Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Sexy Song of the Week

Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin!!!!! Me love all things Zeppelin. I'm giving ya the studio version and a live version. Enjoy!!!!

Oh, and if you don't know who Led Zeppelin is, shame on you! You betta get out there and edumacate yourself!





You need coolin', baby, I'm not foolin'
I'm gonna send ya back to schoolin'
Way down inside, a-honey, you need it
I'm gonna give you my love
I'm gonna give you my love, oh

Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love

You've been learnin'
And baby, I been learnin'
All them good times
Baby, baby, I've been discernin'-a
A-way, way down inside
A-honey, you need-a
I'm gonna give you my love, ah
I'm gonna give you my love, ah

Oh, whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
I don't want more

You've got to bleed on me, yeah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ha, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
ah, ah, ah, ah, ha, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
No, no, no, no, ah
Love, love, low-ow-ow-ow-ove
Oh, babe, oh

You been coolin'
And baby, I've been droolin'
All the good times, baby, I've been misusin'-a/Oh
A-way, way down inside
I'm gonna give ya my love/Ah
I'm gonna give ya every inch of my love/Ah
I'm gonna give you my love/Ah
Yes, alright, let's go/Ah

Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love

Way down inside/ Way down inside
Way downinside, woman, you/woman
woman, you/you need it
need/Love

My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my/Ahh
Oh, shake for me, girl
I wanna be your backdoor man-a
Hey, oh, hey, oh/Ahh
Hey, oh, oooh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Hoo-ma, ma, hey
Keep a-coolin', baby
A-keep a-coolin', baby
A-keep a-coolin', baby
Uh, keep a-coolin', baby, wuh, way-hoh, oo-ohh

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Girls Night Out or Date Night?

Next time you hear (read) me say I'm having a girls night out, remind me that Jack Daniels is NOT one of the girls! I do believe I was on a date with him and my girlfriend was the third wheel. I hope she had fun...I know I did! But my ass will be planted on this couch today for quite some time due to my date with Jack!

Unfortunately there were waaay more women out last night than men. I guess we should have known that when the place advertised that all ladies get in free and get free drinks until midnight. Much to my distaste, those free drinks were some little fruity concoction I didn't care for. So Sane paid for her man Jack.

I did meet a real man there. He is actually close to my age, actually older than I am. Too bad he is just in town visiting family for the holidays. He lives in a state far far away! Hell, by the time we started talking I was too damn drunk to care. We had a dance and exchanged phone numbers before he left with his friends. He called and texted last night, both of which I was too passed out to notice.

Okay, I'm going back to keeping my couch warm and letting the TV watch me sleep.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Girls Night Out

I just sent Teacher Man a text that said, "I was thinking about your offer to bring over a movie tonight, and I think I'll wait until you can take me on a real date."

I'm going out with a girlfriend instead. I'm tired of little boys and the games they play.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas Wrap-Up


Tuesday night Stalker sent me a text that began short little conversation.

Stalker: Would you like your gift tonight?
Me: Tomorrow would be better. I'm not well tonight. In serious pain.
Stalker: :-( need anything?
Me: Just rest and ice. Can't walk.
Stalker: Gasp! Oh no :-( Do you need a wheelchair?
Me: Possibly. Just bring the gift tomorrow evening after you get off. I will let you get the cat litter out of my trunk too!
Stalker: K. So you good for tonight?
Me: Yeah. (My gay bf) fed me. Just gonna lie down. Exhausted.
Stalker: Okie doke


Funny how he appears and wants to be helpful the day AFTER the big move, huh?

Stalker came over Wednesday evening when he got off from work, bearing one wrapped gift. He had told me last week that there would be more than one. Being the greedy little girl that I am, I asked about the others. He said there were more to come, but they would have to be house-warming gifts. He lost too much money while off gambling over the weekend, while I was moving and letting my body fall apart! Yeah, not only did he get out of manual labor, but I got less gifts due to this trip. Anyway, this is what he gave me for Christmas. Not bad, but not very personal either. One of The Queens got me two bottles of wine with which I can try this out. Too bad I still can't drink them, since Stalker has yet to replace my wine opener and/or topper! That is another expense I'll have to take on myself.

