Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Old School Sexy

Since I've Been Loving You by Led Zeppelin

Working from seven to eleven every night,
It really makes life a drag, I don't think that's right.
I've really been the best, the best of fools, I did what I could, yeah.
'Cause I love you, baby, How I love you, darling, How I love you, baby,
I'm in love with you, girl, little girl.
But baby, Since I've Been Loving You, yeah. I'm about to lose my worried mind, ah, yeah.

Everybody trying to tell me that you didn't mean me no good.
I've been trying, Lord, let me tell you, Let me tell you I really did the best I could.
I've been working from seven to eleven every night, I said It kinda makes my life a drag, drag, drag, drag..
Lord, yeah, that ain't right... no no
Since I've Been Loving You, I'm about to lose my worried mind.

Said I've been crying, yeah, oh my tears they fell like rain,
Don't you hear them, Don't you hear them falling,
Don't you hear them, Don't you hear them falling.

Do you remember mama, when I knocked upon your door?
I said you had the nerve to tell me you didn't want me no more, yeah
I open my front door, I hear my back door slam,
You know I must have one of them new fangled, new fangled back doors man.

I've been working from seven, seven, seven, to eleven every night and It kinda makes my life a drag...
a drag, drag, oh yeah it makes a drag.
Baby, Since I've Been Loving You, I'm about to lose, I'm about lose lose my worried mind.
Just One more, Just One more
Oh yeah, since I've Been Loving You, I'm gonna lose my worried mind.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Friends with Benefits?

Have you all gone to see this movie?? If not, run out and see it now! Not only is Justin Timberlake just ridiculously yummy, he and Mila Kunis are also ridiculously hilarious! Of course, it had a typical and predictable Hollywood ending. But all the stuff leading up to it will keep you laughing and even empathizing with the characters.

Needless to say, this movie also reminded me of a couple of "relationships" I've had. *cough* FWB...Stalker *cough* I'm sure neither of those will have that nice, tidy Hollywood ending at the end of two hours of laughs and one little touching visit home to the family.

So...what's been going on? Oh, a whole lot of nothing. I've returned to work as of last week, so it's back to my busy busy schedule. I will make it a point to make time to relieve stress and relax a little this school year.

Needy and I were supposed to meet up last Tuesday night, but I didn't hear from him until 9:30 that night. He had the nerve to ask if I still wanted to get together. He claimed that he had sent a text letting me know he had to attend his sister's last minute birthday dinner. I never received said text. I'm not saying he didn't send it...I'm just sayin'. So, he asked for another chance and if we could meet up that weekend. He called me Thursday morning around 10:00. I sent a text telling him that I couldn't talk, because I was in training. He replied with, "I was just saying hey! I was thinking about this weekend." I responded later that evening asking what he was thinking about the weekend. Saturday around 5:45 PM, I got a text from him saying, "Hey what are you up to? Want to catch a movie or something?" Um...way to wait until the last minute, buddy! By this time I was out with a girlfriend. I told him that I had made other plans since I hadn't heard back from him in two days. Since then, he has been blowing up my phone daily!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

It's a Hump Day Thing!

All Night Thing by Temple of the Dog

Anytime Chris Cornell opens his mouth to sing, things get sexy!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Sad Face

Ex-Coworker didn't make it to visit this past weekend, due to both of our schedules. He had to attend a wedding Saturday, so he wouldn't have gotten to my place until the wee hours of the morning Sunday. I had to get up and go to a Sunday lunch for my gay who is moving away this week. That was an all afternoon affair. Ex-Coworker and I decided it would be best if he plan a weekend just for us, so we can actually spend time together and talk to see what may be between us. When that weekend will be I'm not sure. Hopefully soon...

I got another bite on POF, but he doesn't seem real smart. He is a cutie though. We have spoken on the phone and sent texts over the last few days. We have yet to meet. When I mentioned meeting up tonight, he seemed bothered by the fact that I was only willing to give him a couple of hours. He called me "one of those". He said he doesn't understand the point of the "coffee date". He said that every women he met lately suggested that. I explained that the women wanted to just do a short meet and greet, so that they could get a feel for him without being stuck in a bad date all night. He then told me that if he can have a decent conversation on the phone with someone that he knew he would enjoy a "real date" with them. Needy much? Henceforth, he will be called "Needy".

Friday, July 15, 2011

Wish me luck...

