Monday, November 30, 2009

Facebook me!

Hey! I just started a FB page for my blog! You should look up "So Why Are You Single?" and become a fan! Thanks in advance! :-)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Hello, just call me Jacob!

I went to see New Moon last night, and I feel like Jacob. Used as comfort in the absence of the obsession of the object of my affection. But for some reason, I still care, even though Stalker obviously doesn't feel the same way. Unrequited's a feeling that has been written about in books and portrayed on stage and in movies for years, decades, and centuries.

Friday night, Stalker texted me saying, "How bout you give me a massage?" around 11:00. I told him, "Maybe tomorrow." And he responded with "I guess I'll turn around then." I told him that that was quite presumptuous of him to think he could just pop up on a Friday night. He just said, "Ok I'll just take my drunk butt home then." I again responded with "maybe tomorrow". Saturday morning I sent a "Good morning sunshine!" text around 11:00, to which he responded "Morning" at 2:00 PM. I sent back, "LOL. A little past morning!" And then there was nothing...

Around 4:15, I sent him a text that said, "If you still want that massage, be at my place around 11:30 ;). You're gonna need it after (insert football team name) kicks that (insert Stalker's fave team) ass!" Again no response....

I went to see New Moon at 7:00, and we got out around 9:30. I then sent another text asking if his lack of response meant he wasn't coming. He told me he was watching the game with his family. Um...that didn't answer my question! Then he told me he would let me know soon. Way to keep me hanging! Finally, around midnight, he texted saying he wasn't going to make it. WTF??? Why didn't he just say no from the beginning??

I called him and lit into his ass! I think I've reached my breaking point. I care about him and would love to continue what we started. He clearly is trying to keep the door open, but he isn't willing to walk through it. I think he is afraid to feel something real and powerful, so he put on the brakes. I know he doesn't desire "her" the way he does me. Things shouldn't be so difficult. Stalker told me he wasn't sure if his feelings for me were genuine or just lust. That is why he is pushing me he can see what is best for him. I think it's all bullshit. I'm a firm believer that if you are feeling it, go with it. He admitted he was denying wanting to see me and be with me purposely. Why deny what makes you happy and feel good? Feelings aren't always rational and logical. He said no other woman had gotten to him and confused him this way. I'm sorry, but the way he looks at me isn't lust. Wanting to spend time with someone just to hear their voice and see their face isn't lust. We had moved beyond the sex buddies thing and were spending QUALITY time together. Lust doesn't want quality time. Lust just wants to get off.

For you, Stalker...

My Love by Jill Scott

Yo I'm trippin right?
I heard you got married.
You got married?
That don't really..
It don't really make any sense.
I mean,
it's not like I didn't think you were
seeing other people or whatever
i mean,
i was seeing other people you know what this is
you know what it was
I can't say I really understand though..

Verse 1:
You chose her cuz she's sweet as pie
take what you give even your lies,
but baby are you happy, without me?
she scrubs your back, washes your clothes,
gives you everything that you ask for..
but don't you ever want more? cuz, my love..

chorus: my love is deeper, tighter, sweeter, higher, fire..
didn't u know this? or didn't you notice?
my love is deeper, tighter, sweeter, higher, fire..
didn't u know this? or didn't you notice?

verse 2: mm.
what we had don't need no words
deeper than anything you ever heard
i ain't reachin baby, i know i should be your lady
you say you're happy,
you say you're great,
but you know and i know you really ain't
you need to come be with me
that's the way it's supposed to be..

my love is...
ooh oooh ooh
my love. you know know know...
didn't you notice?

cuz all...All I ever do
is think about you baby.
I hold you in my arms, inside my dreams..
And I know what I know, and what I know is
that no matter where you go, you will always think of me, MY LOVE.

(repeat chorus throughout)
ad lib:
you know baby you know
my love is deeper
didn't you notice baby?

fire babe..

Oh well, I guess I'm off to answer messages from old short men on E-Harmony! :-)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Feed him...he will come (and cum!)

First, I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all had a better one than I did! Per usual, my family had a big argument that ruined the whole day. I hate that they upset my grandmother. But anyway...this is a dating blog.