When I didn't open my gift right away, Stalker joked and said, "Aren't you going to open your engagement ring?" Haha. Funny, right? Yeah, not really. He offered to go back to his office and get the sports ice pack he left in the freezer there, so I could use it on my still aching knee. Of course, I let him do it. I also let him stop and get some food to bring back for dinner. When he returned, he was super attentive and nurturing. He wrapped my leg in the ice pack, asked me if I wanted him to get out a suitcase for my trip to see my family, and even asked me if he needed to take my car and gas it up for me. All my suitcases still had clothes in them from the move and I had filled up my car earlier that day. Funny how he is such an inconsistently available and helpful friend. I guess he is there for me whenever it fits into his schedule. I haven't heard from him again since he left. Can you imagine that?!

Teacher Man and I didn't make our lunch Wednesday. I'm not really sure what happened. I just know that he finally texted me long after I ate lunch. And no, I didn't have an early lunch; I just didn't hear from him until around 3:30 PM. I ate at 1:30 after I got my Christmas haircut. He sent me another text last night to let me know that he would be back in town Monday. He asked if he should bring over a movie and pick up some food. What is the deal? Why don't men actually ask women to go out anymore?

And the trip home. Well, it was...pleasant. That's because the drama inducing aunt decided not to come because she was still angry with her sister. Really, I'm not too sure what the deal is with them, and I try to keep it that way. All I know is Santa was incredibly nice to me this year. I must have been a good little girl. Some highlights were this and this! I also racked up some gift cards to Starbucks and Barnes and Noble. All in all, it was a good Christmas for a not so religious girl with a dysfunctional family.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Sexy Song of the Week

Since it's the holidays...

Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt



Dick In a Box by Justin Timberlake

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I'm in!

The move is completed. Teacher Man and one of The Queens came over to help out a little. Teacher Man woke to his own problems yesterday morning...a leaky ceiling. So he wasn't able to stay too long. He called last night to see how the rest of the move went (the movers were here when he came over), and we decided that we might meet up for lunch tomorrow before both of us go out of town for the holidays.

As for the move, the movers were over-priced and didn't even move everything! Ugh...I was running up and down the stairs moving leftover odds and ins all freaking day yesterday. I didn't sit down from 6:00 AM to 9:00 PM!! Oh, how my body aches!! I tried to do a little Christmas shopping this morning and managed to get a few things for the family before I couldn't take the pain in my knees any longer! I'm on the sofa resting my achy bones...ok, really my knee.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Move has begun...

I'm sitting here with ice on my big fat knee. I don't know what I've done to it, but it seems that I have developed tendinitis in my right knee. Right in the middle of my move. I managed to get my hanging clothes and other odds and ends over to the new place yesterday. But I can do no more. The stairs are killing my knee. My old friend, Teacher Man, came over last night to help out a little, and then we watched The Hangover. Funniest. Movie. Ever! Teacher Man is also going to help me move my television tomorrow when the movers come. Why, you ask? Because the movers charge an extra $50 to move large flat screen TV's. What a pain in the ass. Damn damn damn, don't know how many trips up and down those stairs my knee can take!

Anyway, Teacher Man is an acquaintance I've had for a while. We have only hung out a few times, but we managed to keep in contact occasionally. Until last night, I hadn't seen him in about a year. For some reason, I'd never found Teacher Man all that attractive. Don't get me wrong, he is a nice looking guy. I just never felt that spark. Since I last saw him, something has changed. Maybe I've changed or maybe he has, but suddenly he became a little more appealing to me.

