Drowning....

Yep...I'm drowning! I'm barely keeping my head above water at work. This is why I haven't been around the last few weeks. I feel like I'm made of thin rubber, being stretched even thinner, and I just may break soon! Okay, okay...things aren't that bad, but it has been crazy.

I finally met the guy from Match a couple weeks ago. We went bowling. I figured that would be fun no matter if we found one another attractive. Yes, the bowling was fun. And no, he wasn't attractive. He may have been a few years ago when his profile pictures were taken. I was tricked, my friends! He claimed to be 41, but he looked closer to 51! And obviously, his pictures were not current! What is with that?? If you are going to join a dating site, why lie about who you really are? Eventually, the people with whom you communicate will find out!

Otherwise, I'm still dateless and sexless in 2010. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed...

You say it's your birthday...

Tomorrow is Valentines Day, but never mind that! Monday is my birthday! So that means a weekend of friends and fun! Tonight is dinner with my gay boys, tomorrow is brunch and a movie with a girlfriend, and Monday is an all girls' day all day! Don't know what we are going to do yet, but I'm sure we will have fun!

That is...if the freakin' weather will cooperate! The roads and parking lots are just sheets of ice! Remember, the South isn't equipped for all this mess! I hope the temps will get high enough to melt enough of it for me to get out of my apartment complex tonight.

In man news, I have rescheduled my postponed Match date from last weekend. We are meeting Tuesday for lunch, since I have a long weekend.

So every weekend of 2010 has been full of wild weather and/or sickness. I'm ready for some warmth and wellness! Still dateless and sexless in 2010...

Blasts from the Past

I apologize for my long absence again! I have done absolutely no dating until recently. And the recent dates have been recycled ones.

First, there was RM, whom I first met 12 years ago. Yeah, you read correctly....12 years ago. He has a habit of disappearing and reappearing every couple years. We met up for lunch a couple weeks ago. Lunch turned into margaritas. Margaritas turned into a movie. And a movie turned into making out on my couch! All in all, it was a nice day. For some reason though, since then we haven't been able to connect due to schedule conflicts (read "he has kids"). So yeah, that's where that stands. It's the same old tune it's been since I first met him.

Next, there is PoPo, the sexy cop. I've known him for about 5 years. He does the disappearing act like RM. PoPo and I went out with some friends of mine last Saturday. Large amounts of alcohol were consumed, and needless to say I remember very little about the last couple hours of the night. I do know he spent the night, and there was no damn nookie!! I curse Aunt Flow!!! So, yeah...I'm still sexless.

Thirdly, another man I met about 10 years ago has called me again. He says he would like to see me again and try to reconnect. We have been chatting occasionally for the last month or so, but we have yet to see one another again. He currently lives about 3 hours away. So again...we shall see...

And lastly, that damn FWB has resurfaced! No, I haven't seen him, but he continues to call. I continue to ignore.

More updates coming soon! I'm trying to get back in the writing mood.

Neglect

I know you all feel that I have been neglecting you, but I've really been neglecting myself. I haven't been on a date nor had a naughty episode since I frollicked with Hot Stuff. I've been going through some personal and financial changes, but I'll be up and dating again soon!

Spank Me, I've Been Naughty!

After moping around the house and cursing the LD Man and his disappearing act yesterday, a couple friends took me out to dinner so we could eat and drown my sorrows in Jack Daniels. While at the sports bar, my phone rang. Guess who??? Uh huh, the LD Man. I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone, as I had just begun to smile, laugh, and stop worrying about what happened. Like I told my friend, I would rather just not hear from him again, because it makes it easier to let go.

After we finished our meal, we just had to know what he had to say for himself. As I listened to his voicemail, my jaw dropped. According to his message, his brother was shot in Iraq, and he was calling me from his parents' house (which is a couple hours away from where he lives). He apologized and told me that he swears he will make it up to me. I don't know what to think, feel, or say. He tried to call again just as we were leaving the restaurant. I still couldn't bring myself to answer. I had a sexcapade to get to anyway.

Sexcapade you ask??? Well, as any woman would do in a time of crisis, I called my girlfriend earlier that day. During our conversation, she offered up the old cliche, "The best way to get over a man is to get under another one." All it took was one impulsive text message to the FWB and we had a plan for him to meet me back at my place later that night! *hangs head in shame* I'm not longer celibate. Please spank me, I've been a naughty naughty girl. And I liked it!

Kiss Me on My Neck

Um...yeah...this is what I want.

Erykah Badu immortalized my mood today with these lyrics:

I want somebody to walk up behind me
And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck

Been such a long time
I forgot that I was fine
Just kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck
I want somebody to walk up behind me
And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck

If you want to feel me
Better be divine
Bring me water, water for my mind
Give me nothin
Breathe love in my air
Don't abuse me
Cause these herbs are rare

If you want to feel me
Better be divine
Bring me water, water for my mind
Give me nothin
Breathe love in my air
Don't abuse me
Cause these herbs are rare

If you want too feel me baby
Better be divine
Bring me water for these flowers
Growing out my mind

Give me nothin' just be gentle
Breathe love in my air
Use me, don't abuse me, love me
Cause these herbs are rare

Ho hum...celibacy is a bitch!

Stress, Stress, and I Don't Care!

The meds the neurologist prescribed seem to be working! Yay! I'm sleeping better, and the headaches have been fewer! :) The first night I took the med for anxiety, I slept for almost 12 hours! I woke up long enough to call in sick to work, feed the cats, and go potty! I know...TMI. I spent most of the morning in bed, and it felt absolutely wonderful. I guess I was just tired from not sleeping well for so long.