Okay, here is a run-down of the last week or so with Stalker. Of course, last week (Tuesday 11/17), he cut off my sex intake. Wednesday night we tried to go to dinner, but I had a killer migraine, and we didn't make it very far. Actually, we argued because he tried to change our plans for that upcoming weekend. So that night was cut short. Thursday night, he came over after his softball game, and I presented him with his birthday gift. He was just excited that it was in a purple gift bag, because it's his favorite color! Funny, the things that entertain us. Inside that bag was a t-shirt for his favorite college football team, the 1st season of True Blood on DVD, and his favorite candy and gum. He then told me that those were the first and only gifts he had gotten for his birthday, with the exception of a bottle of wine when he visited the "ex". Really??? Just a bottle of wine??? Needless to say, he was thrilled and became quite affectionate. He sat right next to me on the couch, rubbing my leg and kissing my cheek. Um...confusing much? He did leave to go home after a couple hours.

Friday night, I surprised him and took him to one of his favorite sushi spots. Because he didn't know where we were going, he arrived at my place carrying three different outfits and asked me to choose. Once I chose the outfit, he stripped down in my living room to change. Really??? Did he have to wear my favorite boxer briefs and SHOW them to me? Not making this platonic thing too easy! Dinner was nice and comfortable. We were going to go for ice cream at the place next door, but the line there was out the door and down the street. We settled for Starbucks instead. Then we headed back to my place for a DVD. Once we got inside and I put my to-go box in the fridge, Stalker grabbed me as I came out of the kitchen and hugged me. He told me I had given him the best birthday ever. As he pulled away from the hug, he rubbed my hips and sides and gave me that "look"...the look I noticed when I realized we had crossed the friends with benefits line. I wasn't sure what to do, so I said, "Well, let's get this movie started!" I sat in my usual spot on the couch, but Stalker did not. He just paced around my apartment. I finally asked him if he was going to sit down. He said, "I guess so." When he did sit, he sat at the other end of the couch on the very edge of the cushion, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs. He looked like he was getting ready to jump up and run! He sat like that for close to an hour. I kept telling him to get comfortable, even joking once saying that I wouldn't attack him if he sat back on the couch. He blamed his position on the pain in his legs from playing softball the previous two nights. I'm still not sure if he just didn't trust me or didn't trust himself. Again, the night ended with us talking/arguing about the tension, although there really was none until we got to the couch. He told me that he realized he shouldn't have been so affectionate the night before if we were trying to keep it friendly. He left around midnight.

Monday night rolls around, and I had plans to meet a girlfriend out for bowling. Since Friday night's incident I had only heard from Stalker a couple times via text. I told him that we would be bowling and let him know he was welcome to join us. Honestly, I thought he would bow out, but he popped up at the bowling alley and closed it down with us. He had never met this friend of mine before, and yet he conversed with her more than he did with me! She even noted the tension between us. He didn't look me in the eye, and he definitely wasn't his usual chipper self. After we all went our separate ways, I called him to address the issue. I mean, I'm willing to be friends, but it shouldn't be so strained. He claimed he didn't realize he had gone so far in the opposite direction of our usual "couple-y" behavior but understood where I was coming from when I gave him examples of his unusual behavior.

Tuesday, in an attempt to mend our strained friendship, I invited him to come over for dinner after work. All the food was cooked and ready for consumption when he arrived. We even cracked open a bottle of wine, and things were going smoothly. We were enjoying one another's company again! After dinner, I made my way to my spot on the couch with my wine glass in hand. He followed me with his and the bottle of wine. He sat right next to closer than ever! Again...confused! He put his arm around my shoulders, thanked me for dinner, pulled me to him, and kissed me! What tha???? Make up your mind already!! I didn't make any comments. We were watching some of the first season of True Blood (I've never seen the 1st few episodes), and Stalker began rubbing his stomach...or I thought that was what he was rubbing! I asked if he was okay, and he said, "I have drunk penis". Um...what? He then explained that alcohol makes him hard. I just said, "And here I thought I made you hard." He laughed and told me, "Yeah, it's your toes in the candlelight." Then the conversation turned to the myth that alcohol makes it soft. Of course, under the influence of wine and my extreme horniness, I just had to ask if I could touch it. He told me yes, to my surprise. And that, my friends, is how we had a replay of our last sexual encounter on the couch. As I straddled him, he whined softly and feebly, "But we're not supposed to..." Neither of us stopped.

