan...

I woke around 7:45 and called LD Man. I got his voicemail and left a message. Once I jumped in the shower, the thought "What if he doesn't call back?" entered my mind. He finally returned my call about 30 minutes later. He told me then that he had decided to go into work to pick up something real quick and got stuck there. He would be at my hotel in about 45 minutes or so. An hour went by, and I had to check out of the hotel in a couple hours. He had a meeting in one hour. I didn't know the city at all. I called him, and he again apologized and said he was still stuck. Then he goes on to say, "Did you really think we vibed last night?" I said, "yes." He was shocked and said, "Well, I didn't." Jaw on floor...

He then proceeded to tell me that he thought if we were just casually dating, that would be cool because I'm really sexy and cool and smart...blah blah blah. BUT he is looking for his wife, and we didn't vibe like he should when he's found his wife. HUH??? Then this man had the nerve to ask me to book another night at the hotel, so we could talk about it later. Again....HUH??? He wanted me to spend MY MONEY to stay in a hotel for ANOTHER night so he could tell me again that I am not wife material. HUH???

I packed my shit up and hit the road. I told him I couldn't spend more money to be rejected again. He told me that we would always be friends.

*I knew about this meeting before I went. It was a work thing that he couldn't get out of.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Sexy Song of the Week

Happy Hump Day! I know I haven't done this in a while, but I'm trying to get back in the groove of blogland!



'Til The Cops Come Knockin'
by Maxwell

Didn't you dig the way I rubbed yo back girl
Wasn't it cool when I first kissed yo lips
Was it enough to penetrate you dark world
Or were you embarrassed about the way you freaked
Well I wanna hold you
I wanna know you baby
If it's alright.......

Gonna take you in the room suga'
lock you up and love for days
We gonna be rockin' baby til the cops come knockin'
Papa gonna have to leave a message on the
telephone baby
There won't be no stoppin' me til the cops come knockin'

Six on a Thursday night 'n you be jonesin' baby
For a brother to hold you tight n' keep on going
Last lover came n' went didn't even hug n' kiss n'
caress you
Gimme a call it's cool the M's all open
I'm open wider than oceans
I'll be your lotion
If It's alright....

Please you tease you eat you
Make you feel so good inside
Loving you long if that's alright?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Chemistry? What chemistry?

I finally met LD Man. It didn't go so well. I will write more of an explanation once I know how to.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Guess I have some 'splainin' to do...

A quick little update blog for everyone! I know you've been checking my little spot here, anxiously awaiting my updates with bated breath!

I finally went out with Doc. It wasn't all I'd hoped it would be. He was in my city for a medical convention. I don't know if I mentioned that he lives about an hour and half drive from me. We met up for dinner and drinks the night after Obama became our President-elect (yep...happy dance!). Conversation was still casual and flirty, as usual. Afterward, I followed him back to his fancy hotel that they put him up in just to hang out. As we walked into the lobby, he looked behind us and saw two black women. He then said, "Let me slow down so those black girls don't think I'm with you."* I was like, "WTF???" All I could say back is "Wow." He tried to play it off as a joke, but that shit ain't funny to me. I would never even think to say something like that to someone! So needless to say, the night was ruined, and I left him alone at his hotel after a lull and an attempt at cool conversation. Of course, he hasn't called again.

The young coworker's Halloween party went off without a hitch. A drunken good time was had by all. We stayed up way too late, drank way too much, danced, played Cornhole**, and became rockstars with the help of Nintendo 360 and Rockband! The young coworker and I have recognized our attraction to one another, but we haven't acted on it. We have cooled the texting, but he does still ask me to hang out often. We've only done so once since the party. Oh yeah, and he still has his girlfriend.

KS still sends me the occasional "Good morning" text message a couple times a week. I still respond and never hear back til the next "Good morning." Sigh.

And last but definitely not least, I will finally meet LD Man tomorrow!!! I'm excited, nervous, scared, and in shock right now! I'll let you know how it goes! :)

*Doc is black, I'm not.
**Youtube it if you don't understand, because I really can't explain!

Tag! I'm it!

Both OG and Curvy Gurl have tagged me in the last few days! I just noticed, as I've been MIA from Blogworld lately. Again, I apologize for that! But I'm back now, bitches! :)

So according to the girls, I'm supposed to tell you all seven random things about myself. Here goes...

1. I recently became obsessed with the Twilight saga. And yes, I am aware that I am an adult!
Yes my friends, this is what I've been reading the last couple of weeks during my absence. I bought the first book two weeks ago and just could not put it down! I finally finished the fourth book a couple days ago. Now, I need to go see the movie to determine if it lives up to the books!

2. I cry if I see an animal hurt, live or on television.
Yeah, seeing humans physically hurt on television doesn't bother me, but a hurt animal gets the tears following every time. I especially can't stand to see humans be unnecessarily cruel to animals.

3. I don't remember my father.
My father and mother divorced when I was about four. He didn't keep in contact well, and I have no memory of him. He passed away a couple years ago, and some distant family found me. It was a surreal and sad experience. I regret never contacting him and never getting to know him.

4. I'm a sucker for cheesy holiday movies.
I can watch those silly Christmas movies on Lifetime all day long! :) They give me the warm and fuzzies.

5. I dance around in my underwear after I get out of the shower, while getting ready for my day.
I like to pretend I'm a sexy little sex kitten when no one is watching!

6. Very rarely do I "click" with people, male or female.
I have a quirky sense of sarcastic humor that only some people get and enjoy. Also, I'm not very good at "sugar-coating" things, so people often find me a little too honest. Don't get me wrong...I'm likable and friendly to coworkers and strangers. You just have to be strong and have a wicked sense of humor to really withstand and hang in my circle.

7. As outgoing and friendly as I can be, I'm SUPER shy with men!
I have tried time and again to approach strange men that I would like to meet but can never get up the nerve. Unfortunately, this often leaves me with men I'm not interested in asking me out, while the guys I really want to know haven't a clue how interested I am!