Later today, I have to meet up with my gay boyfriend and the queens for a Christmas dinner and gift exchange. That should be a nice break from moving. Did I mention I still haven't gotten any gifts for the family? Can we say last minute gift cards?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Old Man Sweater


I met E-Harmony guy for lunch this past Sunday. He definitely did not impress me. I know I'm closer to 40 than I am to 30 now, but I generally am not attracted to men in their mid to late 40's. This guy's profile claimed that he is 45, but he looked and acted more like 55. Ugh. He was wearing an old man sweater over his pregnant belly. You know...those sweaters from the 80's with geometrical shapes all over it? Yeah...not sexy at all...and to top it all off with a pregnant belly. Yeah, you know those bellies men of a certain age develop that are hard? And they have no fat anywhere else on their bodies? Again...not sexy. So I had a nice, polite, FREE lunch Sunday. I think he knew I was disappointed, because I ended the date early and haven't heard from him since. There is a new guy I was matched with this week who looks a little more interesting. I'll keep you updated.

Sunday morning I took an EPT. I haven't mentioned this in the blog, but Stalker was convinced that he had impregnated me! He kept on about babies and superstitious ideas about men sleeping a lot when they have gotten a woman pregnant. He said he had been coming home from work and crashing only to wake up in time for work the next day. I've never heard this, but he was starting to creep me out. I decided to take a test, just to be safe. It was negative (whew!), so I texted him to let him know. This was our first contact since he left my apartment the Sunday before. You know, the Sunday he told me he would be out of town when I move? The text read a little something like this:

According to ept I'm not pregnant with your bastard child. So you don't have to worry about folks finding out about your whore on the side that way anymore.

His response?

Cool. Did you need me to have people come help you next weekend?

I won't bore with the actual details of the rest of the text convo. I'll just tell you that he doesn't understand why he is the "bad guy" in all this. He said that he offered me manpower but I refused. He couldn't understand that I didn't feel comfortable accepting help from some random strangers when he was the one who had offered to do it. He just told me that he thought I was expecting sooo much from him that I was getting hurt by my own expectations. Um, since when is expecting a friend to lend a hand when he offered expecting too much??? But really??? If I can't depend on him to show up to help out, how the hell can I depend on whatever strangers he would send to help?? And how embarrassing would that be? I just told him that I'd already hired movers, and he is more than welcome to help pay! Stalker then said he would help and asked if I would pay him back! When I told I didn't realize that he was offering a loan, he said if I needed a loan or just money not to pay back, let him know. Ugh.

So Monday and Tuesday went by without a word from Stalker. Well, Tuesday night around 10:15, I received a text from him:

Stalker: I have Xmas gifts for you...
Me: It isn't Xmas.
Stalker: In ten days...
Me: Yeah I'm aware. Thank you in advance?
Stalker: When would you like them?

As I was typing a response, he called me. We chatted about my busy week at work like nothing had ever happened. I was already in the bed and let him know this. He then said, "I guess it wouldn't be a good idea for me to stop by then?" I told him no and that I'd talk to him later. Um...I really don't know what to say about it. Guess I'll get those gifts when he returns from his trip with his sister. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention she is the reason he has to go out of town this weekend? She wanted to go with him, and that was the only weekend she could make the trip. Um...yeah.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Still breathing...barely

My, this past week has flown by. Work has been super busy (yay for standardized testing...not!). I've been trying to get ready for the move. I couldn't book the movers for next Saturday (the original move date), because they cost twice as much on the weekends. So they are coming first thing on Monday (12/21) morning. I'm going to move as much as possible in my car and my friend's husband's truck during the weekend though, because I also have to turn the keys to my current apartment in on Monday. Thanks to Stalker, I'm out almost $400 and will be busting my ass until the last minute. But anyhoo...speaking of assholes, he and I haven't spoken since he left my place after telling me he was going out of town instead of helping me move. Yeah, he offered to move me...I didn't ask. Talking about a let-down. He tried to hug me before he left last Sunday. I told him not to touch me. Oddly, it's been easier to stop speaking to him than I thought. That's probably because he not only disappointed me as a man, but as a friend. I really just want to tell him that he is a stupid and selfish LITTLE BOY! A grown man wouldn't have handled this situation by avoidance.

Hopefully, the E-Harmony guy and I will finally meet tomorrow. We have played phone tag all week and finally actually spoke last night. It was, um...awkward. He seemed preoccupied with something else, although he is the one who called me. We shall see...

