Monday, September 29, 2008

Dead Tooth

Let me begin this by telling you the MOST attractive physical traits of a man in my book.

1. I like a big man...don't really like them short and thin.
2. I like a nice smile.
3. I love manly hands that are taken care of (but not too much!).


1. Smokers
2. Too much cologne (due to allergies)
3. Man sandals (if you don't know, ask your girlfriends....I'm sure one of them does!)

Remember the New Guy? Well, we finally met on Sunday. And let me tell you, he violated all of the above guidelines!

He came to pick me up.* As soon as I opened the door, I noticed how thin he is. Now, thin I can live with; it isn't a deal breaker. Then his scent hit me! Some kind of cheap cologne that I just knew would aggravate my allergies. I told myself to man up and give him a chance. Once in the car, another scent hit me! Yep....stale cigarette smoke...a sure sign that he is a regular smoker. So the combination of cheap cologne and stale smoke was an all out olfactory/sinus assault! I began to feel queasy, and my head began to pound.

We only went a couple miles from my place to have lunch. His hands...oh the hands were rougher than sandpaper...and I don't know about you other ladies out there, but I don't want sandpaper rubbed all over my soft and naked body! As we walked into the restaurant, I spotted the man sandal peeking from under his jeans. Sometime during the conversation at the restaurant, he smiled at me. What?? Did I just see a gold-capped tooth?? Ugh... So just to be sure, I crack some witty joke to make him laugh again. No, that wasn't a gold was...a...a...DEAD...TOOTH!!! EEEEKK!

*Only because of our nasty little gas crisis here...otherwise I would have met him somewhere.

Neurologist News

I had my appointment with the neurologist today. He seems to think that my headaches are stress and anxiety related, so he prescribed an antidepressant in order for me to relax and to relieve anxiety. He also prescribed pain meds for me to take at the onset of the headaches. That's all I have on that subject! Hmmm....

Sunday, September 28, 2008


This is the only man that has been in my bed for MONTHS! Uh-huh, still celibate!

Actually, I just thought the picture was too cute not to share. I went upstairs one afternoon to find my man-cat lying in my bed just like a human man! Too funny not to snap a pic! Isn't he handsome? ;-)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

New Guy

Last weekend I received an email from a man I met on a dating website about a year or so ago. He and I talked on the phone a couple times but never met live and in person. Somehow along the way, we lost touch. I didn't really have time to know if I liked or disliked him, as we never gave it a chance. And I haven't a clue as to why we stopped speaking.

When I checked my email, I was shocked to see his name. He just told me that he had thought of me and was wondering if I remember him. I did, as he was handsome and very nice. It was just the timing of it all, because I had the FWB and a hectic schedule. I emailed him back, and eventually we spoke on the phone Thursday*. It was a nice 2 hour conversation. We talked more that one night than we did in a few phone calls combined a year ago! New Guy is a college football fan like myself, so we made a plan to get together for some football watching and beer drinking...nothing like a Fall Saturday!!

But my health had other plans this Saturday. Yep, I woke up with one of those headaches bright and early. I don't have any migraine medicine!! Oh God, the pain! I spent my morning nursing my aching head and now feel hungover and exhausted. Did I mention they wipe me out for 12-24 hours? When New Guy called, I was in no shape to be witty, cute, and charming. We had to postpone until tomorrow. :(

*I missed the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy for this! Thank goodness for!

Friday, September 26, 2008

It's not a tumor!

That's all. My headaches are not a result of a brain tumor. I got the news on Tuesday, and I just know that you all have been sitting anxiously on the edge of your seats since then! Sorry to keep you waiting. So the next stop? The neurologist on Monday. Let's see what he has to say. *Sigh*

Okay okay...the next blog will be an actual dating blog!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

One Is The Loneliest Number

One of my coworkers had a little soiree at his place last night. I did attend. When I first arrived, I knew no one. Oh, I forgot to mention that this guy is a FULL DECADE younger than I am. He invited many of his personal friends along with several of our coworkers. I figured most of his friends would be around his age. Since I knew my coworkers would be there, I wasn't sweating the age thing.

When I first arrived, it was just the young coworker, his friends, and their girlfriends. Ugh....really?? So even the youngins have coupled up? My coworker, who is 10 years my junior, already owns a lovely home with his girlfriend. So I sat and watched the young guys play Rockband while their girlfriends chatted with one another and looked at the latest IKEA catalog. A little part of me was uncomfortable because I knew absolutely no one there except my coworker. Another part of me was jealous that these people 10 years younger than I am had found "the one". While yet another small part of me was relieved that I hadn't spent the last ten years chatting with boring little girls while my man played video games with his buddies. I mean these girls took no part in any of the guys' interests. The guys also played a game called Cornhole, a beanbag toss game which has rules that I'm not sure about. Of course, the girlfriends took no part in it. Why be with someone if you have NONE of the same interests? The girls and the guys seemed to have absolutely nothing in common! I don't understand...maybe that's why I'm single. I want to share interests with my significant other.

