Saturday, December 13, 2008

No Girlfriend??

The young coworker and I were talking at work earlier this week, and he told me that he is having another gathering at his home this weekend. One of his friends is graduating from grad school, and they want to celebrate. He asked me to attend. He then said, "And the best part is, (insert girlfriend's name here) is going out with some of her friends, so she won't be there." Um....ok... I responded with, "So you are asking me to come and hang out with the guys?" He said, "Yep, pretty much!" Um...ok again. I then began asking him if he had invited some of our other coworkers, because he usually does. He said he didn't think they would come, so he isn't going to ask them. Hmmm....I'm not really sure what to think of this situation. The invitation is for tonight, and I'm not real sure if I want to go. He asked me again yesterday at work. I told him that I was still undecided. What do you all think?

16 comments:

complicated v said...

see if something better comes up, if not - i'd go.

Non Sequitur Chica said...

That is weird. Seriously. I wouldn't go because why is he only inviting you when his girlfriend isn't there? That just smacks of weird.

Ecrivian said...

Yup. We're sort of in the same situation.

Me? I'd go...but it does beg the question of, "If he didn't have a girlfriend, would this be something?"

Does he see you as "one of the guys" or is something brewing there? (Rhetorical questions...trust me. I'm in the same boat as you, so I know you won't have the answer to those questions and you're probably mulling them over in your head already.)


On the one hand, you have to wonder if it's safer to stay away until there's definitely nobody else in the picture...if there's the potential for something to happen, that is. 'Cause, if you've gotten to that point where you're sort of looking at him like he's someone with potential, it can get into a dangerous grey area where you might just be setting yourself up for complicated pain down the road.

On the other hand, I know what it's like to be at that point where you're intrigued and you need to find out what's going on...and the only way of finding out more is being around him more.

Definitely intrigued with what you decide, 'cause we're actually rowing parallel to each other in the same type of boat.

SaneAndSingle said...

complicated v- Something better did come up! The opportunity to sit on my couch, watching cheesy holiday movies and reading my book in my pj's! I've decided to just relax tonight. I've been sick all week, and I need it. I went out last night with a girlfriend...more about that later.

Chica- He doesn't only invite me when his girlfriend isn't there. We hung out on several occasions with her around. I just found it odd that he made a point to tell me that she wouldn't be there and that it looked as if I was the only woman he was inviting.

Ecrivain- Sometimes I do wonder if he just thinks of me as one of the guys, then at others, I'm sure that he doesn't. He has made little comments to let me know that he thinks I'm an attractive woman. He know that he can be himself around me, and I don't judge him...I laugh at his sarcasm and even battle wits with him at times.

CurvyGurl said...

Interesting...I'd be curious to know why he made a point of mentioning that too. Did he say it in a "hint, hint" tone or just casually? I have a feeling you're giving him something he doesn't get from his girlfriend. I'm slowly figuring out that men are kinda simple...ego strokin' is something they really dig.

Either way, I think you should consider going. Do it for the love of the blog! Just kidding :-)!

Sizzle said...

The one thing I would be asking myself...what if I was in the girlfriends shoes? From what I read, to me it sounds dishonest. And if there is one thing that I personally can't stand, is a dishonest man. If he is doing her that way, he would do the same to you...

SaneAndSingle said...

I agree with you, Sizzle. That is one reason I didn't go. I wasn't comfortable with the way it was presented to me.

I have also voiced my opinion to him about the way he speaks about her and to her. And he has admitted he is an ass to her and that they have had their problems. They have been together since they were 15, and I think it's a matter of growing apart. Neither of them seem ready to let go either though.

SaneAndSingle said...

Curvy- He said it really casually...not in dirty weird way at all.

lisaq said...

I think not going was the right choice. I think dude laying the groundwork for a little something, something especially since he doesn't seem inclined to end it with the g/f even though it sounds like he should.

complicated v said...

i love lazy nights on the couch - good call. i have my crockpot cookin' right now and am watching some football, maybe a holiday movie, and then reading. love it.

jo said...

frankly i'm not sure what to think bout this either. he invites you to hang out with the guys... does this mean he thinks of you as one of the guys? but he also invited you when his gf isn't there... so does that mean he hopes something might happen with you guys? it's complicated. but do let us know if you do go... who knows? might be fun!

Dimplz said...

Did you finish your "Twilight" series?

Elusive Butterfly said...

I'm glad you didn't go. I think it shows good judgment. I mean, if you were in the girlfriend's shoes, there is really only one way to see this, isn't there? He has his cake and wants yours too!

Scotty said...

Sounds like a great opportunity to create some drama, if you're into that.

Amy said...

Sorry this is late. I just wanted to tell you how proud I am that you didn't go for the sake of everyone, but mostly yourself. You always stay true to who you are. I know sometimes temptation gets the best of us. Especially on those days where we have to choose between one of our addictions like sex, chocolate, alcohol or some yummy food...or all of the above!!! Although I will say part of me wanted to hear some good, juicy co-worker gossip. You know, a little beer, good music and a stolen kiss or two!!! Bow Chicka Wow Wow!!!

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

Hmm....I was thinking you were going to post that you went, it was weird, so then you found an excuse to leave. I think you chose correctly.