MatchMan called last night also. I didn't answer. Ex-Coworker continues to text. Don't you love how they all keep coming back?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Sexy Song of The Week

Yeah, I guess I shoulda titled this Sexy SONGS of the Week! I keep getting carried away!

Patience by Guns N Roses:



(1..2...1,2,3,4)
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah

Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it

...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah,
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... (ence, yeah)
I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah)
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you (Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me....

Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson



Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Meet Me Halfway by Black Eyed Peas



I can't go any further then this
I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish

Cool,
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day yes, I'm really missin' missin' you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl, what's up, it use to used to be just me and you
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day, yes I'm really missin missin you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl what's up, yo what's up, what's up, what's up

Can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Girl, I travel round the world and even sail the seven seas
Across the universe I go to other galaxies
Just tell me where to go, just tell me where you wanna meet
I navigate myself myself to take me where you be
Cause girl I want, I, I, I want you right now
I travel uptown (town) I travel downtown
Wanna have you around (round) like every single day
I love you alway... way
(I'll meet you halfway

Can you meet me half way)
Right at the borderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Let's walk the bridge, to the other side
Just you and I (just you and I)
I will fly, fly the skies, for you and I (for you and I)
I will try, until I die, for you and I, for you and I, for for for you and I,
For for for you and I, for for you and I, for you and I

Can you meet me half way
Can you meet me half way
Can you meet me half way
Can you meet me half way

Meet me half way, right at the borderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish



And for the just plain NASTY!!

Play by David Banner



Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Work that clit
Cum girl

Finger fuck your pussy like you want some, girl
Work it like a nigga straight licking on your pearl
I wanna see you cum in the middle of the dance floor
A nigga can't fuck, what you think your finger made for
I'ma beat that pussy up
You get it wet enough, I might lick it up
Lickey, lickey, lickey, like a peppermint swirl
Lick that clit
Cum girl
Uh, I wanna see your legs shake
Take you to the crib, we can fuck til the bed break
Uh, fuck you til your pussy ache
Think about the type right now, girl, mastur
(Uh uh) bate for a nigga, freak you in the clubs
stop worrying about them other hoes
It's me in your world
Work that clit
Cum girl

Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Work that clit
Cum girl

Cum when you're feeling good, lick it all off
Catch it in your mouth, like your last name Moss
Play with the nitty girl, stick it on in
I'm feeling real freaky girl, bring your friends
I can make 'em bounce like 1, 2, 3
It ain't nothin' to a pimp, girl, play with the g-spot
Make it hot, gon on, get your girl, Sheryl
Bring your clique
Cum girl
And I'ma make 'em all cum
Beat it like Mr. Calipark on the drum
I'ma beat it like Mike when he fucked Billie Jean
Work it, work it, work it, til you make that pussy cream
Move it to the right, move your finger to the left
Work it all around til your ass outta breath
I ain't tripping on ya baby, put some dick in your world
Work that clit
Cum girl

Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Work that clit
Cum girl

Bend it on over, lemme see it from the back
Work your thumb in it girl, I love it like that
Freaky ass hoes, lil freaky ass men
Lemme work ya slow, lemme see it going in
Then you pull it out, put your fingers in your mouth
You make a nigga wanna fuck your ass on the couch
While we're still in the club, show your pussy love
Work that clit
Cum girl
Go on and hit the dance floor
Open up wide, lemme show you what's it made for
Uh, like a finger, like a donkey
Lemme see you play, play with your monkey
Damn, cause your ass so chunky
Bring it here, sweaty, cause I love it when it's funky
I'ma put some dick in your world
Work that clit
Cum girl

Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Work that clit
Cum girl

Work that clit
Cum girl

Sunday, December 6, 2009

It has been confirmed...

that Stalker is truly an asshole! Remember how he told me that he and his brother would move me? The move that is scheduled for two weeks from now? Well, tonight when he came by to get his Wii that I picked up for him, he informed me (quite casually) that he would be out of town that weekend. Bet we can all guess where he will be and with whom he will be. Guess we can't even be friends, because I would never leave a friend hanging like that so close to the big day...