Then it was time to watch football! I was all down for that! I'm a huge college football fan. Apparently, these young girls did not share that interest with me. During the game, they got bored and went into the bedroom to watch Made of Honor! How stereotypically girly! LOL So I was left with the "men", watching football. Oh yeah, a couple of my coworkers finally arrived about 3 hours after I did!! *Sigh of relief* But wait!! Their husbands were with them!! I can't catch a break! I was still the ONLY single person in sight! At a party of many, many people of varying ages!

But really, if being a part of a couple means I have to pretend not to have my interests or to be interested in ONLY things he wants to do, I don't think I can do it.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Another Moment of Weakness

I made the mistake of listening to Jill Scott's song Crown Royal today! Ugh...that ish makes celibacy practically impossible!! Would it be sooo wrong for me to have just a little meaningless, gratuitous, horny, hot, steamy, and kinky sex??? Like Roxy may just medicate my headaches!

I know Curvy Gurl knows it, but for those of you who don't know the song, check it out. I shouldn't be the only horny blogger!

Thursday, September 18, 2008


I don't usually write about anything too personal on here...well unless you count my (non)dating life!

But I just want to apologize to those for whom I usually leave comments. I've had a difficult time keeping up with blogs lately, because I have been suffering headaches...headaches that make me cry. I finally broke down and went to my doctor. He scheduled an MRI for me tomorrow, and I have the chance to become a victim of a sleep study in the next couple weeks. Yay.

Well anyway, that's why all my favorite bloggers aren't hearing from me as much as usual. It hurts to read and think sometimes.

Let's just hope it's not a tumor! (said in my best Arnold voice!) Sorry, I have to joke in order to restrain the fear. My doctor has me scared to freakin' death.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Must have it....

Oh yeah, I'm still celibate, by the way! This crap is hard! I'm a highly sexual woman. Just when I thought I was getting used to going without, I woke up yesterday morning in heat! Yeah, I said it....IN HEAT! It was an animalistic need to feel something big, hard, and stiff deep inside me! At that point in time, I didn't care who the man attached to it might be. Alas, there was no man here to please me. Me being the independent woman that I am, I had to please my damn self! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck! I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I thought about calling up the FWB*!!! No worries, I didn't cave....only because my girlfriend and her husband came over to help me out with some home improvements. If I had been left alone, I just know that the dirty texting would have commenced. By the time my friends left, it was late, and I was too tired to think straight. But today, sex is on the brain again.

Pray to your spiritual idol for me...hell, send me a chastity belt and hold on to the key!

*If you are new to my blog, click on FWB in the sidebar in order to read all about that train wreck!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Married With Children

So the new guy...we will call him MWC (Married With Children) is still married! OMG! Really?? He and I were texting back and forth, and he finally admitted to me that his divorce isn't final. According to his profile, he is divorced. According to his profile, he has two kids. All that I'm cool with....but...SEPARATED?? Nah, I don't think I can roll like that! At first, I thought I could be okay with casual hanging out and becoming friends. But when did it began to feel sordid? When he asked me to call him but block my number first...that's when! I asked him why I had to block my number, and he told me that his lawyer advised him to do so. Something just didn't feel right about it. I know it's best to be cautious when in the midst of a divorce, but why not wait until the divorce is complete before dating?

MWC told me he would text or call me when his kids were in bed, and then we could meet for a drink. It worked out well for both of us, because I could still watch my football game! I agreed even though I wasn't feeling right about it all. I think my gut was right, because he never did call or text. I'm pretty sure that MWC is still living with the family. Now I'm not saying they aren't getting a divorce, but I'm not so sure that they are too far into the process!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

We set the date!

Hehe! No, I'm not getting married, but the LD Man and I have decided on a weekend to meet. I'm not going to tell you the date, because I'm kinda superstitious about things and don't want to jinx it! LOL Just know that we have found a mutually agreeable weekend in the not so distant future!

In other dating news, there is a seemingly handsome young man from a dating website pursuing me. I'm not so sure about him, as he is a texter! *sigh* He has kids, which is less than desirable for me, but I'm willing to give him a chance. It's all part of my self-improvement plan. He says he would like to meet later for a drink if I have no other plans. Let's football or meet with a prospective date??? What do you think?

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Making Up!

Maybe I blogged too soon! The LD Man finally called. He actually called and left a message a couple hours after my last blog, but we didn't get a chance to speak until today after playing a little phone tag. He addressed some of my insecurities and made me feel much better about things between us. So there is one aspect of my life that's looking up. Now if only I can divorce Mr. Mortgage and start a new career!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Not So Sane

Maybe I'm not so sane, because I have been one depressed little lady lately. I hate my job, I'm broke, and I think the LD Man is no longer talking to me. It's crazy how we seemed to be getting closer and then suddenly....NOTHING. He hasn't called, even though he emailed me two days ago and told me he would. I opened up so much to him...more so than anyone in many years. I thought he liked me regardless of all my crazy sides! It hurts.

I know I'm making no sense, but my thoughts and emotions have been so jumbled the last week. I'm so sick of being alone, so I just sink further into depression. It's a vicious cycle. I need to snap out of it. I find it so hard to trust anyone anymore though.