I tag the following:

jo
lisaQ
ecrivain
Roxy

Monday, November 10, 2008

Apologies

I just wanted to apologize for leaving you all hanging with no news. I haven't been in a writing mood lately. I guess that sometimes happens. I've been reading more than writing. I promise some updates before the week's end! Things have been a blur lately, and I've had to step back and reflect again.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Doctor, Doctor!

I know you all want to know about the young coworker's party last night, but I'm going to share some other updates in this post.

Last weekend, I received a phone call from a man I dated for a couple months about a year ago. We have kept in touch since then and even hung out a couple times, but it has been a while since I've seen him. Somehow we ended up talking for 2 or so hours. I don't think we have talked like that since we first met. It was nice and comfortable. We've always gotten along well, but he is definitely a commitment phobe! When things began to head toward Relationshipville, he got scared. He admitted he didn't think he was at a point in his life where he could be in a serious relationship, so we remained friends.

This guy really is a "good on paper" guy though. He is a young, single doctor with the manners of a gentleman. He isn't too good looking, but he is attractive, so he is by no means narcissistic. We always have something to talk about when we hang out and there is never any awkwardness.

So when Doc called, we spent a while catching up. I told him about my new job and eventually about young coworker and his then upcoming party. Doc thought it sounded like fun and agreed to be my date. Unfortunately, he had to tentatively plan to be my date. He was on call this weekend, and sick people just refuse stay well around my party plans. Needless to say, Doc couldn't make it to the party due to a lady and her ventilator. By the way, the lady is fine and stable now. :)

I really wanted Doc to go, as he is fun to go out with, and he would have been a great buffer at young coworker's party. We have made plans to get together later this week though.

On a different note, KS still sends his "Good morning (SaneAndSingle). :)" text messages. I have been receiving them 2-3 times a week. I have responded to him every time with a "Good morning to you too." only to not hear from him again until the next "Good morning.:)" text! Silliness and nonsensical, imo...

Saturday, November 1, 2008

In Over My Head

I know I haven't been around much lately, so I owe everyone an update. The young coworker and I have become very good friends. We have so much in common that people have mistaken our friendship for more at work. It has even caused some drama and gossip. I can't stand gossipy women. If you have nothing better to do besides assume that a man and woman who get along well are fucking, then you need to get a life!!! I'm just sayin'....:).

Maybe he and I do flirt a little, but our personalities are eerily similar and just click. But, uh, need I remind you that he has a damn girlfriend, AND he is ten years younger than I am?! In addition, he really isn't what I usually find physically attractive.

BUT....last weekend, he sent me a text about my favorite football team losing* and a text conversation to beat all text conversations then ensued. Yep, we texted for 12 fuckin' hours!!! Of course, we were both carrying on our individual lives of football watching, movie watching, video game playing, and other assorted activities. He admitted to me that his girlfriend and he weren't getting along so well and that she was pissed at him because he refused to go to one of her friends' parties with her. The young coworker even suggested that I come over to THEIR house and drink with him. I obviously declined, because what would that look like if the girlfriend came home and I'm there drunk??? I said to him, "I'm not trying to get cut by your gf!" He said, "Yeah I was thinking the same thing, especially if she caught us fucking" Um, my jaw dropped! I laughed it off and told him that that wouldn't happen because both of us have morals. To which he said, "LOL"! That's it...then the conversation turned to McCain vs. Obama then to whether Radiohead was a good band then to work, etc.

Sooooo....young coworker and girlfriend are hosting a party tonight. I'm going. How comfortable!

*Yeah, he's an asshole like I am!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Happy Hump Day!

I really do have some blog-worthy material for you guys. I just really haven't had time to actually sit down and form a coherent thought, much less string sentences together to make sense! So enjoy this Hump Day song in the meantime! By the way, as Hump Days come and go, you will probably notice that my musical taste is quite eclectic. Some you will like, others maybe not so much. But it's my blog, damnit! :)

Dave Matthews with the wonderful song Crash Into Me:



Youve got your ball
Youve got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Whos got their claws
In you my friend
Into your heart Ill beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
And sweet you roll
Lost for you Im so lost for you
You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream
Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
Im bare boned and crazy for you
When you come crash
Into me, baby
And I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream
If Ive gone overboard
Then Im begging you
To forgive me
In my haste
When Im holding you so girl
Close to me
Oh and you come crash
Into me, baby
And I come into you
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show your world to me
In a boys dream.. in a boys dream
Oh I watch you there
Through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing but you
Wear it so well
Tied up and twisted
The way Id like to be
For you, for me, come crash
Into me

Saturday, October 25, 2008

What's your dating persona?

OG posted a fun little quiz from OkCupid.com on her blog, so I took the quiz myself. This is what it had to say about me!

The Maid of Honor

Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLM)

The Maid of Honor

Appreciated for your kindness and envied for all your experience, you are The Maid of Honor.

Charismatic, affectionate, and terrific in relationships, you are what many guys would call a "perfect catch"--and you probably have many admirers, each wishing to capture your long-term love. You're careful, extra careful, because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone. Especially some poor boy whose only crime was liking you.

We've deduced you're fully capable of a dirty fling, but you do feel that post-coital attachment after hooking up. So, conscientious person that you are, you do your best to reserve physical affection for those you respect...so you can respect yourself.

Your biggest negative is the byproduct of your careful nature: indecision. You're just as slow rejecting someone as you are accepting them.

Your exact female opposite:

Half-Cocked

Half-Cocked

Random Brutal Sex Dreamer

Always avoid: The False Messiah (DBLM), The 5-Night Stand (DBSM), The Vapor Trail (RBLM), The Bachelor (DGSM)

Consider: The Gentleman (DGLM), someone just like you.

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test | OkCupid - dating services | Dating
My profile name: : nilladancer73


Here's the Dating Persona Test if you'd like to take it for yourself!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Feenin'

So due to my hectic schedule yesterday, I wasn't able to post the sexy song of the week* on Hump Day! So here is a little Jodeci for you! Yeah, the video is cheesy, but the song is a panty-dropper!




*Oh yeah, I've decided to post a sexy song of the week each Hump Day.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ooops...