Both of us had other plans later in the night, so he left soon after, giving me a hug and a kiss. I felt like shit for doing it, even though I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know this will just push him further away.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Sexy Song of the Week #2 (Deluxe Edition)

While making the drive to my grandmother's for Thanksgiving today, I had my iPod on shuffle. I found a couple more sexy songs (from back in the day) that I wanted to share.

To Make You Feel My Love by Garth Brooks

To Make You Feel My Love - Garth Brooks

When the rain's blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
So no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on a rolling sea
And down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothin' like me yet

There ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

Give Love a Try by Tyrese

Give Love A Try - Tyrese

Now you know you can't deny
what you're feeling inside
you want me
and before you left my sight
it was running through my mind
I want you

you know what you want
and I know what you need
it's me it's me babe
you felt it in your heart
and I knew it right from the start
it's love

Give love a try
please give give love a try
give love a try
please give give love a try

Just forget about the past
give me your loving real fast
lets do this
if you put in your mind
give my loving just one try
I'll love you

You know what you want
I know what you need
it's me
give love a try

Give love a try
please give give love a try
give love a try
please give give love a try Give love a try
please give give love a try
give love a try
please give give love a try

And you say no no no no
but I say yeah yeah yeah yeah
and you say no no no no
but I say yeah yeah yeah yeah

[Chorus Fade out..]

Twisted by Keith Sweat

Twisted - Keith Sweat

Oh yeah baby
You got to make your mind up
Yeah, Kut Klose, help me out

[1]-You know you are my lover
You got me twisted over you
I know i got what you need
So what you wanna do

Baby, baby I know
Baby I love you so
But you don't feel like I do
Tell me what can I do

[2]-But I gotta be strong
Did me wrong
When I thought we were really down
So you say you want me
Make up your mind
Cuz I'm not gonna be here for long

[Repeat 1]
Baby, baby in time
Baby I know you'll find
That what you needed was here
Think about it my dear

[Repeat 2]

[Repeat 1]

Breaking up now
You got me twisted
Thinking about the way things used to be
When it was you and me girl I was free
See you had my heart from the start
Like Cupid and I was just down right foolish and stupid
But now I know the reason for the pain and the headaches
You left me all alone now I can't even concentrate
I guess I'll wait for the day until you come back
Because my heart is where your love is at
You got me twisted

[Repeat 1 (2x)]

Sexy Song of the Week

Bad Things by Jace Everett

The True Blood fans out there should recognize this one!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Free of Blog-Blockers

Since I was so suddenly interrupted by Bookstore Boy while writing my last blog, I'm adding another to continue my original thoughts.

What was I saying? Oh, I can't imagine sex with anyone else except Stalker. I said it eleven hours ago, and I still believe it! I'm not going to get into the details right this moment, but I have spent four evenings with Stalker since his return from the "ex's" state. None of those evenings have resulted in a slumber party or any sexual fun. Actually, most of those times have been quite strained and tense. I'm not really sure what's going on anymore. I don't know if he has lost all feelings for me or if he is going out of his way to resist temptation. I do know that I still want him...maybe more than ever. It pains me to be with him and not know what he is thinking or feeling. But I don't want to lose him from my life either, even if as just a friend. Stalker hurt his knee last week, playing softball. He was still in pain tonight when he joined me and a girlfriend for bowling. I just wanted to reach out and hold him. I know this makes no sense. Not much has lately. I just know that I feel so much more for him than even I thought I did. I now realize that Stalker had awakened parts of me that I thought had died or at least had become numb. I want to nurture him, to cook (what tha???) for him, and to be with him all the time. The feeling is so strong it almost creeps me out!

E-Harmony update: It sucks! Most of my matches don't fall into my age and/or height requirements. What's up with all the old short men?? Yeah, they need love too, but I can't reach down and give it to them!

Today just after my girlfriend and I got settled into our little spot at a different bookstore, Bookstore Boy showed up and made himself at home. Again, he blog-blocked me! And he just wouldn't go away. At one point when my friend excused herself to go to the restroom, he grabbed my thigh and told me he wants to see me again...alone. Ewww...creepy!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Can't Get Away!

It's been a week and a half, and I miss Stalker's caress, kiss, the weight of his body on mine, and the thrills and chills I felt as he would grind slowly and deeply inside me. I may go out with other people, but I honestly can't imagine having sex with anyone else. Stalker has set the bar, and that bar is high, my friends!

