Sunday, September 21, 2008

One Is The Loneliest Number


One of my coworkers had a little soiree at his place last night. I did attend. When I first arrived, I knew no one. Oh, I forgot to mention that this guy is a FULL DECADE younger than I am. He invited many of his personal friends along with several of our coworkers. I figured most of his friends would be around his age. Since I knew my coworkers would be there, I wasn't sweating the age thing.

When I first arrived, it was just the young coworker, his friends, and their girlfriends. Ugh....really?? So even the youngins have coupled up? My coworker, who is 10 years my junior, already owns a lovely home with his girlfriend. So I sat and watched the young guys play Rockband while their girlfriends chatted with one another and looked at the latest IKEA catalog. A little part of me was uncomfortable because I knew absolutely no one there except my coworker. Another part of me was jealous that these people 10 years younger than I am had found "the one". While yet another small part of me was relieved that I hadn't spent the last ten years chatting with boring little girls while my man played video games with his buddies. I mean these girls took no part in any of the guys' interests. The guys also played a game called Cornhole, a beanbag toss game which has rules that I'm not sure about. Of course, the girlfriends took no part in it. Why be with someone if you have NONE of the same interests? The girls and the guys seemed to have absolutely nothing in common! I don't understand...maybe that's why I'm single. I want to share interests with my significant other.

Then it was time to watch football! I was all down for that! I'm a huge college football fan. Apparently, these young girls did not share that interest with me. During the game, they got bored and went into the bedroom to watch Made of Honor! How stereotypically girly! LOL So I was left with the "men", watching football. Oh yeah, a couple of my coworkers finally arrived about 3 hours after I did!! *Sigh of relief* But wait!! Their husbands were with them!! I can't catch a break! I was still the ONLY single person in sight! At a party of many, many people of varying ages!

But really, if being a part of a couple means I have to pretend not to have my interests or to be interested in ONLY things he wants to do, I don't think I can do it.

22 comments:

Amy said...

I know you feel bad about being the lone gummy bear but least it was a grownups party with booze instead of kiddy party...those hurt the worst! Nothing more sad than a husband and wifey hoopla with their offspring running around. I empathize with you and your pain. I still wish I could find the perfect man for you. Just don't give up, ok?

Not that this will bring you any clarity, but Shane said he didn't understand why you were single either?!?! He said "she's smart, funny, pretty, has a good job, owns her home and car, likes football, beer, sex...it just doesn't make sense."

nevergoingbackagain said...

i am so with you Curvy Gurl! I went to a party last weekend and found myself hanging out, watching the game and drinking while all the wives/girlfriends chatted about their rings or the cupcakes they made! I dont ever want to be that girl...

nevergoingbackagain said...

eeek...i just realized i called you "curvy gurl", please please forgive me! i had read her blog right before yours....ooh that was horrible, but i knew i was reading your blog and not hers! :( (if you want to edit that out, that'd be fine by me!)

SaneAndSingle said...

amy...I know you understand how I feel. I guess things happen the way they are meant to happen!

Nevergoingback....I'm not offended by being called Curvy Gurl! She's a cool chica, and I'm pretty curvy myself! LOL We all make mistakes!

lisaq said...

First off all, shame on those little girls!

Secondly, ugh! That's so icky! I hate it! Sometimes single just sucks.

Anomylous said...

Love the gummy bears pic. That's like every wedding I've ever been to.

Ecrivain said...

Do you ever feel that...now that we're older, we're even less willing to settle? I mean, I look at my sister and her friends and I think, "There's no way in hell I'd put up with that."

I wonder if being more "picky" just gets in the way of being with someone...and if you have to settle...then that's not really love, is it?

Ah...questions, questions, questions.

BTW -- posted some pics of the trip up especially for you.

Roxy said...

ugh.. i am so sorry.

SaneAndSingle said...

Lisa- I think the only time I really really feel being single sucks is when I'm the lone single person at a gathering. It seems to happen to me more and more too!

anomylous- The gummy bears pic made me think of weddings too! Why is it that everyone says weddings are a great place to meet someone? Every wedding I've been to has been over-flowing with couples! I've never met a single man at one.

ecrivain- I think you are exactly right with your thought process. I would never sit and be bored like those girls were. I would have found something else to do and met up with my man later! Again, could be part of the reason I'm single!

Roxy- thanks for understanding! LOL

Anomylous said...

i met a few guys at some weddings that i went to right after i graduated college, and by met, i mean, just like made out with woohoo. but the weddings i go to now, it's usually all couples because everyone has paired up by now. the only people left are like the bald fat uncles...eehhh shudder.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Hey Curvy Girl. You know, this might sound funny, but it sounds like you accidentally fell into a cluster of people who grew up in two parent households where the men typically do their thing separately from the ladies at house parties.

The next time you get in this kind of jam, try hanging out with the girls even if you love football. Seriously. If you hit it off with one of them, she may have a nice older brother or cousin that she can hook you up with. Ya never know, ya know?