I spoke too soon in my last post. I received a text this morning that said, "Good morning.:) How's yur day so far?" And no, I DID NOT respond.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Never said I forgave you...


So I'm sure you guys want some updates, or maybe you don't. But I'm giving them to you anyway!

KS hasn't sent anymore texts, nor has he called. Oh well...

The LD Man and I played phone tag all week last week. Our schedules are quite different, so we often have to do strategic phone calling to actually have a conversation. Friday evening he finally caught up with me. His brother is fine. His HumV (sp?) was shot all up, and the soldiers were sent to Germany for medical care. He will be there for a little while to recoup and then be sent back to Iraq. So that's good news.

LD Man was extremely apologetic for how he handled things the weekend he was supposed to visit. He admitted that he should have called me much earlier than what he did. He also said that he still wants to meet me, that he is going to try to be more available to me, and that he thinks we should waste no more time. I was calm. I never once got angry, cried, or yelled. He said all this on his own without any prompting from me. Then he said to me, "Thank you for forgiving me." I replied, "I never said I forgave you." Suddenly Mr. LD Man is much more attentive and making an effort to let me know more about him and his daily life.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Good Morning

There was a boy (ok...man) from a dating website long ago. We have IM'ed occasionally over the last year and a half. We exchanged numbers, but we rarely talked. He popped back up into my virtual life sometime last week. He sent me a couple messages asking me to meet up for dinner or something. I finally agreed to go out with him this past Monday. We went to a professional sporting event, and we had what I thought was a great time.

KS was a gentleman, complete with door opening and seating pulling. He had a quick witty sarcastic sense of humor, and I loved it. We held hands....we laughed....we kissed...we kissed again. He called me to make sure I made it home okay after we parted. He texted me a good morning message and thanked me for finally agreeing to go out with him after a year and a half on Tuesday morning. We exchanged a couple of flirty messages throughout the day. I asked him if he still wanted to meet up this weekend (which we had discussed during our first date). No response...

Wednesday afternoon I received this text from him: "How is ur day?" to which I responded, "Not too bad. How is urs?" He then replied: "Good. Wht time are u done?" I told him I had to work late and then asked about the weekend again. Again...no response.

Thursday morning, yet another text from KS: "Good morning.:)" *Sigh* I can't stand games!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Happy Hump Day!

Since tomorrow is Hump Day, I thought I'd throw a little sexy bone your way!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Spank Me, I've Been Naughty!


After moping around the house and cursing the LD Man and his disappearing act yesterday, a couple friends took me out to dinner so we could eat and drown my sorrows in Jack Daniels. While at the sports bar, my phone rang. Guess who??? Uh huh, the LD Man. I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone, as I had just begun to smile, laugh, and stop worrying about what happened. Like I told my friend, I would rather just not hear from him again, because it makes it easier to let go.

After we finished our meal, we just had to know what he had to say for himself. As I listened to his voicemail, my jaw dropped. According to his message, his brother was shot in Iraq, and he was calling me from his parents' house (which is a couple hours away from where he lives). He apologized and told me that he swears he will make it up to me. I don't know what to think, feel, or say. He tried to call again just as we were leaving the restaurant. I still couldn't bring myself to answer. I had a sexcapade to get to anyway.

Sexcapade you ask??? Well, as any woman would do in a time of crisis, I called my girlfriend earlier that day. During our conversation, she offered up the old cliche, "The best way to get over a man is to get under another one." All it took was one impulsive text message to the FWB and we had a plan for him to meet me back at my place later that night! *hangs head in shame* I'm not longer celibate. Please spank me, I've been a naughty naughty girl. And I liked it!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Poo on a Shoe

Do you know what it feels like to be poo on someone's shoe? Well, I do!*

This weekend was to be the long awaited meeting with the LD Man. The original plan was that he was going to drive into town on Friday night. Due to some work stuff, he had to postpone. We spoke yesterday (Saturday) afternoon, and he said he was going to take a nap and then drive to my town. That would have landed him here sometime in the middle of the night/early morning. His last words during that call were, "I'll call you before I hit the road." It is now Sunday afternoon (approximately 24 hours later), and I've heard nothing, zilch, nada. I have called a couple times, only to get his voicemail.

I really don't understand what happened. Everything was going well. All week long we were making plans for the long weekend. Now, he hasn't shown up or called.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm still single.

*Dr. Seuss is my hero!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Kiss Me on My Neck

Um...yeah...this is what I want.

Erykah Badu immortalized my mood today with these lyrics:

I want somebody to walk up behind me
And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck

Been such a long time
I forgot that I was fine
Just kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck
I want somebody to walk up behind me
And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck

If you want to feel me
Better be divine
Bring me water, water for my mind
Give me nothin
Breathe love in my air
Don't abuse me
Cause these herbs are rare

If you want to feel me
Better be divine
Bring me water, water for my mind
Give me nothin
Breathe love in my air
Don't abuse me
Cause these herbs are rare

If you want too feel me baby
Better be divine
Bring me water for these flowers
Growing out my mind

Give me nothin' just be gentle
Breathe love in my air
Use me, don't abuse me, love me
Cause these herbs are rare


Ho hum...celibacy is a bitch!

Kiss Me On My Neck - Erykah Badu

Monday, October 6, 2008

Stress, Stress, and I Don't Care!

The meds the neurologist prescribed seem to be working! Yay! I'm sleeping better, and the headaches have been fewer! :) The first night I took the med for anxiety, I slept for almost 12 hours! I woke up long enough to call in sick to work, feed the cats, and go potty! I know...TMI. I spent most of the morning in bed, and it felt absolutely wonderful. I guess I was just tired from not sleeping well for so long.

Still no sex...would like sex. The meeting with the LD Man is quickly approaching. I wonder if he can make me break my vow.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

My Resume


LisaQ posted her dating resume a few days ago, and I thought it would be fun make one for myself. I used the same format that she did, as all dating resumes should be uniform. I just plugged in my information! Um...we have a few things in common, Lisa!