Oh damn, Bookstore Boy is here! And I'm even in a different bookstore!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Stalker and I spoke again last night. He has cut me off from my addicktion. No more sex. He said he needs to clear his mind and figure out what he wants. That's pretty much all the conversation boils down to. He isn't back together with his "ex". He isn't having sex with either of us (so he says). He just wants to step away from the physical and clear the cloudiness in his head. So yeah...still no answers and now no sex...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Sexy Song of the Week

I Love You by Sarah McLachlan

I have a smile
stretched from ear to ear
to see you walking down the road

We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
the world around us disappears

it`s Just you and me
on my island of hope
a breath between us could be miles
Let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek

Oh but every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

And I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the words to say I need you so

Oh but every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

And I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for i cannot find the words to say i need you so

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Happy Birthday Stalker

Sigh. So this was the dreaded weekend. Stalker's birthday weekend with the "ex". He is still with her. I've heard nothing from him since Thursday night when he sent me a text to let me know he made it there safely. Wow! Yeah, so now all I can think about every night is him wrapped around her instead of me. I didn't realize how difficult this weekend would be. I sent him a text earlier today saying happy birthday, and of course, I got no response. Sigh.

For those of you wondering how the rest of our talk went on Tuesday night, here goes. He came over to spend the night. The talk took place as we were lying in bed. I again told him that I didn't want him to go. He explained that this weekend was about he and the "ex" deciding what they were going to do. The conversation then moved to his feelings about me. I asked him when he realized he felt for me as more than a friend. He said it was when my grandfather died. He said he noticed that he constantly worried about how I was feeling and how I was handling it. He knew then that he had crossed the friend line, because he just wanted to comfort me. He went on to describe how being with me was like a "breath of fresh air" and that he didn't know he could feel this way about someone else. It confused him, because he thought he was supposed to be with "her". He knew that he crossed the line when he wanted to see me all the time, if only for a few minutes. So he knew before I did really! I came right out and asked Stalker if he really wants a relationship with his "ex". His response? "I don't know." Uh duh! Shouldn't that be a clue??? He then said that he needs to talk to her about it this weekend. I then asked if he wanted what was going on between me and him to end, and he told me no. Again....duh! Next I asked what will happen to us if he gets back together with her. He said, "I guess we will have to go back to being friends." I said, "Is that what you want? Could you do that?" He said, "It would suck, but it's what we would have to do if I'm in a committed relationship."!! All I could say is "Do you even hear yourself? You practically admitted you don't want the relationship!" We talked a little more, but the conversation basically went in circles with no real answers. He doesn't know what he wants. He said he just wants everybody to be happy. Um...buddy...someone is going to be unhappy in the end. That's the ugly part of a love triangle. To make matters worse, Stalker's car wouldn't start on Wednesday morning, so I had to take him to work, making me extremely late to my job! His dad brought him over to get his car during his lunch. I still wonder what he told his dad about where he spent the night before.

Since I had the sinking feeling that I was going to be the unhappy one, I decided to make his last sexual experience with me one he would never forget. Stalker came by my place after work on Wednesday evening. I met him at the door in a sexy black and green nightie with no panties. I had the candlelight and LOTR playing on the TV. I pulled him into my apartment and undressed him while I let my lips and tongue wonder all over his body. I led him to the couch, sat him down, got on my knees and gave him a BJ he will never forget. Just before he was about to cum, I straddled him and rode him until he was about to explode. He told me that was his favorite "nookie time" with me ever. This is the first and only time we neglected to use a condom and he didn't pull out. Let's pray that my BC pill really does work! I've never tested it!

After we laid around in the after-orgasm glow, it was back to reality. Stalker had to meet "her" mother to get some things to take to "her" for her new apartment. Isn't that nice of him to travel all that way to take "her" things for his birthday weekend? I wonder if "her" mother could smell me on him...

Before you all start with the comments, yes I know you may think I disrespected myself, but I wanted to enjoy Stalker one last time before this weekend. I do have hopes that he comes back and wants to try things with me, but I am sad as that makes me.

