New Job

Yep...I've found one. It's only part time, and it's pretty crappy pay, but it's a job...at a SPA!! I'm going to be a receptionist. Luckily, it's just around the corner from my apartment, so I will save on gas. I start school on October 1 (yeah, a Saturday!), and I can't wait! I've never been so excited about being a broke college student! You would not believe how relieved I already feel just being away from the education system.

Stalker, of course, is still hanging around. Sometimes, there's sex, and sometimes there isn't. Either way it is comfortable. He makes me smile.

I quit...

I did! I quit! I quit my job! I'm currently one of the unemployed in America. Due to my severe allergies, my doctor required me to move classrooms. The system wasn't willing to accommodate to a degree at which I would be comfortable, so I was left with the option to resign and become eligible for unemployment. Yay! I'm relieved and afraid at once.

I'll be starting a massage therapy program next month. Just pray that I get some sort of job to pay the bills.


*This post has been shortened and changed to protect my anonymity as much as possible. Excuse the lack of detail.

All Work and No Play

Obviously, I'm back at work. This is it. It will be my last year. I can do it no longer. It sucks my soul, my spirit, and my love of life from me. If I could afford to do so now, I just wouldn't return again. Unfortunately, I'm not in the position to do so. The state has taken over my school under the guise of a grant. The teachers are constantly required to write up reports, crunch data, and attend "professional learning", leaving no time to actually teach. Until this country can get the state of education right and make the children the priority and not test scores, I can't be a part of it. We are teaching students how to take a test, not how to become productive members of society. This was not my goal 10 years ago when I first stepped into the class room. It's breaking my heart.

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Yes, I have been neglecting blogland again. I have good reasons.

#1- I've been self reflecting. I need to make some changes in my life. I mean if I am not happy alone, how can I expect anyone else to be happy with me? My job eats away at my soul daily. Don't get me wrong...I do enjoy teaching kids. But it CONSUMES every bit of me...emotionally, physically, and mentally most of the school year. I'm not your average class room teacher. I am a special educator, and I love my kids. Sometimes that love leaves no room in my life for anyone else. So...I'm thinking a career change is in order for me to have a life beyond my work.

#2- I'm still absolutely head over heels in love...with my dog! All spare time goes to him and our adventures in the dog park and PetsMart! I still haven't met anyone of interest at the dog park. I take that back. I've met interesting people, just not ROMANTICALLY interesting. I meet very nice young couples and elderly ladies. And before you ask, yes we go to a couple different dog parks for some variety.

#3- I've injured myself yet again. I over slept last Wednesday and was running late for work. I pulled into the parking lot just as 1st period was beginning. In my rush to get into the building, I just fell face down onto the sidewalk. No, I didn't trip...I was walking and then I was splayed across the concrete, breaking my phone, my pen, and my ribs. I continued to work Wednesday and Thursday in pain. Finally, Friday breathing became almost unbearable. I let HR make me a doctor appointment (yay workers' comp!). The doctor put me on work restrictions, but my administration said that I couldn't perform my duties with those restrictions. And now I have a forced vacation until the doctor releases me to work again. My friend, Angel and Demon, says that God sent an angel to trip me so that I could have a mental vacation. Should've had that knee surgery last week, as originally planned, so I could at least collect short-term disability!

#4- I've not met any men from online or elsewhere. As a matter of fact, I haven't even cared to think about dating, or even sex. I must be sick!! It recently just dawned on me that I've had no man or sex drive for several months. I blame it all on #1!

#5- My damn blog has been attacked by spammers!! Every time I log in, I have crazy sex sites that have left comments as anonymous users! Has this happened to anyone else? How do I shake them off?

Sexy Song of the Week and MatchMan

Happy hump day, everybody!! This week's song is an oldie but goodie! Yeah, old school sexy is a good thing too! Enjoy!

Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs - STAY.
Uploaded by fabriziodwf.

MatchMan and I went out to a movie Monday night. A good time was had by all! Yes friends, we will be going on a second date Thursday night! I think stripper heels and conservative attire is where it's at! ;-)

MatchMan was the same in person as on the phone. We are still doing the teen phone thing. I'm trying to ween that down a little though, because you know what they say about too much of a good thing. It is a good thing, but I don't want it to burn out before it really gets started.

Sooo...I have Ex-Coworker coming in town for the 4th of July weekend...what to do??

Clubbin'

I don't like it. I'm too old for it. Drunk people continuously bump into me, and I feel invisible. For some reason, I agreed to go to one last night. It was exactly as I remembered it. I headed for the door after an hour of standing in 3 inch heels, getting knocked from side to side by drunk people. I would go more often if there was more seating!

RM and I are still hanging out occasionally, but with our schedules there is no time for too much quality time. Otherwise, there has been no dating to speak of.

I've decided to live my life for me, and if he comes along, he comes along. Oh, I do have a tentative meeting planned for Tuesday night with a guy from an online dating site. We'll see how that goes!

Did I tell you guys that young coworker got engaged. I don't understand it, but hey, maybe he's happier than he appears to be with her.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is history in the making!! I'm so excited!! Unfortunately though, I have to work and can find no way of getting out of it without my pay getting docked!

Today, we remember the man who made it possible for the man our country will inaugurate tomorrow! Both of them are what every hero should be.