Vitals
• Female
• 30-something
• 5’8”
• Curvy and sexy!
• Brownish-blondish hair
• Green eyes
• Caucasian (But an equal opportunity dater)
• Single, never married
• Beautiful smile
• Aquarius
• Social drinker
• Non-smoker
• Location-Durty South
• Lives alone with 2 cats (and no, I’m NOT the crazy cat lady!)

Qualifications
• Lady in the Streets, and Freak in the….well you got the point
• Honest and loyal
• Gainfully employed
• Homeowner
• Wonderful people skills
• Educated and intelligent
• Great sense of humor….I love to laugh!
• Low maintenance

Loves
• Blogging
• Writing
• Football (especially college)
• Movies & music
• Reading
• Sleeping in
• The sound of the ocean at night
• Jack Daniels (longest relationship with a man I’ve ever had!)
• Animals

Experience
I have been dating for almost 20 years now, so I have a lot of experience. I have been engaged twice during that time. During this time, I have learned what I want/need and what I do not want/need.

What I’m Looking For
I’m looking for a man who loves to laugh, even at himself sometimes! I hope to find someone who can be sweet, romantic, and fun all at once. I need a man who can also be a little dominant, as I don’t want to walk all over him. He should be goal oriented and/or established in life.

Physically, I prefer tall and thick men. I like a little something to wrap my arms around! I’m an equal opportunity dater and do not discriminate against race or religion. I prefer men within a ten year radius of my age, so I like them anywhere from mid-20’s to mid-40’s. I tend to prefer them in the 30’s though.

I am extremely sarcastic, and if you can’t hang, chances are I won’t like you too much! I have to be with someone who understands and “gets” me. If he and I can’t make one another laugh, I will get bored easily.

What I’m NOT Looking For
I’m not looking for someone who is emotionally unavailable, married, and/or enjoys playing the games of dating. I don’t care to be with a man who isn’t open and honest about his life and his feelings. I don’t need someone who is intimidated by a strong and intelligent woman. If he doesn’t like football, it won’t work. If he hasn’t read a book since he read Dr. Seuss with his mother, it won’t work. If he puts work before his friends and family, it won’t work. If he treats our relationship and/or emotions like he is conducting a business deal, it won’t work.

Physically, I don’t want a sloppy man. He should be clean and neat, this includes his home. Speaking of homes, he should NOT live with his Momma.

References
RG -Ex fiance
FWB-Ex something; current friend
The Engineer-ex-boyfriend; current friend
Angel and Demon- BFF; SaneAndSingle expert extraordinaire
MsFriendly- Best Friend; SaneAndSingle expert extraordinaire
Amy –Best Friend; SaneAndSingle expert extraordinaire

Interested parties may email SaneAndSingle at SaneAndSingle[at]gmail[dot]com

Monday, September 29, 2008

Dead Tooth


Let me begin this by telling you the MOST attractive physical traits of a man in my book.

1. I like a big man...don't really like them short and thin.
2. I like a nice smile.
3. I love manly hands that are taken care of (but not too much!).

DISLIKES:

1. Smokers
2. Too much cologne (due to allergies)
3. Man sandals (if you don't know, ask your girlfriends....I'm sure one of them does!)

Remember the New Guy? Well, we finally met on Sunday. And let me tell you, he violated all of the above guidelines!

He came to pick me up.* As soon as I opened the door, I noticed how thin he is. Now, thin I can live with; it isn't a deal breaker. Then his scent hit me! Some kind of cheap cologne that I just knew would aggravate my allergies. I told myself to man up and give him a chance. Once in the car, another scent hit me! Yep....stale cigarette smoke...a sure sign that he is a regular smoker. So the combination of cheap cologne and stale smoke was an all out olfactory/sinus assault! I began to feel queasy, and my head began to pound.

We only went a couple miles from my place to have lunch. His hands...oh the hands were rougher than sandpaper...and I don't know about you other ladies out there, but I don't want sandpaper rubbed all over my soft and naked body! As we walked into the restaurant, I spotted the man sandal peeking from under his jeans. Sometime during the conversation at the restaurant, he smiled at me. What?? Did I just see a gold-capped tooth?? Ugh... So just to be sure, I crack some witty joke to make him laugh again. No, that wasn't a gold cap...it was...it was...a...a...DEAD...TOOTH!!! EEEEKK!

*Only because of our nasty little gas crisis here...otherwise I would have met him somewhere.

Neurologist News

I had my appointment with the neurologist today. He seems to think that my headaches are stress and anxiety related, so he prescribed an antidepressant in order for me to relax and to relieve anxiety. He also prescribed pain meds for me to take at the onset of the headaches. That's all I have on that subject! Hmmm....

Sunday, September 28, 2008

My man...er...cat!


This is the only man that has been in my bed for MONTHS! Uh-huh, still celibate!

Actually, I just thought the picture was too cute not to share. I went upstairs one afternoon to find my man-cat lying in my bed just like a human man! Too funny not to snap a pic! Isn't he handsome? ;-)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

New Guy


Last weekend I received an email from a man I met on a dating website about a year or so ago. He and I talked on the phone a couple times but never met live and in person. Somehow along the way, we lost touch. I didn't really have time to know if I liked or disliked him, as we never gave it a chance. And I haven't a clue as to why we stopped speaking.

When I checked my email, I was shocked to see his name. He just told me that he had thought of me and was wondering if I remember him. I did, as he was handsome and very nice. It was just the timing of it all, because I had the FWB and a hectic schedule. I emailed him back, and eventually we spoke on the phone Thursday*. It was a nice 2 hour conversation. We talked more that one night than we did in a few phone calls combined a year ago! New Guy is a college football fan like myself, so we made a plan to get together for some football watching and beer drinking...nothing like a Fall Saturday!!

But my health had other plans this Saturday. Yep, I woke up with one of those headaches bright and early. I don't have any migraine medicine!! Oh God, the pain! I spent my morning nursing my aching head and now feel hungover and exhausted. Did I mention they wipe me out for 12-24 hours? When New Guy called, I was in no shape to be witty, cute, and charming. We had to postpone until tomorrow. :(

*I missed the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy for this! Thank goodness for www.abc.com!

Friday, September 26, 2008

It's not a tumor!