So Ex-Coworker is due to arrive tomorrow night. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. Guess I'll figure that out when I actually lay eyes on him...heh, I doubt that's all I'll lay on him! Yeah, yeah, I have the humor of a 13 year old boy at times. Lucky him...he will get to hang with my gays for the going away lunch we are having. But we are doing dinner with a lovely couple Sunday night. I'm sure he will like that much better, since it will involve tequila and straight people. I don't think Ex-Coworker is homophobic or anything, but he is definitely a manly man. Thank goodness he is an open-minded one.

Still no word from FWB. I love how he is willing to make something work between us. Oh, and yeah, that was most definitely sarcasm. No word from Coach or Old Friend the last couple days. But I didn't really expect anymore than that. Stalker has become a texting buddy for the time being, I guess. That's about it in my world of dating!

Oh...last night the gays, the other hag, and I went to a special double feature of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parts 1 and 2. The theater showed Part 1 at 9:00 and Part 2 at midnight. I thought it was rather fun. It is so interesting to see all the people who show up, dressed as the characters for the movies. I saw some very creative ones. I just wish I'd had my camera with me!

Have a fantabulous weekend, Blogland!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Here an ex, there an ex, everywhere an ex

So I finally received a text from FWB yesterday. He told me that he was serious about wanting to actually pursue something more with me. Then, of course, he disappeared after a couple text exchanges. So there are still no answers. I won't believe crap from him until he actually acts on it. If he really wanted more, he would like maybe ask me out or something?! Silly little boys...

Ex-Coworker is scheduled to hit town in the next few days. Again, this is something I will believe when I see it. In the meantime, Old Friend continues to text. He has found yet another part-time gig where he currently lives. He says he has a few irons in the fire in my city. He hopes to be back here working and in school within the next couple of months. Again...silly little boys...

Yo, actions speak so much louder than words! Yeah, it's a cliche, but a very true one!

Sexy Song

Why not a sexy song from country music's sexiest couple?

Faith Hill & Tim McGraw - Lets make love by beni4ka

Monday, July 11, 2011

Sober again

Hey! I'm sober now!! And I'm thinking much more clearly! Not much went on during the weekend. I got a new tattoo. It's a big ass tatt on my back, and it still hurts like a bitch! I heard from Ex-Coworker. It was his birthday yesterday, and now he has decided he wants to visit me as a birthday gift to himself. So it looks like I may have a nice little dick-down coming my way. Can't have him around without doing all that...way too good to pass up!

Btw...I'm horny as all hell, but I'm afraid I've ruined the dick deliveries from Stalker. What the fuck was I thinking??

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Yep...I'm still drunk...

so here's a song...

One More Addiction by Natalie Imbruglia

First the good news
It's gonna feel very nice
Then the bad news
You gotta pay a heavy price
Rip tide. We slide we ride on a deep forbidden sea
Under we go - so slow
And you're hanging onto me
And I say

Oh Oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
Out of sight forever (From my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do

I reject you
But I can't follow through
I'd forget you
But you'd end up tappin' on my back door
Somehow I lost myself in a tunnel long and black
Somewhere. At the end, I pretend
There's a way of turning back

Oh Oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
Out of sight forever (From my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do

Take a breath
Let it out
All the things you frown about are meaningless,
ofcourse unless, you're doing this for real I guess
I meant to but
I don't know what
Is in the way and could I say
Its you I bet
I won't forget
Maybe I'm not ready yet

Oh Oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
Out of sight forever (From my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do.

Oh Oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
Out of sight forever (From my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do.

It's the only thing I know how to do.
It's the only thing I know how to do.
It's the only thing, the only thing that I
It's the only thing, the only thing that I
It's the only thing I know how to do.
It's the only thing, the only thing that I, know how to do.
'Cause I forget you.

I can't do this...

shit anymore. There I've said it. I took last year off from dating, thinking I just needed to take some time off. And now it's July...I've been open and willing to take chances for seven months now. I can't play the games and can't deal with the lies that go along with dating. I'm too honest, fragile, and lonely. There I said it. I'm tired of the disappointment after disappointment. I'm tired of the "excuses" and the bullshit and the baggage. Why can't people just say what's real? Do people even have respect for others anymore? Do they ever look deeper than the surface? Fuck it. I'm done with the whole process...I'll be the crazy fucking dog/cat lady who plays with her toys to get off. Humans don't seem to know how to connect anymore.