Pretty Boy and Hot Stuff

A few weeks ago, a strange man in my area added me as a friend on MySpace. Now, I don't usually use MySpace as a dating device. It's really just for fun and to keep up with friends I can't see regularly. But this guy was cute...real fuckin' cute. That's one friend request I couldn't refuse. So we messaged one another a few times, only to learn that he lives extremely close to me. One day, after work, we decided to meet up at the local bookstore/coffee shop. And maaaaaan, he was even hotter in person than he was on MySpace. So we will call him Hot Stuff. He has a great sense of humor and good conversation. He helped me pick out my next couple of reads, while we chatted and drank coffee. The date with Hot Stuff lasted a couple hours. It was one of those nice, easy, and relaxed dates. When he walked me to my car, he said "Good night, little buddy!" as he hugged me. Umm....LITTLE BUDDY??? I just laughed it off and said, "Nice meeting you, big buddy!" He texted me an hour or so later and continued to do so for a couple hours. It was nice. He told me that he thought I was attractive, but that he isn't looking for anything serious. I just told him I was cool with being friends. Whatever happens happens. About two days later, I received a text from him that said, "So when can I come eat your pussy?" I have to admit it made me laugh!!

A few days after I went out with Hot Stuff, I met up with Pretty Boy for Mexican food at a hot restaurant in a hot area of the city. Pretty Boy is just that...pretty! He is a nice guy, but he has very little to say. I enjoyed the date. Again, it was relaxed, fun, and casual. Not too sure if I am anxious to do it again though. Pretty Boy is still calling, and Hot Stuff is still texting, but don't think I'll see either or make any decisions until after the new year. If nothing else, they can be sources of fun for me! ;-)

Guess I have some 'splainin' to do...

A quick little update blog for everyone! I know you've been checking my little spot here, anxiously awaiting my updates with bated breath!

I finally went out with Doc. It wasn't all I'd hoped it would be. He was in my city for a medical convention. I don't know if I mentioned that he lives about an hour and half drive from me. We met up for dinner and drinks the night after Obama became our President-elect (yep...happy dance!). Conversation was still casual and flirty, as usual. Afterward, I followed him back to his fancy hotel that they put him up in just to hang out. As we walked into the lobby, he looked behind us and saw two black women. He then said, "Let me slow down so those black girls don't think I'm with you."* I was like, "WTF???" All I could say back is "Wow." He tried to play it off as a joke, but that shit ain't funny to me. I would never even think to say something like that to someone! So needless to say, the night was ruined, and I left him alone at his hotel after a lull and an attempt at cool conversation. Of course, he hasn't called again.

The young coworker's Halloween party went off without a hitch. A drunken good time was had by all. We stayed up way too late, drank way too much, danced, played Cornhole**, and became rockstars with the help of Nintendo 360 and Rockband! The young coworker and I have recognized our attraction to one another, but we haven't acted on it. We have cooled the texting, but he does still ask me to hang out often. We've only done so once since the party. Oh yeah, and he still has his girlfriend.

KS still sends me the occasional "Good morning" text message a couple times a week. I still respond and never hear back til the next "Good morning." Sigh.

And last but definitely not least, I will finally meet LD Man tomorrow!!! I'm excited, nervous, scared, and in shock right now! I'll let you know how it goes! :)

*Doc is black, I'm not.
**Youtube it if you don't understand, because I really can't explain!

My man...er...cat!

This is the only man that has been in my bed for MONTHS! Uh-huh, still celibate!

Actually, I just thought the picture was too cute not to share. I went upstairs one afternoon to find my man-cat lying in my bed just like a human man! Too funny not to snap a pic! Isn't he handsome? ;-)

Making Up!

Maybe I blogged too soon! The LD Man finally called. He actually called and left a message a couple hours after my last blog, but we didn't get a chance to speak until today after playing a little phone tag. He addressed some of my insecurities and made me feel much better about things between us. So there is one aspect of my life that's looking up. Now if only I can divorce Mr. Mortgage and start a new career!

Not So Sane

Maybe I'm not so sane, because I have been one depressed little lady lately. I hate my job, I'm broke, and I think the LD Man is no longer talking to me. It's crazy how we seemed to be getting closer and then suddenly....NOTHING. He hasn't called, even though he emailed me two days ago and told me he would. I opened up so much to him...more so than anyone in many years. I thought he liked me regardless of all my crazy sides! It hurts.

I know I'm making no sense, but my thoughts and emotions have been so jumbled the last week. I'm so sick of being alone, so I just sink further into depression. It's a vicious cycle. I need to snap out of it. I find it so hard to trust anyone anymore though.

The Loss of Life

The LD Man lost one of his closest friends this past week. The guy was not very old (early 40's). He was excercising and complained of a headache. Suddenly, he was down. He suffered from an aneurysm, and was on life support for several days. This man had a wife and three kids. It's so very sad.

It has made me do a lot of thinking though. The time we have here on this earth is undetermined. How many days have we wasted stressed out, pissed off, sad, or feeling sorry for ourselves? Why do we get stuck for YEARS in careers or relationships we abhor?

Shouldn't we spend every moment we can appreciating those in our lives, enjoying the few precious moments given to us? Shouldn't we be happy with our partners? In our careers?

I've been thinking about running away from home lately! The only thing tying me down is Mr. Mortgage, and I'm thinking about breaking up with him! I want to be free to be happy and to enjoy those I care about.