That's all. My headaches are not a result of a brain tumor. I got the news on Tuesday, and I just know that you all have been sitting anxiously on the edge of your seats since then! Sorry to keep you waiting. So the next stop? The neurologist on Monday. Let's see what he has to say. *Sigh*

Okay okay...the next blog will be an actual dating blog!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

One Is The Loneliest Number


One of my coworkers had a little soiree at his place last night. I did attend. When I first arrived, I knew no one. Oh, I forgot to mention that this guy is a FULL DECADE younger than I am. He invited many of his personal friends along with several of our coworkers. I figured most of his friends would be around his age. Since I knew my coworkers would be there, I wasn't sweating the age thing.

When I first arrived, it was just the young coworker, his friends, and their girlfriends. Ugh....really?? So even the youngins have coupled up? My coworker, who is 10 years my junior, already owns a lovely home with his girlfriend. So I sat and watched the young guys play Rockband while their girlfriends chatted with one another and looked at the latest IKEA catalog. A little part of me was uncomfortable because I knew absolutely no one there except my coworker. Another part of me was jealous that these people 10 years younger than I am had found "the one". While yet another small part of me was relieved that I hadn't spent the last ten years chatting with boring little girls while my man played video games with his buddies. I mean these girls took no part in any of the guys' interests. The guys also played a game called Cornhole, a beanbag toss game which has rules that I'm not sure about. Of course, the girlfriends took no part in it. Why be with someone if you have NONE of the same interests? The girls and the guys seemed to have absolutely nothing in common! I don't understand...maybe that's why I'm single. I want to share interests with my significant other.

Then it was time to watch football! I was all down for that! I'm a huge college football fan. Apparently, these young girls did not share that interest with me. During the game, they got bored and went into the bedroom to watch Made of Honor! How stereotypically girly! LOL So I was left with the "men", watching football. Oh yeah, a couple of my coworkers finally arrived about 3 hours after I did!! *Sigh of relief* But wait!! Their husbands were with them!! I can't catch a break! I was still the ONLY single person in sight! At a party of many, many people of varying ages!

But really, if being a part of a couple means I have to pretend not to have my interests or to be interested in ONLY things he wants to do, I don't think I can do it.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Another Moment of Weakness

I made the mistake of listening to Jill Scott's song Crown Royal today! Ugh...that ish makes celibacy practically impossible!! Would it be sooo wrong for me to have just a little meaningless, gratuitous, horny, hot, steamy, and kinky sex??? Like Roxy said...it may just medicate my headaches!

I know Curvy Gurl knows it, but for those of you who don't know the song, check it out. I shouldn't be the only horny blogger!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Headaches

I don't usually write about anything too personal on here...well unless you count my (non)dating life!

But I just want to apologize to those for whom I usually leave comments. I've had a difficult time keeping up with blogs lately, because I have been suffering headaches...headaches that make me cry. I finally broke down and went to my doctor. He scheduled an MRI for me tomorrow, and I have the chance to become a victim of a sleep study in the next couple weeks. Yay.

Well anyway, that's why all my favorite bloggers aren't hearing from me as much as usual. It hurts to read and think sometimes.

Let's just hope it's not a tumor! (said in my best Arnold voice!) Sorry, I have to joke in order to restrain the fear. My doctor has me scared to freakin' death.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Must have it....


Oh yeah, I'm still celibate, by the way! This crap is hard! I'm a highly sexual woman. Just when I thought I was getting used to going without, I woke up yesterday morning in heat! Yeah, I said it....IN HEAT! It was an animalistic need to feel something big, hard, and stiff deep inside me! At that point in time, I didn't care who the man attached to it might be. Alas, there was no man here to please me. Me being the independent woman that I am, I had to please my damn self! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck! I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I thought about calling up the FWB*!!! No worries, I didn't cave....only because my girlfriend and her husband came over to help me out with some home improvements. If I had been left alone, I just know that the dirty texting would have commenced. By the time my friends left, it was late, and I was too tired to think straight. But today, sex is on the brain again.

Pray to your spiritual idol for me...hell, send me a chastity belt and hold on to the key!

*If you are new to my blog, click on FWB in the sidebar in order to read all about that train wreck!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Married With Children


So the new guy...we will call him MWC (Married With Children) is still married! OMG! Really?? He and I were texting back and forth, and he finally admitted to me that his divorce isn't final. According to his profile, he is divorced. According to his profile, he has two kids. All that I'm cool with....but...SEPARATED?? Nah, I don't think I can roll like that! At first, I thought I could be okay with casual hanging out and becoming friends. But when did it began to feel sordid? When he asked me to call him but block my number first...that's when! I asked him why I had to block my number, and he told me that his lawyer advised him to do so. Something just didn't feel right about it. I know it's best to be cautious when in the midst of a divorce, but why not wait until the divorce is complete before dating?

MWC told me he would text or call me when his kids were in bed, and then we could meet for a drink. It worked out well for both of us, because I could still watch my football game! I agreed even though I wasn't feeling right about it all. I think my gut was right, because he never did call or text. I'm pretty sure that MWC is still living with the family. Now I'm not saying they aren't getting a divorce, but I'm not so sure that they are too far into the process!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

We set the date!


Hehe! No, I'm not getting married, but the LD Man and I have decided on a weekend to meet. I'm not going to tell you the date, because I'm kinda superstitious about things and don't want to jinx it! LOL Just know that we have found a mutually agreeable weekend in the not so distant future!

In other dating news, there is a seemingly handsome young man from a dating website pursuing me. I'm not so sure about him, as he is a texter! *sigh* He has kids, which is less than desirable for me, but I'm willing to give him a chance. It's all part of my self-improvement plan. He says he would like to meet later for a drink if I have no other plans. Let's see....college football or meet with a prospective date??? What do you think?

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Making Up!