P.S. I'm drunk.

Effed up again!

As I've mentioned, I've allowed Stalker back into my life again. I told him and myself that I wouldn't get attached like I did last time. I do enjoy his company and the sex. We have a great time together no matter what we are doing. But intellectually I know that there is no future there. He won't allow it. Just as I said in my last post about the men from my past, they feel for me but won't allow anything deeper to progress past the casual.

Stalker came over for taco and margarita night last night. Before the main course, we had a little my bed. We followed the dinner with a little dessert of chocolate syrup and dick. Then we went for round three...yeah, round three!! Wow...just wow is all I can say! It's addictive. I woke up late today, still thinking about it, and that's probably because I could still feel it in my vagina. I wanted more. But I know it's illegal to keep a man as your sex slave.

I sent him an innocent enough text letting him know that he left his coupon books (don't ask) behind at my apartment. He asked if he could come by tonight and get them. Unfortunately, I'm meeting with the gays to plan a going away party for one who is moving away at the end of the month. So I suggested we go to a movie tomorrow night. Of course, he said he couldn't, because his weekends are "reserved for family time". I knew this, but for some reason it gets to me, and I continue to "test" him. I don't know why I do this to myself. It just brings back all the insecurities from two years ago when he was first in my life. I need to learn to relax and enjoy the moment. Instead, I started asking all these questions, which in turn, lead him to say I was getting "weird" and acting like we are a married couple. I told myself when he wanted back in my life that I wouldn't do this again...push for more than I know he can/will give. Part of it is that I'm jealous that he has family and I don't. It gets lonely when you're single and have no one to lean on.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Sexy Song for Hump Day!

Happy Hump Day!!

Say Yes by Floetry

see i been watchin you for a while
your smile and stuff
but i dont know if i can be wit you for tonight alright
is that alright baby, baby

[Verse 1]
There is only one for me
you have made that a possibility
we could take that step to see, um
if this is really gonna be,all ypu gotta do is say yes

all you gotta do is say yes
dont deny what you feel
let me undress you baby
open up your mind and just rest
i'm about to let you know you make me so
all you gotta do is say yes
dont deny waht you feel
let me undress you baby open up your mind and just rest i'm about to let you know
you make me so, so, so ,so ,so ,so,so,so
you make me so, so, so,so so, so ,so,so uh

[Verse 2]
loving you has taken time (taken time)
but i always knew you could be mine
i recognize the butterflies inside me tonight(tonight)
all you gotta do is say yes

[repeat chorus]

[ad lib to end]

Are Men Recyclable??

So the last couple days have been interesting...interesting indeed. Four men from my past have contacted me...via text of course. Because who is actually brave enough to dial a woman's number after screwing her over?!

First, there was Old Friend. I don't believe I've ever discussed him here before. He was a part of my life back in my 20's. We met online, then met in person, hated one another, had great sex once or twice, and have remained in contact on and off since then...yeah, for about 12 years. Old Friend has told me a couple times over the past few years that he believes that he and I are meant to be, but the timing has never been right. Yeah, I know...excuses, excuses. He currently lives about a 2 hour drive from where I live. This is all due to the fact that he has been unemployed. You see he has a journalism degree...not a good look in times of the world wide web. Anyone can be a journalist! So he has been working little part time gigs here and there but can't seem to find anything steady. He told me he has been expanding his search into other areas, and that he really wants to move back into my area. He also said once he has a steady job, he plans to be with me. Hmm...

FWB has been a Facebook friend all this time, so we have kept tabs on one another via Facebook stalking. We shot a couple messages back and forth over the weekend. In the end, I went off explaining to him about how he disappointed me and that I had wanted and expected so much more. It was therapeutic in a way. It may not have affected him much, but I think it helped me. Yesterday, FWB sent me a text asking if I still want more from him. I laughed and asked if he was offering. He said, "yes, are you accepting?" He then went on to tell me that he is currently at the beach but didn't bother to let me know when he would return. I'm not sure how to take this.

I awoke to a text from MatchMan this morning, telling me we need to talk and to call him when I woke up...duh...the text itself woke me! He wanted to explain to me why we were no longer friends on Facebook. He said his girlfriend had gotten in his account and deleted me. All I could say to this was, "Way to be a man and let your woman control you!" I won't deny that it hurt. I still and probably will always have a soft spot for MatchMan. We talked for a while and caught up. It was kind of awkward.

