Monday, September 29, 2008
Let me begin this by telling you the MOST attractive physical traits of a man in my book.
1. I like a big man...don't really like them short and thin.
2. I like a nice smile.
3. I love manly hands that are taken care of (but not too much!).
2. Too much cologne (due to allergies)
3. Man sandals (if you don't know, ask your girlfriends....I'm sure one of them does!)
Remember the New Guy? Well, we finally met on Sunday. And let me tell you, he violated all of the above guidelines!
He came to pick me up.* As soon as I opened the door, I noticed how thin he is. Now, thin I can live with; it isn't a deal breaker. Then his scent hit me! Some kind of cheap cologne that I just knew would aggravate my allergies. I told myself to man up and give him a chance. Once in the car, another scent hit me! Yep....stale cigarette smoke...a sure sign that he is a regular smoker. So the combination of cheap cologne and stale smoke was an all out olfactory/sinus assault! I began to feel queasy, and my head began to pound.
We only went a couple miles from my place to have lunch. His hands...oh the hands were rougher than sandpaper...and I don't know about you other ladies out there, but I don't want sandpaper rubbed all over my soft and naked body! As we walked into the restaurant, I spotted the man sandal peeking from under his jeans. Sometime during the conversation at the restaurant, he smiled at me. What?? Did I just see a gold-capped tooth?? Ugh... So just to be sure, I crack some witty joke to make him laugh again. No, that wasn't a gold cap...it was...it was...a...a...DEAD...TOOTH!!! EEEEKK!
*Only because of our nasty little gas crisis here...otherwise I would have met him somewhere.