I'm laughing too at this thought: if you sold a line of sexy lingerie on the side to small groups, they might be interested in that. Keep a bag of that stuff in your trunk and you might at least go home with some money in your pocket... lol, why didn't I think of this sort of stuff when I was in my 30s?

SaneAndSingle said...

KIT-OMG!! I'm NOT Curvy Gurl!! LOL You are the second person to comment on this post and call me Curvy Gurl. What's up with that?

Haha! I like the lingerie idea though! Although, I'm not so sure those girls would loosen up enough to get into that!

jo said...

first of all that gummy bears pic is freaking cute!

but of 'coz loneliness so isn't cute...

i never quite got it either how it seems like the girlfrieds and boyfriends don't have shared interests. though i suppose in way it's nice that even if you're not interested in the activity, you'd go there just to be with your partner. i would like some shared interests with my guy. and while i do love to watch girly chick flick movies, i love to watch sports as well. maybe i'm viewed as "one of the guys", but that's another problem.

and yeah i feel you for being the lone single in a room full of couples. i once "dated" an ex-classmate who then wound up marrying our classmate. so all of us closer classmates were seated at a table during his wedding and everyone was coupled. it was seriously weird for me. if going to his wedding wasn't "weird" enough. and you can imagine how weird i feel during the reunion as well. with all the talk bout marriage and kids and more kids. pass me more wine please.

paisana said...

Man, that's the part I don't like about dating: watching football. OK, well, watching is kind of a relative term, seeing as how I generally put "Burn Notice" on my computer and my earphones in while he watches football, but still.

Thanks for the drop-by.

The Angel and Demon Within said...

Hey, I think Kit may have hit on something. Keep a bag of "toys" in your trunk. What a great way to get the boys and girls to start talking! You know the guys would love to buy some of them for their girls. You end up having fun getting them all to talk about the same thing, sex (my favorite subject), and best of all you make money which makes Mr. Checking happy.

Being older does make people more in tune with what they want and they aren't as likely as to put up with just anyone. 90% of those young couples will not be together in five years but they will have a brood of kids and tons of bills. Nothing for you to feel you missed out on.

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

Well there is one thing worse, being the single one at party when you actually have a husband. *lol* I did that for years but I actually never minded it I had to go to plenty of party solo because of the nature of his work. Anyway, even now my girlfriends like to kick it with people that can kick it with all of us. Although I don’t find the separation thing a big deal, I have never been one for being up under my man all the time or vice versa. I’m a SPACE kind of girl. Sure there are things to have in common but its always been cool for each of us to still have our OWN things. Oh well, sorry you were so cognizant of your singleness in the room.

I think its the color change of your blog that might be confusine everyone.

-OG

sdr said...

You know, I was at a friend's back yard cookout this summer where there were all couples and I was the only single one. Somehow all the boys migrated to one part of the yard and started playing some yard game (not sure what it's called) and I was getting bored out of my skull stuck with the girls talking about their kids and other boring subjects. So, I just left and went a played the game with the boys! I guess I'm more the type of girl who likes to hang with the boys and I often find "typical" girls to be incredibly banal and boring.

I also get annoyed when people 10 years younger than me seem to have found someone and I still can't at 31! But, I am willing to wait if it means I'll find an incredible relationship. I just hope I don't have to wait too much longer :).

CurvyGurl said...

Ahem...excuse me, CurvyGurl...rofl!

I think the party was a reminder of how single-focused you can be in your 20s. I agree with ya, I'm too old to fake it, we have to have more than one common interest.

SaneAndSingle said...

Curvy Gurl! You are lucky I luv ya, or else I might start to get offended! LOL

I think OG is right...it's the change of the background color.

Jo- I did drown my sorrows in alcohol!

Paisana- Thank you for coming by! I dig your blog!

Angel- I think these girls would have blushed crimson if I even brought up sex!

OG- I'm also a space kind of girl...one of the reasons I haven't settled yet. But these guys and girls seemed so mismatched...guess it's a "you had to be there" thing!

sdr- Yeah, I hung with the guys too. It seems to have always been that way for me.

princessdominique said...

I have to ditto the booze comment. With booze at least you can laugh, joke and pass the time.

Elusive Butterfly said...

Hi, I just found you through CBS and I'm going to visit Curvy Girl next!

I am so done with my 20s. I think I was a sheep for most of them. I spent 7 years of my 20s with my X and was freakin' miserable. Now, I'm fabulous because I'm single. I mean, being single, I have no choice to be independent and do the things I love to do and it turns out I'm pretty cool. Nowadays, if I'm the only halfway intelligent single girl in the group of couples, I leave after an hour or so. And I've never met a dateable man at a wedding either. It's a romantic fallacy.

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

I know the feeling. Most of the people I know are coupled up (either married, engaged, or seriously dating). I'm tired of seeing other people who seem to not have as much going for them coupled and happy, and me not so much. ARG!