In other news...when I went out with some girlfriends last weekend, I met a new guy. We will call him Mr. International. He is obviously a foreigner to this country. He seemed like a nice guy, and we talked for quite a while. I gave him my number. I figured if nothing else, he may be a good distraction from Stalker, as you all know I've been looking. On Wednesday just when I thought I wouldn't hear from him, I received a text asking me if he could call me after 7:00 when he got home. I told him sure and I was looking forward to talking to him. Uh...he called at 10:45. And yeah, I was already asleep. Really not a good time for a first conversation when you are a school teacher! The next day I texted him to let him know I was already asleep. So....he tried again on Thursday 10:00!! Really??? Not much better. Again, I was already asleep. You would think he would catch on, right? So Friday, he called at 12:45 in the afternoon. Hello???? I'm a teacher!!! Can't chat during class! By now, I was already irritated. When I listened to his voicemail, he suggested we get together on Saturday. Unfortunately, I was headed out of town to visit my BFF. I sent him a text to let him know I would be out of town for the weekend. So sometime Friday night I guess he thought it would be a good idea to call again. He left a voicemail saying that he hopes I like talking on the phone. He also said it's okay that I went out of town. I'm not real sure what to think of that statement, as he said it like I had asked his permission! So far Mr. International is off to a rocky start.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sexy Song of the Week

Given the recent comments on my blog from people who can't seem to understand the way things have developed between me and Stalker, I decided to dedicate today's Sexy Song of the Week to songs written about these very situations. It's apparently not uncommon to have someone you care about, and yet fall for someone else by surprise.

You Make Me Wanna by Usher

This is what you do
This is what you do
This is what you do
This is what you do


You make me wanna leave the one I'm with to
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about a ring and all the things that come along with
You make me
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about her and all the things that come along with
Make me
You make me

Verse 1:

Before anything became between us
You were like my best friend
The one I used to run and talk to
When me and my girl was having problems
You used to say it would be okay
Suggest little nice things I should do
And when I go home at night and lay my head down
All I seem to think about was you
And how you make me wanna


leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about a ring and all the things that come along with
You make me
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about her and all the things that come along with
Make me
You make me

Verse 2:

Now what's bad is you're the one that hooked us up
Knowing it should have been you
And what's sad is that I love her but I'm falling for you
What should I do
Should I tell my baby bye-bye
Should I do exactly what I feel inside
Cause I, I don't wanna go, don't need to stay
But I really need to get it together


You make me wanna leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationship with you (see what you do?)
This is what you do
Think about a ring and all the things that come along with
You make me (you make me)
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with (oh baby)
Start a new relationship with you (this is what you do)
This is what you do (ehhh)
Think about her and all the things that come along with
Make me
You make me

Verse 3:

At this point the situation's out of control
I never meant to hurt her
But I gotta let her go
And she may not understand it
Why all of this is going on
I tried, I tried to fight
But the feeling's just too strong

you make me
you make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna

Chorus x2:

leave the one I'm with (see what you do?)
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about a ring and all the things that come along with
You make me
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with (oh baby)
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about her and all the things that come along with
Make me
You make me

Run to You by Bryan Adams

She says her love for me could never die
But that'd change if she ever found out about you and I

Oh - but her love is cold
Would it hurt her if she didn't know, cause...

When it gets too much
I need to feel your touch

I’m gonna run to you
I’m gonna run to you
Cause when the feelings right I'm gonna run all night
I’m gonna run to you

She's got a heart of gold she'd never let me down
But you're the woman that always turns me on
You keep me coming round

I know her love is true
But it's so damn easy making love to you

I got my mind made up
I need to feel your touch

I’m gonna run to you
Yeah - I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feeling right I'm gonna stay all night

I’m gonna run to you
Yeah - I'm gonna run to you
Oh when the feeling right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

By the way, Stalker and I did talk a little more last night, but I'll write more on that later.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Bowling Anyone?

After that wonderful Thursday night with Stalker, we got back into our text routine during the work day. It continued into Friday evening, and then he went silent until Saturday morning. He sent a text telling me that he fell out at 9ish Friday night and slept until about 11:00 on Saturday morning. This isn't surprising after the week he had. He then told me to have a good weekend. Um...huh?? I replied that I was hoping he'd be a part of my weekend, to which he said that it would be a family weekend since he would be out of town the next weekend (visiting "her" for his birthday). This is the text convo from there:

