Saturday, September 6, 2008

Not So Sane

Maybe I'm not so sane, because I have been one depressed little lady lately. I hate my job, I'm broke, and I think the LD Man is no longer talking to me. It's crazy how we seemed to be getting closer and then suddenly....NOTHING. He hasn't called, even though he emailed me two days ago and told me he would. I opened up so much to him...more so than anyone in many years. I thought he liked me regardless of all my crazy sides! It hurts.

I know I'm making no sense, but my thoughts and emotions have been so jumbled the last week. I'm so sick of being alone, so I just sink further into depression. It's a vicious cycle. I need to snap out of it. I find it so hard to trust anyone anymore though.


Amy said...

With all that you've been through it's no wonder why you feel some insanity.
I'm still holding out hope that maybe LD man got held up with work. He sounded so very promising and I was soooo excited!!! I know I've been excited before...but I was REALLY excited about this guy!!! I'm getting reeeeaaaalll mad in there!!!!
When will my friend ever catch a break? When will she ever stop getting hurt? When will the right man, job, home come along?
I wish I had all the answers and I wish I could think of something sweet and clever to make you feel better, but I can't.
Call me if you want to talk...

The Angel and Demon Within said...

It's still possible that LD is recovering from the loss of his friend. Keep in contact with him (non-stalker contact)and let him know your around if he needs you.

You have a working plan on the moeny front. Things won't change overnight but getting started is often the hardest step.

Get online and look for jobs all over the world. You are young, free, and smart. It's your world to rule! I think you'd love it if you'd take a year to teach overseas. Teachers are still respected in most other countries. Education is thought of as a big deal and the students know how to act at school. It could be an extended vacation for you!

Your also always welcome to come and hide out in my cave with me!

CurvyGurl said...

Amy's right, these things will make you reach the brink. I've been there, still trying to work through ish so you're not alone. It takes time, prayer, tequila and other vices sometimes but I have no doubt you'll get the relief you need very soon. I'm here too, feel free to email me :).

Roxy said...

I'm sorry you're sick of being alone, but try to enjoy yourself in between men and have fun with you. Get to know yourself better and learn to depend on yourself.

As for LD Man, he lost a friend. It's probably not an easy time for him so I'm sure he's focusing on his grief.

Who says you can only date him anyways? Get out and meet a few more men. Date a few at a time (3 is my limit... sorta) so you don't pre-occupy yourself with just one guy. If you put all your eggs in one basket, you will most certainly feel this way when you're not getting attention.

So in the meantime, if you're not interested in meeting others, why not focus on finding a new job, a different career, talking to a professional (i love my therapist) anything to better yourself?

SaneAndSingle said...

Thanks everyone. You guys are right about the LD Man. I feel badly for even getting upset with him. I think I just got so used to talking to him. I know he is having a rough time with his loss.

Amy and Angel...y'all are my girls...I love you and thank you both for being there for me! I do have some wonderful friends. Both of you have so much going on in your lives now that I don't like to bother you with my junk.

Curvy...thanks so much and I'll just might take you up on that offer! me...I've been working on the career change, but moving out of my current field is difficult. I'm making the moves.

I'm just so tired of being "strong" you know how often I hear that crap? If only those people knew I cried at the end of every day when I come home to an empty house.

jo said...

oh babe i totally feel you. hang in there... i'm there for you... we need a support group or something haha!

~ said...

I know the feeling. You try to be good at being single then someone comes along and you get excited... and then they're just not interested. It is a massive let down.

My top tip is having *lots* of amazing hobbies so that when guys I'm dating don't call when they say they will, I hardly notice.
Then when they text me at 1am three weeks later "hey baby, what happened to you?" I have already deleted their number and moved on.

It *is* boring being strong but you will be strong... because you are even if you don't believe it.

(I quite like Greg Behrendt books about dating. They helped me and I HATE self-help books. Maybe see if your library has a copy?)

I promise things get better.

lisaq said...

It's not always easy. We all have our moments when we feel down and tired of it all. I'm having one myself at the moment. The good news is you can snap yourself out of it! Chin up girl! It really will all be okay!

Anonymous said...

as hard as it is being 'strong and single' it is a refreshing to know there are other ladies, wonderful ladies out there like ya'll that we can all relate to! i do understand coming home to an empty house & how lonely it can be...and the idea of getting excited about someone and *poof* they are gone, story of my life! we can do this though!

Tasida said...

People should read this.