Maybe I blogged too soon! The LD Man finally called. He actually called and left a message a couple hours after my last blog, but we didn't get a chance to speak until today after playing a little phone tag. He addressed some of my insecurities and made me feel much better about things between us. So there is one aspect of my life that's looking up. Now if only I can divorce Mr. Mortgage and start a new career!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Not So Sane

Maybe I'm not so sane, because I have been one depressed little lady lately. I hate my job, I'm broke, and I think the LD Man is no longer talking to me. It's crazy how we seemed to be getting closer and then suddenly....NOTHING. He hasn't called, even though he emailed me two days ago and told me he would. I opened up so much to him...more so than anyone in many years. I thought he liked me regardless of all my crazy sides! It hurts.

I know I'm making no sense, but my thoughts and emotions have been so jumbled the last week. I'm so sick of being alone, so I just sink further into depression. It's a vicious cycle. I need to snap out of it. I find it so hard to trust anyone anymore though.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Loss of Life

The LD Man lost one of his closest friends this past week. The guy was not very old (early 40's). He was excercising and complained of a headache. Suddenly, he was down. He suffered from an aneurysm, and was on life support for several days. This man had a wife and three kids. It's so very sad.

It has made me do a lot of thinking though. The time we have here on this earth is undetermined. How many days have we wasted stressed out, pissed off, sad, or feeling sorry for ourselves? Why do we get stuck for YEARS in careers or relationships we abhor?

Shouldn't we spend every moment we can appreciating those in our lives, enjoying the few precious moments given to us? Shouldn't we be happy with our partners? In our careers?

I've been thinking about running away from home lately! The only thing tying me down is Mr. Mortgage, and I'm thinking about breaking up with him! I want to be free to be happy and to enjoy those I care about.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sickness, Cabin Fever, and Loneliness

My doctor won't let me go to work for the rest of the week. Yesterday I awoke to a small campfire in my throat! Oh the pain! I managed to crawl out of bed and get ready for work. While driving to work in a torrential downpour, I realized just how badly I felt. As soon as I got into my office, I called and made a doctor's appointment for a couple hours later. I left work early to find out that I have some sort of infection similar to strep. My doctor laughed when I mentioned work. He said, "Haha, you aren't going there until next week!" So I'm stuck at home, miserable. I have very little food and drink. Damn, this is when a husband or boyfriend would come in handy. But nooooo, I have to actually take care of myself! *Off to pout now*

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Texting=NO SEX!!

So I found this woman's speech about texting on youtube, and I thought it was interesting. Tell me what you think about her theories! Ahem, I hope she doesn't mind me spreading her views around! ;)

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The FWB Strikes Again!

Due to an exhausting week, I hit the sack early last night. As I was lying in bed watching Clueless (got a problem with that?), the text alert on my cell went off. After a few minutes, I rolled over to see who it was. Lo and behold, the FWB strikes again! The following is the text message in its entirety:

FWB: "Can I come fuck you tomorrow?"

You may ask yourself, "Did Sane respond to this asinine behavior?" The answer is a resounding "NOOOOOO!!!!"

Need I remind you that I haven't had sex with nor spoken to this man in close to four months! That text wouldn't have been quite so surprising when we were doing the deed and in contact on the regular. He has sent me the random text during that time about wanting to get some. I've given him no attention. I mean, would it pain him too much to just pick up the phone and dial my number?

The lack of actual conversation is what began to turn me off during our "relationship". Yes, I'm aware that it was simply a sexual thing, but if you can't stimulate my mind just a lil bit, I get BORED!! So yeah, all desire for the FWB is gone, daddy gone!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

$1 Movie Night

This guy has gone text-mad yet again. While at work, I received a text from the Mad Texter* that said, "R U ignoring me?"

My response: "What do u mean? Haven't heard from u."

Mad Texter*: "I texted u the wk before last. U busy tonight? I'm going to c the movie (Wanted) at the dollar theater at 7:45."

Me: "I didn't get a text from u. What dollar theater?"

He then gave me directions to the theater. I let him know I was still at work and would let him know later. Obviously, I didn't go.

*Name changed to protect the texting fool.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Updates on the FWB and the LD Man


Celibate I still am! Hooray me! The FWB continues to text me occasionally, asking when he can come get it! LOL I guess he feels that persistence will pay off. He also told me that he went by my old class room looking for me when he went back to work. I'm not sure how he missed that fact that I wasn't going back to that job. DOH!

The long distance man that I've been talking to is still hanging around. We still haven't made a plan for a meeting. Due to my job switch, money has been ugly! He actually offered to give me money to help out...not loan...but GIVE! Huh? I'm not sure how to take that. I've never had this happen, and I've never asked for money from anyone.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Why?

Way back when, while I was in grad school, I worked with this guy. We broke our own rules and had a little fling. He was a few years younger than I, but we had a good time together. I'm not really sure what exactly brought it to an end. It was never a deep, meaningful relationship though.

Fast forward about seven years....I got a friend request on one of those social utility web sites from the man who disappeared! We chit-chatted through email and such occasionally. We learned that we both moved to new cities and now live about 350 miles apart. We spoke rarely for about a year, only when one of us would say hello on the social utility site. Eventually, we began to talk on the phone, and soon it became a daily appointment.

We arranged a trip for him to come visit me for a long weekend. We had what I thought was a good time. He was as attractive and sweet as ever. It was like old times. We went to an amusement park, had dinner with friends, cuddled while watching movies. The last day of his visit, I felt as if he was more distant and less affectionate. Silly me...I thought communication was best and asked if he had lost interest or something (not exactly in those words). He got pissed! We had a little tiff, but we made up (hehe). I thought we were cool when I dropped him off at the airport. After that, he didn't call me for weeks. He ignored any messages I left, except one. He sent me a text message saying that I made him feel like "shit". Huh????

Fast forward five months....he is calling again. Calling like nothing ever happened...no mention of the past. Why?

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Motions

I want to apologize for my lack of witty dating stories lately. I haven't been feeling witty, nor have I felt like dating. I have, however, been doing a lot of crying.