Me: I don't want you to go
Stalker: :(
Me: I need to talk to you
Stalker: K. Bout what?
Me: What do you think?
Stalker: Its too early for me to think...
Me: Do you even remember our talk on Thursday morning?
Stalker: I do.
Me: And what are your thoughts on it?
Stalker: I honestly don't know
Me: Well you acted like you wanted to move forward Thursday night. I think you should give me...give US a chance.
Stalker: I have to see how next weekend plays out
Me: Then maybe you should give me some time too. I know you feel for me.
Stalker: Yeah I do care about you. But I have to see what she is thinking
Me: So basically I get 2nd prize if she doesn't want you?
Stalker: I dunno.
Me: It would be great if we could actually talk in person.
Stalker: K. Tomorrow may be cool.
Me: You are making a huge mistake.
Stalker: :(
Me: I think you really do know it. And that's the shit of it all. Have you/are you going to tell her about me?
Stalker: Probably not

From this point on, my inner psycho just came out. I called him to try to explain that I would like to do something for his birthday before he left for the weekend. Stalker's response? "Can't we do it after I come back in town?" My anxiety level rose into over-drive! I panicked and said, "There may not be an after next weekend!" He was at his niece's soccer game, and he said he would call me later. I told him I wouldn't be home, because I had plans to go out. He then said he would text me instead. Guess what??? No text all day Saturday.

Finally on Sunday he contacted me via text. I was pretty short in my responses. We did decide that he would come over after his family activities later in the evening. A couple hours later, Stalker texted me to say he was probably going to the gym in a little while (we belong to the same gym). When I asked what happened to family time, he told me his dad was going with him. I'm still not quite sure why he felt the need to check in with me like that, so all I said was "Y'all have fun!"

Fast forward a couple more hours, he sent a text telling me his sister was in the emergency room again (She has been experiencing severe migraines), and he would keep me updated. I suggested that we reschedule Monday evening, but then we realized both of us had prior commitments. So we finally decided on Tuesday evening right after work.

Just as I was about to settle in for a date with my DVR on Sunday evening, I receive a text from Stalker:

"Me and my bro gonna go bowling at (Stalker's local bowling alley). Wanna go?

Huh? I just called him, because all this texting was getting confusing! Last word I had was that he was on the way to the ER. He informed that his sister told him not to come, so he and his brother decided to go on with the original family plans to bowl. I reminded him that my car was messed up (turns out it was just the battery) and I didn't want to drive anywhere until I got it checked out. Stalker offered to go out of his way to pick me up.

So yeah, I went bowling with Stalker and his brother last night. We had a pretty good time. It was kinda strange hanging with Stalker and someone else. Every time we've done anything together, it was always just the two of us. It was difficult not to smack him on the ass or get super flirty with him. His brother was a pretty nice guy. He is much more quiet than Stalker and less outgoing. At one point, Stalker's brother asked me if I work with Stalker. I'm not real sure what Stalker had/hadn't told him about me. I just told him that Stalker and I met at a party a while back and became fast friends. What?? It wasn't a lie! The night ended with a hug from Stalker when he and his brother dropped me off at my place.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

"The Talk" Follow-up

Thursday after "the talk" I didn't hear too much from Stalker. We didn't engage in our usual text convo during the work day. We did exchange a couple texts trying to decide what we were doing for dinner. So when I was driving home, I oh-so-surprised to receive this:

k. I stay the night tonight. maybe wine and something quick and easy after softball game.

I really thought he would pull away to let all my feelings and other babble marinate and to think on things. So I picked up a rotisserie chicken and some sides from the local grocery along with some wine. The side dishes had just been completed when Stalker arrived at my place in softball uniform, laden with his over-night necessities. He didn't have a hand free to hug me, so instead he kissed me hello. Well, that was different! Once settled, we made our plates, put in a DVD and got cozy on the couch. After eating, Stalker took a quick shower. We were watching LOTR, and he has seen it a dozen times. Once he returned to the couch, he took my feet in his lap and commenced to rubbing. The wine went to my head and I couldn't make it through the movie, so we decided to hit the sheets. We discussed my upcoming move next month, as we were getting ready for bed. He told me that there was no need to hire movers, and that he and his brother would do it if I rented the truck. Again, I was caught by surprise! Not only did he commit to doing something for me, but I also get to meet a family member!? I thought, "Wow! Now we're getting somewhere!"

I wasn't too tired for some sensual nookie! Again, it was amazing and left us both speechless. We fell asleep entwined and woke the same way when the alarm went off. Of course, I had to have more before work. It's too good, and I'm enjoying it while I have it. He left for work before I did, as he was going by Verizon to get his anticipated Droid phone. He assured me that I would receive the very first text from his fantasy phone. He again kissed and hugged me goodbye and was on his way.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

"The Talk"

I'm proud to report that I had it with Stalker. Of course, my timing wasn't the best. I decided to do it first thing in the morning while he and I both were still half asleep. I knew I would say something when I couldn't hold it in any longer.