It just amazes me that someone who seemed so kind and giving and positive turned out to be such a cold uncaring soul.

So now I have the pleasure of coming up with money to pay movers a few days before Christmas. Fanfuckingtabulous...

Sick...Again...

Yesterday went pretty much according to plan. While I was at the football party, my head began to ache though. It just continued to get worse, so I came home earlier than I'd planned. My face was aching and my head felt heavy. Sinus sufferers should recognize this pain as the onset of a sinus infection. I had been texting with Stalker occasionally since our little dinner date Thursday. I told him he could come over last night and help me pack. He somehow ended up at a party of his own, so he was out much later than I was. He still came by. I was in bed, and he just joined me. I do believe he was a little drunk, because he wasn't conscious very long! That was fine. I felt like shit anyway. Unfortunately, I woke up horny this morning and practically forced Stalker to give me some. Again, we messed up the friend vow! Oh well.

Needless to say, I didn't get up in time to make it to the new church. Once Stalker left, I hopped in the shower. I thought I felt fine until I began my search about town for a Wii. Oh...my head! I had to call and cancel my date with the E-Harmony guy. He understood and agreed to get together sometime this week or next weekend.

My aches and pains didn't stop my search for the Wii though! Wal-Mart has a special going on...Wii's are $199 AND you get a $50 Wal-Mart gift card! I trekked through four different Wal-Marts before I finally found one though! Score! I sent Stalker a text to let him know where I finally found one, because he was planning to catch the deal too. I ended up getting his for him...yes, he's gonna pay me back! So now, I'll be seeing him tonight when he picks up his Wii.

Now I feel worse than ever...the Wii is still in the box.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Busy Busy Weekend!

Thursday night Stalker came over for dinner and a DVD. Things are a little better between us now...less strained and more friendly. We had a nice time, even though his wine cork broke my cork screw! He didn't have a chance to drink his wine because we couldn't get the cork out. Last time he was here, he broke my wine topper/stopper thingy. Luckily, I opened my wine before his Thursday, which means I got tipsy and Stalker didn't! :-) Yay me! No worries...it didn't lead to any sexual activities. We sat closely on the couch with my legs over his lap. That's as wild and crazy as the night got! Oh yeah, Bookstore Boy called while Stalker was here. I hadn't heard from him since the day after he found me at another bookstore. Can we say "ignore", boys and girls?

Last night after work, I had some quality Christmas shopping time with my gay boyfriend. I'll be getting together with all my gay boyfriends before Christmas for dinner and gift exchange. I wasn't really sure what to get two of them, because they are your stereotypically finicky gay men. I'm never quite sure of the borders of tackiness to them! They have these odd collections, and I think I managed to find something fitting for them both.

Today is lunch with a girlfriend and FOOTBALL!!! One of my coworkers is having an SEC Championship party at her house today. You know what that means? Football, alcohol, and food!! We may be hitting the streets after the game.

Tomorrow I'm trying out a new church. I'm not a big fan of organized religion, as folks in the South tend to thump those Bibles a bit too much. I've found a place of worship in my city that welcomes all faiths. I'm checking it out tomorrow. Afterward, I'm meeting up with one of my E-Harmony matches. I'm not sure if he is worthy of a nickname just yet, so I'll hold off on that. Wish me luck!

Oh, and somewhere in all this I have to pack for my move in two weeks!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

More Sexy for your Soul!

Because I've been listening to music more lately, I keep finding songs I want to share. Yes, I know my taste tends to be eclectic. And yes, just about all the songs that appear on my blog are on my iPod! I just got home from the gym and thought I would share some girl power with you! Okay, so the last one isn't a girl...

