Thursday, July 24, 2008

4th of July

I had a few friends over for a BBQ on the 4th of July. It was just me, a couple girlfriends, and my fag (whom I love love love to hag!). One of my girls decided to invite a new fellow over. He was some dude that she had met on some dating website.

When he showed up, I was very UNimpressed. Scrawny* claimed that he was in his mid-thirties. He looked to be...um...uh...12! He needed to eat, bench press, do some pushups, anything to put some meat on those bones. Think Ralph Macchio in The Karate Kid body, without the tight clothes and high water jeans.

Scrawny* was very quiet. During the evening it somehow came out that Lil Man had kids....5 of 'em!!! HUH??? Don't people know how that shit happens? There is no excuse for a scrawny, unattractive, never married, single man in his mid-thirties to have 5 rugrats! Damn, condoms and the Pill are cheaper!

Anyway, I managed not to judge out loud when this secret surfaced. We made it through the evening, and I didn't really even talk to Scrawny* too much, as he was there with my girlfriend. Besides, I had my other girlfriend and was too busy hagging my fag!

The next day my friend who invited Scrawny* called to tell me that as soon as he left her that night, he sent her a text. It went a lil something like this:

"Would you mind if I ask your friend, (SaneandSingle), out? I really should have asked you for a full body pic. I'm more of a boobs man."

HOW. FUCKING. RUDE!!

The funny thing was that my friend wasn't attracted to him either, as were NONE of us! But we would have never been so rude about saying it!

*Name has been changed to protect the boyish body.

11 comments:

Non Sequitur Chica said...

Ewww what a jerk. He must have had to roofie the girls that he got pregnant in order to get with them.

jo said...

you mean the scrawny dude has 5 kids and he's hitting on other women?? where's the wifey? gosh what a sleazebag...

SheComesFirst said...

Wow, the balls on that guy! And I don't mean that in a good way.

Ecrivain said...

unfuckbelievable. that's all i gotta say about that.

Who's That Gurl? said...

Wow, that's some bold sh*t. Is it me or are there four duds for every decent one? He's the type that would follow my as* around, cheesing and being annoying as hell. Yuck!

SaneAndSingle said...

non sequitur chica: I really am not sure how the hell he got those women...and eww at the thought of it!

Jo: I'm not sure there is a wifey! I am sure that there are probably a couple baby mommas though! Gag...

Shecomesfirst: Scrawny balls??? barf...

And yes, ecrivain...I was blown away by his nerve as well.

who's that gurl?: I always attract that kinda crap too!

lisa q. said...

Shut.The.Fuck.Up. Just when I think nothing can surprise me anymore, I hear of crap like this. Lord God. What a frickin' assclown that one is Sheesh!

Kate said...

Wow, I pity the girls who may run into him on the dating site.

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

Condoms: Cheaper Than Child Support.

That should be Trojan's new slogan. That guy sounds like a tool.

Roxy said...

Ok your friend needs some lessons in internet dating.

1. know about the guy

2. get his picture and don't trust him when he promises he's handsome without a pic.

2. meet him beforehand to make sure he is the guy in the pic and not someone else or 20 years older.

There are many more rules I've learned from my own internet sexcapades, but these are absolutely essential.

I'd love to add the rule of never bringing a guy you haven't met in person to a party with your friends, but your group handled the situation very well.

Hardt in the City said...

I've had some funny dates with guys I've met on singles sites... but that one by far is the best!