You see, I was beginning to get irritated and snippy with Stalker about stuff that doesn't usually phase me at all. I knew then that the unspoken line-crossing was getting to me. We were discussing our plan to do dinner tonight after his softball game, and I asked if he would be staying over at my place again tonight. He said, "We'll see." For some reason that sent me through the roof! I told him that it made me feel disrespected when he made me wait for him or wouldn't commit to plans, only to show up late at my place because he "missed me". It is disrespectful of my time. Stalker has a committment problem...he can't commit to plans in advance! Usually I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of woman, so normally this isn't an issue with me unless it's something important. When I realized how irritable I was becoming with the "little things", I knew it was time to speak up.

I basically said the same things to him that I said in the
Dear Stalker letter, although probably not quite as smoothly. He did agree that we have crossed the friend line. He also said that it scares him that it happened so fast and unexpectedly. I told him that I didn't expect him to actually define what we are at this moment, but I felt it needed to be addressed. I also made it clear that I would like to continue this and see what happens. Yeah, I really did most of the talking. By this time, we were both running late for work. He gave me a hug and a kiss goodbye and said he would see me for dinner tonight. I'm sure this will be continued at some point...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Happy Hump Day....early!

Since I'm not sure I'll be able to post tomorrow, I thought I'd go ahead and give you the Sexy Song of the Week now! Enjoy!

Addicted by Saving Abel

I’m so addicted to all the things you do
When you’re going down on me in between the sheets
All the sounds you make with every breath you take
It’s not like anything when you’re loving me

Oh girl lets take it slow
So as for you well you know where to go
I want to take my love and hate you till the end

It’s not like you to turn away
From all the bullshit i cant take
It’s not like me to walk away

I’m so addicted too all the things
You do when you’re going down on me
In between the sheets
all the sounds you make
with every breathe you take
It’s not like anything
when you’re loving me

I know it was getting rough
all the times we spend
when we try to make
this love something better than
just making love again

Its not like you to turn away
all the bullshit I cant take
just when I think I can walk away,

I’m so addicted to all the things
you do when you’re going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make
with every breathe
It’s not like anything

I’m so addicted to the things you do
when you’re going down on me
all the sounds you make with every breath you take
It’s not like anything when you’re loving me
when you’re loving me

I can not make it through
all the things you do
theres just got to be more than you and me

I’m so addicted too all the things you do
when you’re going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make with every breath you take
It’s not like anything
It’s not like anything

I’m so addicted too
all the things you do
when you’re going down on me

All the sounds you make with every breath
you take its not like anything
I’m so addicted to you
addicted to you


I've decided that I need a distraction. A distraction from Stalker. I care about him, but I am's not real likely that his "situation" will end anytime soon. So needless to say, it would be a safety-net for my feelings if there was someone else hanging around. I thought Bookstore Boy would be a possibility, but I never heard from him again after I called him a homophob! I've been reading what you all have said. And yes, it is unfair that he has his "ex" and I have no one to fall back on. At the time I met Stalker though, I was still hanging on to MatchMan. I've decided to join E-harmony.

I initially created my profile on there because of Stalker. We thought it would be fun if their personality matching expertise would match us up. We weren't matched. But I kept getting emails galore from the website. I decided to give it a try on the same day that Stalker was out of state. So far, it's a whole lotta uninteresting. I'm sorry...I can't vibe with just anyone. This is why Stalker is so unusual.

Ex-Coworker keeps texting and asking when he can see me. Again, he is a nice guy...not as bright as I prefer and we can get along only in short spurts of time. I'm wondering if it's even worth trying to plan some time together.

Monday, November 2, 2009


I really don't have much to say, but I did want to post. This past weekend was full of drunken antics, none involving Stalker or any other man for that matter. It was a full on girls weekend, and a good one at that!

I did hear from Stalker via text throughout the day on Saturday. Then Sunday came....and nothing. I texted him Sunday night and asked, "Are you still alive?", as it's unusual not to hear from him at some point during the day. He responded an hour and a half later with "just leaving (insert name of state where 'ex' now lives)". Interesting...I had no clue he was taking a trip this weekend. The cards will fall where they will...