No matter how much and how often I tell myself not to get my hopes up, it seems to happen anyway. Even when you think you've played the game with caution and not gotten too involved, it still hurts when he lets you down. I'm not really sure how much more disappointment I can take.
12 comments:
aww hun, i totally feel you. what happened??
That's hard, I hope you feel better about it soon.
You know keeping hopes and expectations at a realistic, manageable level is one of the hardest things in the world to do. It's because other people have their own and we can't always know what they are or whether they mesh with ours.
The best thing is to have hopes and expectations for yourself not for others, not for dates, and certainly not for men. After all, you and your expectations are the only thing you can control and you wouldn't purposefully let yourself down right?
You're not alone. I'm on the same vicious rollercoaster with someone who's been a friend for years and suddenly became the target of my attention (this really strikes me as odd because I wasn't feeling him like this before but anywho...). I don't know if this will help you but sometimes I have to remind myself of what Terrence Howard said once "the person with the least involved has the control in the relationship". Simple but true. I know it's extremely hard to turn off the emotional faucet. You don't want to be cold but at the same time being vulnerable ain't fun either. When I was nonchalant and indifferent, he was all up in my face. I don't know what it is but they're strange. Just when you think you have it right the game changes. I know I should let him go on his merry way but, dang, he awakens something in me. Not to worry, my friend, the one who will love, respect and consider your feelings will appear in your life when you're not even thinking about it. I could go on for days about this...ugh! Keep hope alive :)!
This incident wasn't really a big deal. It was justa man I thought was different. Turns out he ain't so different after all! Thanks for all the words of wisdom, girls. Y'all really feel me, huh?
Glad it wasn't too serious. Hate to hear about any disappointing episodes. Wish I could say I don't understand but I wrote a chapter in the book. Speaking of books...I read a good on that provided some of the insight I needed (it was at my local library but I'd buy it) --Men, Love & Sex: The Complete User's Guide for Women by David Zinczenko. I'm convinced that I need an older guy in my life...one who's too old for games, has benefits and a 401K. What a turn on that would be :).
The thing about disappointment and hope is...we never get used to it and it never goes away. Is that a bad thing, though? In some ways, it just means that we're capable of surviving so much more than we initially thought.
disappointment doesn't kill, rejection kills-disappointment merely maims - The Truth About Cats and Dogs
true isn't it? I hear you, and feel for you. I keep getting maimed myself. But you know what? What else can we do.
What's the other option??? Give up? Not be ourselves and feel things???
Thanks but no thanks, cause when it's good, it's really good. Hold out for that baby, it'll come.
dissapointment is never easy to take. even if you tell yourself you wont get your hopes up about something, and even if you dont?, it still sucks.
I started talking with a previous 'thing' again, and I knew I made a mistake. I definitely did the drunk sex-text later that weekend, and I knew that I had lost the Battle of Who Could Care Less.
TR, I always like to hear the male perspective. What led to your rekindling this in the first place? Comfort/familiarity? Are you planning to let her know it may not have been a wise move?
WTG: I see her around from time to time. We weren't sure what we wanted, and I think we wanted it at different times, but eventually life got in the way. I'm not sure how it'd go if we 'dated', as we had a friendship that was fuzzy and comfortable...which I like, as it gives me time to really get to know someone before committing any feelings or real time/effort.
Btw...I completely agree with, "the person least involved...." comment. It is [unfortunately] how I go about starting a relationship, as I avoid most of the relationship carnage if it doesn't work out.
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