One More Addiction by Natalie Imbruglia



One More Addiction
First the good news
It's gonna feel very nice
Then the bad news
You gotta pay a heavy price
Rip tide,we slide we ride on a deep forbidden sea
Under we go-so slow
And you're hanging onto me
And I say
Oh oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
out of sight forever (from my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do
I reject you
But I can't follow through
I'd forget you
Bud you'd end up tappin' on my back door
Somehow I lost myself
In a tunnel long and black
Somewhere,at the end,I pretend
There's a way of turning back
(Chorus)
Take a breath
Let it out
All the things you frown about are meaningless of course,unless you're
doing this for real I guess
I meant to to but
I don't know what
Is in the way and could I say
It's you in bet
I won't forget
Maybe I'm not ready yet
(Chorus)

You Make Me Sick by Pink



You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip

I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it

You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again
You were doin' me sick

He was doin' 8-0 on the freeway
In the 6 double 0, bumpin' Isley
He was gettin' kinda close, kinda touch-ay
'Cuz he had a little too much Hennessey

He told me that he wanna go home
With me up on the hill to my condo
Told me he would keep it all on the low-low
But I told him, "Boo, I don't really know though"

He got closer to me, it started gettin' deep
He had me in a zone
When he started to show me things
I never saw before

Baby, it was smooth but I knew it was game
Hell-of-a-cool but you men are the same
The way he licked his lips and touched my hips
I knew that he was slick

You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
I get too hot when you touch the tip

I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it

You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again
You make me sick

In the 6 now, so hot
Gotta pull all the windows down eyes lead
And I'm thinkin' bout the sheets now
Wonderin' should I really take it there now

He told me he would make it worth it
Again, how many times have I heard this
Kinda funny, but I wasn't even nervous
Well his slick-ass lines was kinda workin'

I felt my knees get weak
His body was callin' me
Just couldn't take the heat
Anyway it was 2 or 3, I had to get off the streets

Baby was cool but I knew it was game
Said, he was too schooled to be screamin' my name
Even though we made the best of it
I still told him this

"You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip"

"I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it"

"You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again
You make me sick"

You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip

I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it

You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again

You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip

I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it

You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again

You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Hot when you touch the tip
I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit

Can't no no no no no
Oh, you make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it

Day 'N' Nightby Kid Cudi



Day and night (what, what)
I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind, mind (what, what)
I look for peace but see I don't attain (what, what)
What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play
Now look at this (what, what)
Madness to magnet keeps attracting me, me (what, what)
I try to run but see I'm not that fast (what, what)
I think I'm first but surely finish last, last

[Chorus:]
Cuz day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

[Kid Cudi:]
Hold the phone (what, what)
The lonely stoner, mr. solo doe low (what, what)
He's on the move can't seem to shake the shade (what, what)
Within his dreams he see's the life he made, made
The pain is deep (what, what)
A silent sleeper you won't hear a peep, peep (what, what)
The girl he wants don't see no one into (what, what)
It seems the feelings that she had are through, through

[Chorus:]
Cuz day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (yeah) (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his(yeah) mind at night (at, at, at night)

[Kid Cudi:]
Slow moe, (what, what)
When the temple slows up and creates that new, new (what, what)
He seems alive though he is feeling blue (what, what)
The sun is shining man he's super cool, cool
The lonely nights (what, what)
They fade away he slips into his white nights (what, what)
He smokes a clip and then he's on the way (what, what)
To free his mind in search of,
To free his mind in search of,
To free his mind in search of,

[Chorus:]
Cuz day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

At, at, at night

Sexy Song of the Week

Picture by Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock



Livin' my life in a slow hell
Different girl everynight at the hotel
I ain't seen the sunshine in three damn days

Been fuelin' up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord, I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to her

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you, while I'm lyin' next to her

I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they won't tell
But their half hearted smiles tell me
Somethin' just ain't right

I been waitin' on you for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights

I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

I saw you yesterday with an old friend
It was the same old same, "How have you been?"
Since you been gone my world's been dark and gray

You reminded me of brighter days
I hoped you were comin' home to stay
I was headed to church
I was off to drink you away

I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say, ?I want you to come back home?

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say, ?I want you to come back home?

I just called to say, ?I love you, come back home?