Days come and go...I'm not happy, but I'm not really sad all the time either. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm just going through the motions of life.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Eyecandy

I started a new job last week. There isn't one little piece of sweet eyecandy anywhere to be seen! If I have to actually spend 8 or more hours a day in a building, please sprink it with eyecandy!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Hot Sex

I was just watching an old episode of Sex and The City. It's the one just after Carrie first cheated on Aiden with Big in the hotel. Her flashbacks to the act are soooo fucking hot! God, that's the kind of sex I want, no need!! That's want I'm holding out for. It's the animalistic, sweaty, got-to-have-you sex. It's been a long time since I've connected with a man like that. If you don't know the episode and scene I speak of, you need to brush up on your SATC.

But here's a little taste for ya!

I can do it!!!

I'm sticking to my guns! That's right...I STILL haven't had sex! It has been just over 2 months since I last had sex. I've gotten over the sex-craze hump, so to speak. I don't think about it nonstop anymore. As a matter of fact, I rarely think of it at all. Is that normal? I think it helps that I haven't really been dating either. I've been concentrating more on myself rather than trying to hook up with someone.

I have been talking to a man I met on a dating website almost 2 months ago though. We haven't met live and in person yet, due to the distance (about 500-600 miles!), but we do plan to eventually. Maybe it's my blossoming interest in getting to know him that has blocked my sexual appetite for anyone local. I never thought I would ever consider doing a long distance thing with ANYONE, but something is different about this guy. I can't really put my finger on it, but it is. Is that crazy?

Friday, July 25, 2008

Mamma Mia!


I went to see Mamma Mia! tonight with one of my girlfriends and my gay boyfriend. The movie was fun (with the exception of Pierce's singing!), but it made me sad and lonely. So much of it was about undying love, and it made me want to gag. My friends, I do believe I've lost hope. And that is the saddest part of it all. :(

Thursday, July 24, 2008

4th of July

I had a few friends over for a BBQ on the 4th of July. It was just me, a couple girlfriends, and my fag (whom I love love love to hag!). One of my girls decided to invite a new fellow over. He was some dude that she had met on some dating website.

When he showed up, I was very UNimpressed. Scrawny* claimed that he was in his mid-thirties. He looked to be...um...uh...12! He needed to eat, bench press, do some pushups, anything to put some meat on those bones. Think Ralph Macchio in The Karate Kid body, without the tight clothes and high water jeans.

Scrawny* was very quiet. During the evening it somehow came out that Lil Man had kids....5 of 'em!!! HUH??? Don't people know how that shit happens? There is no excuse for a scrawny, unattractive, never married, single man in his mid-thirties to have 5 rugrats! Damn, condoms and the Pill are cheaper!

Anyway, I managed not to judge out loud when this secret surfaced. We made it through the evening, and I didn't really even talk to Scrawny* too much, as he was there with my girlfriend. Besides, I had my other girlfriend and was too busy hagging my fag!

The next day my friend who invited Scrawny* called to tell me that as soon as he left her that night, he sent her a text. It went a lil something like this:

"Would you mind if I ask your friend, (SaneandSingle), out? I really should have asked you for a full body pic. I'm more of a boobs man."

HOW. FUCKING. RUDE!!

The funny thing was that my friend wasn't attracted to him either, as were NONE of us! But we would have never been so rude about saying it!

*Name has been changed to protect the boyish body.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

My Top 3 Fave Curse Words, Tell-Offs, and Comebacks!

Ah, I have been tagged by Lisaq! I'm such an evil bitch, you would think this would be easy for me! The difficult part is narrowing this shit down to just THREE for each category!

SaneandSingle's Top 3 Curse Words:
1. Muthafuck (or any variation of the word...a simple "fuck" will also suffice!)
2. dumbfuck (yeah...I really do love the F bomb in all its forms!)
3. asswipe (hehe...usually exclaimed during moments of road rage)

SaneandSingle's Top 3 Tell-Offs:
1. Let me bend over and let you bite my big, fat, white, ass!
2. If I had a dick, you could suck that too!
3. Stupid should hurt! (another variation....Can't fix stupid!)

SaneandSingle's Top 3 Comebacks:
1. Aw honey, are there no mirrors at your house?
2. Being a fucktard is NOT a disability.
3. I know it hurts to think and talk at the same time.

I'm tagging jo, ecrivain, and Who's That Gurl?

Hopes

No matter how much and how often I tell myself not to get my hopes up, it seems to happen anyway. Even when you think you've played the game with caution and not gotten too involved, it still hurts when he lets you down. I'm not really sure how much more disappointment I can take.

Monday, July 14, 2008

The Third and Final Chapter of the FWB

After my drunken fit on the phone with the FWB, he told me he understood and that he would try harder, that he wanted to be there for me, and see what we could have together. Um...yeah. That lasted all of about 3 weeks.

He finally called me one night and told me that he didn't think he could give me what I wanted or deserved. He wasn't "in a place in life" to allow him to have a relationship. Um...yeah...think I had figured that out already!

We didn't talk too much and didn't see one another for a about a month. Then one day he sent me a text, saying hello and that he missed me. Ugh...I fell for it. Of course, he still couldn't handle a relationship. So there's the story of the FWB. We continued to have sensational sexual relations for the next 4-5 months. It went no where. It got old. I'm too old for this. I need more of a connection. He still says hi occasionally, hoping for some ass. *sigh* This is why I'm not trying on the celibacy thing for a fit.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Who is this?

So I was awakened bright and early this morning by the sound of my cell. Yep, it was a text message from a strange number. It went a little something like this:

Stranger: Hey, what's up?
Me: Who is this?
Stranger: Brad*
Me: The same Brad* that canceled on me last minute a few months ago and never called again?
Stranger: Huh? We met at HipHuggers**.
Me: I haven't been there in almost a year.
Stranger: You were with your girls, and I was with one of my boys. I complimented your outfit. We danced, we danced hard. We then exchanged numbers.


By this time, I'm lost...so lost. Who tha??? I can count on one hand how many times I have been to this particular club, and the last time was nearly a year ago. I've never danced "hard" with anyone of interest there, although I have had a couple of decent conversations, sans dancing, there. So I replied:

Me: I can't say I remember dancing "hard" with someone and giving him my number there.
Stranger: LOL. You know this is the 2nd time I've pulled this on you. This is Brad* who canceled!
Me: Um. I was confused.
Stranger: But at least you're smiling now.
Me: Not really smiling.