Still no sex...would like sex. The meeting with the LD Man is quickly approaching. I wonder if he can make me break my vow.

My man...er...cat!

This is the only man that has been in my bed for MONTHS! Uh-huh, still celibate!

Actually, I just thought the picture was too cute not to share. I went upstairs one afternoon to find my man-cat lying in my bed just like a human man! Too funny not to snap a pic! Isn't he handsome? ;-)

Another Moment of Weakness

I made the mistake of listening to Jill Scott's song Crown Royal today! Ugh...that ish makes celibacy practically impossible!! Would it be sooo wrong for me to have just a little meaningless, gratuitous, horny, hot, steamy, and kinky sex??? Like Roxy said...it may just medicate my headaches!

I know Curvy Gurl knows it, but for those of you who don't know the song, check it out. I shouldn't be the only horny blogger!

Must have it....

Oh yeah, I'm still celibate, by the way! This crap is hard! I'm a highly sexual woman. Just when I thought I was getting used to going without, I woke up yesterday morning in heat! Yeah, I said it....IN HEAT! It was an animalistic need to feel something big, hard, and stiff deep inside me! At that point in time, I didn't care who the man attached to it might be. Alas, there was no man here to please me. Me being the independent woman that I am, I had to please my damn self! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck! I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I thought about calling up the FWB*!!! No worries, I didn't cave....only because my girlfriend and her husband came over to help me out with some home improvements. If I had been left alone, I just know that the dirty texting would have commenced. By the time my friends left, it was late, and I was too tired to think straight. But today, sex is on the brain again.

Pray to your spiritual idol for me...hell, send me a chastity belt and hold on to the key!

*If you are new to my blog, click on FWB in the sidebar in order to read all about that train wreck!

Updates on the FWB and the LD Man

Celibate I still am! Hooray me! The FWB continues to text me occasionally, asking when he can come get it! LOL I guess he feels that persistence will pay off. He also told me that he went by my old class room looking for me when he went back to work. I'm not sure how he missed that fact that I wasn't going back to that job. DOH!

The long distance man that I've been talking to is still hanging around. We still haven't made a plan for a meeting. Due to my job switch, money has been ugly! He actually offered to give me money to help out...not loan...but GIVE! Huh? I'm not sure how to take that. I've never had this happen, and I've never asked for money from anyone.

Hot Sex

I was just watching an old episode of Sex and The City. It's the one just after Carrie first cheated on Aiden with Big in the hotel. Her flashbacks to the act are soooo fucking hot! God, that's the kind of sex I want, no need!! That's want I'm holding out for. It's the animalistic, sweaty, got-to-have-you sex. It's been a long time since I've connected with a man like that. If you don't know the episode and scene I speak of, you need to brush up on your SATC.

But here's a little taste for ya!

I can do it!!!

I'm sticking to my guns! That's right...I STILL haven't had sex! It has been just over 2 months since I last had sex. I've gotten over the sex-craze hump, so to speak. I don't think about it nonstop anymore. As a matter of fact, I rarely think of it at all. Is that normal? I think it helps that I haven't really been dating either. I've been concentrating more on myself rather than trying to hook up with someone.

I have been talking to a man I met on a dating website almost 2 months ago though. We haven't met live and in person yet, due to the distance (about 500-600 miles!), but we do plan to eventually. Maybe it's my blossoming interest in getting to know him that has blocked my sexual appetite for anyone local. I never thought I would ever consider doing a long distance thing with ANYONE, but something is different about this guy. I can't really put my finger on it, but it is. Is that crazy?

The Third and Final Chapter of the FWB

After my drunken fit on the phone with the FWB, he told me he understood and that he would try harder, that he wanted to be there for me, and see what we could have together. Um...yeah. That lasted all of about 3 weeks.

He finally called me one night and told me that he didn't think he could give me what I wanted or deserved. He wasn't "in a place in life" to allow him to have a relationship. Um...yeah...think I had figured that out already!

We didn't talk too much and didn't see one another for a about a month. Then one day he sent me a text, saying hello and that he missed me. Ugh...I fell for it. Of course, he still couldn't handle a relationship. So there's the story of the FWB. We continued to have sensational sexual relations for the next 4-5 months. It went no where. It got old. I'm too old for this. I need more of a connection. He still says hi occasionally, hoping for some ass. *sigh* This is why I'm not trying on the celibacy thing for a fit.

I Get Weak...

It's late night/early morning. I'm lonely. Don't think this celibacy stint will last too long. My old FWB keeps trying to bring over some of that hot, steamy, nasty, slow-grinding sex he does oh-so-well! I'm trying to resist....really. But this man has one of the most beautiful dicks I've ever seen, in real life or in porn! Not only is it gorgeous, but wow! he knows how to use it! I can't stop imagining my legs wrapped around his waist...or neck...Uh huh, you gotta lick it before you stick it*....my back arched.......

Ok, I'm going to bed. Alone. Again.

*I'll give you a cookie if you actually know that song!

Wish me Luck...

So I've decided that I need to clear my head. I'm taking this class that is soon to end...thank God!! I'm also looking for a job (ahem...so if you know anybody in the legal field, get at me!). These two things have kept me in a haze.

I want sex....but I don't want sex with just anybody. And there is nobody in my life that isn't just anybody. You following me? I'm thinking I need a real connection with someone. It's been too long. I'm lonely. I'm horny.

So yeah, I'm thinking I'm entering into a self-imposed celibacy phase. Yeah, it doesn't have to make sense, even though it does to me.