Bring Me Some Water by Melissa Etheridge



Bring Me Some Water
Tonight I feel so weak
But all in love is fair
I turn the other cheek
And I feel the slap and the sting of the foul night air
And I know you're only human
And I haven't got talking room
But tonight while I'm making excuses
Some other woman is making love to you

Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see I'm burning alive
Can't you see my baby's got another lover
I don't know how I'm gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see it's out of control
Baby's got my heart and my baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet Devil's got my soul

When will this aching pass
When will this night be through
I want to hear the breaking glass
I only feel the steel of the red hot truth
And I'd do anything to get it out of my mind
I need some insanity that temporary kind
Tell me how will I ever be the same
When I know that woman is whispering your name

Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see I'm burning alive
Can't you see my baby's got another lover
I don't know how I'm gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see it's out of control
Baby's got my heart and my baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet Devil's got my soul

Oh, the Devil's got my soul

Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see I'm burning alive
Can't you see my baby's got another lover
I don't know how I'm gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see it's out of control
Baby's got my heart and my baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet Devil's got my soul

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Why I Fell...


I've been doing a little self-reflection the last couple days. Suddenly, it hit me! I know why I fell for Stalker so hard and quickly! In order to explain it, I'm gonna have to divulge some personal information that I've never shared on this blog. I try not to tell too much about my life here other than dating incidents and experiences, because, well, it's a dating blog! But here goes...

If you notice I got awfully quiet during the first part of this year after I moved. The best explanation for that hiatus was because Sane wasn't so sane during those months. Mid to late 2008 I began struggling financially. I filed bankruptcy at the beginning of this year and lost my house. Some of that failure can be attributed to my own stupidity while much of it was because of outstanding medical bills and continuing medication costs. No matter the reason, it was a blow to my pride and I fell into a depression. I mean, it hurt to come home to this tiny apartment after living in a spacious home that I worked so hard to pay for. Not to mention, I had gained sooo much weight (due to said medication), I lost all self-esteem. I tried to keep a smile on my face and keep my head up, but it all just took a toll on me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was in a job I hated and that stressed the shit out of me. Said job had also caused the illness with which I was dealing. So basically....over the last couple years, I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into a dark dark depression. I felt like every time things started looking up, I was knocked down even harder. For instance, the day after my bankruptcy was discharged, some juvenile delinquent at my "rewarding" job smashed in the windshield of my car and jumped up and down on the roof of it. He caused close to $2000 worth of damages. I had to pay the $500 deductible, take days off for court (out of my sick time), and never saw a penny of the money he was to pay back. And no, I didn't make the kid angry. I didn't even know the kid! It was random.

Compound all this with a dysfunctional family who can't EVER get along long enough to enjoy a simple holiday, coming home to an empty apartment (well, except my two cats!), and spending my weekends alone, I began to feel so isolated from the world. I didn't go out anymore...I didn't try new things or meet new people. I just became a hermit, really. Actually, the very night that I met Stalker, I almost ended it. Luckily I have a good friend who ended her date to come sit with me and save my life. The last few years (even before 2008) have been so emotionally exhausting, I had forgotten the good, simple, fun parts of life.

Enter Stalker and his chipper, smiling face. He was a positive ray of light in my dark world every time he came around. With him, it was always cup half full, and that appealed to me. I couldn't get enough. I forgot all my worries. He found me physically attractive and couldn't keep his hands off me, which has done wonders for my self-esteem again. I no longer felt ugly, unwanted, and fat. He is active and enjoys getting out and doing fun things, like bowling, putt putt, and horseback riding! I hadn't done all that in....well...never! He became my anti-depressant. He woke me up, slapped me in the face, and said "Why the hell aren't you living life when there is so much to live for??" (Okay, so he didn't ACTUALLY do all that! But he did...) I care about Stalker for so many more reasons than good sex and an occasional laugh. As much as I would love to have Stalker as my very own, I might have to accept that he could have been brought into my life for only one purpose...to save me and make me live again. Hopefully, he will hang around to witness me living life. :-)