Please explain why a grown man would play such "pranks".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Names have been changed to disguise the MIA.
** Names have been changed to prevent you, my readers, from stalking me.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

FWB...Chapter 2

So the FWB and I tried to date. We really did. We are both very busy professionals, and often our schedules conflicted. Every time we tried to plan a date, it was postponed or canceled altogether. Obviously if two people who are animalistically attracted to one another can't get together before 11:00 PM, guess what becomes the focal point of that relationship??? Yep, good old fashioned, sweaty, hot, freaky, screaming for our Savior SEX!! Mmmm mmmm good...

I was hooked! Then one day, after a couple months, it happened. He was to be at my place about 9:30 one Wednesday night. I was showered, shaved, groomed in all the right places, and smelling sweet by 9:00 PM. Ten o'clock rolled around, and I hadn't heard from him yet. I called....voicemail. I texted....no response! This man finally called me back around 11:30 PM, saying " Do you still want me to come over? I fell asleep and just woke up." Oh wow...I felt so warm and fuzzy...NOT!! I was nice and told him to get some rest, and we would reschedule for the weekend or something.

Weeks go by and we continue "dating" (ahem...fucking), although not nearly as often as I would have liked. I have the sex drive of an 18 year old boy....I want it often...as often as I can get it. We discussed the frequency of our "dates", and he agreed to "date" me more often. And then it happened...again....except this time? He fucking just FORGOT about our "date." That hurt...

A few days later, after a bottle of Shiraz, I cursed, screamed, and cried into the phone at him, expressing my hurt and anger over him forgetting about me and the fact that all we did was fuck....no real dates...just fucking! I wanted...I needed more.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

FWB...how it came to be...Chapter I

The FWB*...he began as a crush...

The FWB* and I met at orientation for my last job. Well I say met, but really I just watched him from across the room. He was sooo ridiculously cute with his wittle baby face and smile that made me melt. For the entire 4 days, I tried to find the right opportunity to approach him...hell, a REASON to approach him. Even though I seem like a loud-mouth, I am actually rather shy when it comes to boys! hehe

It turns out that he would be working upstairs from me, so there was no rush. But what did I do?? I stalked him. Yep. I MySpace-stalked the guy! Once I found out his name, I looked him up on MySpace....lo and behold! There my cutie was! So I added him as a friend. He then responded with a flirty little message. We had a MySpace relationship for a few weeks, and finally! he asked for my phone number. Things moved quickly from there, and we made plans to do dinner and a movie one Friday night after work. Of course, if you know me, you know that if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong! And accordingly, FWB* had to work late and had to reschedule for Sunday night. Sunday night rolled around, and he was late coming back into town (weekend trip) and rescheduled again. This was not looking good, my friends...

By the time we could actually find a mutually good time to meet, we decided to just rent a DVD. And well...we didn't exactly "watch" it! There was no question about the physical chemistry between us. Like a magnet to steel, he was to me. However, we didn't "seal the deal" that first night, but the second time he came over....WOW! BEST. DICK. EVER. I fell...hard...fast!


*Name withheld to protect fantabulous (possibly magical) dick.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I Get Weak...


It's late night/early morning. I'm lonely. Don't think this celibacy stint will last too long. My old FWB keeps trying to bring over some of that hot, steamy, nasty, slow-grinding sex he does oh-so-well! I'm trying to resist....really. But this man has one of the most beautiful dicks I've ever seen, in real life or in porn! Not only is it gorgeous, but wow! he knows how to use it! I can't stop imagining my legs wrapped around his waist...or neck...Uh huh, you gotta lick it before you stick it*....my back arched.......


Ok, I'm going to bed. Alone. Again.


*I'll give you a cookie if you actually know that song!


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Wish me Luck...


So I've decided that I need to clear my head. I'm taking this class that is soon to end...thank God!! I'm also looking for a job (ahem...so if you know anybody in the legal field, get at me!). These two things have kept me in a haze.

I want sex....but I don't want sex with just anybody. And there is nobody in my life that isn't just anybody. You following me? I'm thinking I need a real connection with someone. It's been too long. I'm lonely. I'm horny.

So yeah, I'm thinking I'm entering into a self-imposed celibacy phase. Yeah, it doesn't have to make sense, even though it does to me.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Then what?

I sent a text to a man I've only spoken to a couple of times. I asked him if he wanted to meet for a drink tomorrow night. He responded with, "Then what?" All I could say back is, "Wow." The fucker then had the nerve to send me another text a few minutes later that went a lil something like this:

"Don't be mad at me, but I'm not sure who this is. Could you refresh my memory?"

Sigh...

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Period panties??


I met a new man on a dating website a couple weeks ago. We spoke on the phone daily, complete with "Good morning sweetie" text messages (from him to me). Unfortunately (or fortunately), he isn't a local man, so we had to postpone a meeting until both our schedules permitted. He only lives a couple hours away, so he made the drive to my city on a Friday night.


He played it smart and decided to get a hotel room instead of expecting to stay at my place. I mean what if we didn't hit it off??? He wasn't gonna be hanging in my space all weekend.

So I met Steve* at his hotel, and we went to dinner from there. Things were flowing well. Steve* was tall, dark, and handsome (every girl's stereotypical dream, huh?) We laughed, we joked, we talked about the flexibility of the word "fuck"**....all over a bottle of wine and some appetizers. And yes, we ended up back at the hotel, just talking. I thought we were going to bar, but he apparently had other plans. He said he wanted to just chill and watch TV. So somewhere in the conversation, Steve* asked what kind of panties I was wearing (Exsqueeze me?). I just laughed and said, "Well a girl can't be too creative during certain times of the month!" Steve* looked like an eight year old who just had his bike stolen! He asked, "so you're on your period?" I said, "Yes." He then had the nerve to say, "Why didn't you tell me that before I drove here?" Talking about a mood killer!

* Names have been changed to protect the lustful.
**Fuck in its various forms may serve a variety of purposes and can perform as several parts of speech, such as noun, adjective, verb, etc. Not to mention is an all-time favorite of mine!