ThugPassion was a man I also knew in my 20's, long before this blog was ever born. He and I had a little fling...that lasted over several years. There was obvious chemistry but little maturity on either of our parts. Neither of us communicated well, and we both had walls around us that hot sex couldn't pull down. I learned a few years back that he had gotten married. Yesterday, I logged into my messenger (which I hadn't used since about 2007), and he was on there! We had a nice little conversation and got a little closure to our old situation. He admitted he always has a thing for me but could never let himself go and love me. This seems to be a trend with me? Why has been so difficult for the men in my past to let go and be with me...truly be with me?

Monday, July 4, 2011

More Pity Please?

So I was looking at my label list, which includes all the men I've mentioned in this blog. Of those men, most have moved on while I've been stuck in Singleland. Check out this list, alphabetically of course:*

Doc- He is now engaged to a woman who doesn't live too far from me. I'm not quite sure when the wedding will take place.

Ex-Coworker- He is now in a serious relationship.

FWB- Also in a relationship. I found out that he and his girlfriend had a baby who died at birth a little over a year ago.

KH- In a serious relationship...complete with cute little pics all over Facebook.

MatchMan- In a serious relationship...

PoPo- Serious relationship...possibly married

Teacher Man- He is engaged and the wedding is scheduled to take place in a couple weeks.

young coworker- Got married last November.

So there you have it...maybe it wasn't them, but me.

* Most of the below information was gained via Facebook stalking. Don't judge me!


So every holiday that rolls around reminds me how alone I truly am. I manage to stay busy with work during the school year, and the holidays during that time don't seem too bad. I can always use the excuse that I just wanted to relax. But it's summer now, and all I have is time. Today is the 4th of July...everyone is spending the day with family and friends and swimming and cooking out. Where am I? The same place as apartment. No one has invited me to anything. I know they forget, because they are all involved in family plans. People tend to forget that I don't have that. Oh, how I yearn for it.

This song popped up on my iPod while driving home from the store earlier, and it really hit home.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

To Coach or Not to Coach?

Coach finally called me yesterday afternoon. Of course, it took a goodbye text from me to get that. My text said, "I'm throwing in the towel. I've read He's Just Not That Into And obviously, you're not anymore!"

When he called, he tried to explain that he is indeed interested, but his schedule this summer was much worse and crazier than ever. He also explained that he is having a few financial difficulties, so he has been more stressed out than he has been in a while. He asked me if we could continue to talk and get to know one another. I'm not sure if this would be a waste of my time or not.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

PMS Blues

This week, the main staple of my diet has been ice cream, followed closely by Jack Daniels and wine. Healthy, right? I'm blaming it on my hormones. Stupid stupid PMS. I've been a sad excuse of a human this weekend...gluttonous I've been. Pity party all around! In addition, I'm coming off a dating high from last week.

Remember last week? It seems so long ago. Unlike last week, this week has been dateless, unless you count last Saturday when Stalker came over to watch a DVD and Tuesday when he came over for a little bon voyage nookie before he took off to LA for the rest of the week to visit his old college buddy. That is it...seems so boring (not that Stalker nookie is ever boring) after my whirlwind of dates last week.

As for Coach, still no phone call. On Monday, he sent a text telling me that I may expect a bit much from him right now. I was confused, because the last I'd heard is that he was planning to make more time for "us". So I asked him what he meant, as all I've asked of him is pressure for time. He then responded with "I guess you're right...sorry." When I asked what exactly he was sorry for, he said "not communicating more", to which I said, "There's only one way to correct that!" That was Wednesday. Fast forward to Friday morning, I sent a text telling him good morning in a last ditch effort. Four hours later, he finally responded with "Hey! I hope you are enjoying your down time." Brush off much?? I still tried to stay chipper and told him I was having a girls afternoon including pedis and a movie. *chirp...chirp* And then there was nothing...hint taken. I'm not exactly sure where this possible relationship went south. We were communicating daily for over a month, and our last date went well. Sigh...

In addition to my pity party, I noticed today that MatchMan had deleted me from his Facebook friends. I also noticed he is now in a relationship. I don't know why that bothered me, but it did. It isn't that I want him back, but maybe because it shows that he has moved forward in life, and I'm still spinning my wheels.