The Stalker's Story

So you want to know more about the Stalker, huh? After meeting this scrumptious young man* over at my girlfriend's place, he found me on a popular social networking site. How, you ask? So did I! He knew my first name and my friend's first name. He later told me that he looked up my friend's profile first, because she has an unusual name. He knew I would be on her friends list. He also said he went to my employer's website to look for employees with my first name. Determined little booger, isn't he?

So began the text-affair. It went on for two days. On the third day, I asked him to tell me something funny because I had a rough day at work. Instead, he told me to come outside my apartment. Yeah! There he was! He told me he thought that a hug would be better than a funny text message. Aww...how sweet! But wait a durn minute! "How the hell did he know where I live?", I thought to myself. Hmm... So, me being me, I asked! Of course, he knew which apartment complex I live in, because my girlfriend lives in the same one**, just below his buddy who was having the cookout when we met. He said he just drove around until he saw my car. Should I be freaked or flattered? To tell the truth, I was a little of both.

Yes, before you all start calling me a cheater, he does know about MatchMan, and we have done nothing physically beyond a hug. He has a "situation" himself. Brace yourselves. He lives with his ex-girlfriend, who will be moving to another state next month. Wait! That's not all! You know I can't meet a desirable man without some kind of catch! He says that they only broke up in order "to grow as individuals". Um, excuse me, but how is that possible if they still live together? Wait!!! It gets even better!

Stalker says he and his ex may get back together officially in the next couple weeks before she moves hundreds of miles away for her new job. Is it just me, or does that sound bass-akwards? My thinking on this is, "If it ain't working while you live in the same city in the same home, how the hell will it work long distance?" I mean, even the BEST of relationships are difficult when they are long distance. And of course, I said this to him. His answer? "We will revisit it to be sure it is the right decision." I guess when you are young, dumb, and in love, you must learn the hard way. The two of them are still living together, but not "together". They have also made a deal not to become physical with other people until they know what they are doing, although they aren't having sex anymore. He claims she is afraid it will cloud her judgement about him. All too damn confusing to me...sounds like she doesn't want him but doesn't want anyone else to have him either.

Stalker and I have decided to be "just friends"..."just friends" with a whole lotta sexual tension and innuendoes bouncing in the air all around us, even through text messages. We have hung out a couple times a week since we first met. One good thing has come of it...I've developed a love of bowling. Nope, I had never bowled until two weeks ago, when he taught me! Such fun! We have a TV date tonight for True Blood.

As for MatchMan, I've told him I need a little time to think. How do you let someone go when you truly care about him, but you know he may not be the best thing for you in the long run? He has some life-restructuring to complete, and I'm not sure I have what it takes to hang in there. I'm at a point in my life that I need a man who has it together already.

*8-9 years actually!
**in a different building...it's a large complex

And now, for something completely different!

Well, not really...

Ex-coworker has decided to resurface. He never actually went anywhere, but sometimes our communication is more sporadic than others. He has been texting me again...almost to the point of "sexting". It really is too bad that he doesn't live closer, because the thangs that man can do to make me quiver...sigh. He has a vacation planned in July to go visit family, so he is taking a road trip. Guess what?! He will be driving right through my city to reach his destination. We have decided that he will stop and hang with me for the weekend on his way up and again the next weekend on his way back home. So it looks as if Ex-coworker will be my date for whatever July 4 celebratory Jack Daniels drinking in which I will partake.

Oh yeah, he sent me a text this AM telling me would make a mixed CD for me...how 8th grade is that?? So adorable, really.

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!

Try to keep up! It's Christmas, and it I've been given the gift of men! Suddenly, they are pouring out of the sky...from no where. Well, they did come from SOMEWHERE, but now they ALL want to spend time with me!

I was driving to visit my family when the texts started rolling in! Hot Stuff was the first to hit me up. He wanted to get together on Christmas night, but unfortunately, I wasn't going to be back in town by then. Hot Stuff will be going out of town to visit family next week, so that isn't going to pan out too soon.

Then City Boy, a guy I met on an online dating site, hit me up to remind me that he had arrived in my city. He comes to my city for holidays, as he has family here. He and I have chatted occasionally for the last year or so, but we have never been able to coordinate our schedules when he comes to town. Since he comes during major holidays, I am usually out of town myself. Now that we are both in the same city at the same time, we have made plans for Friday night! I'm not really sure what we will do yet, but I hope he is as sexy as his pictures suggest!

KH had already asked me out for Saturday night. He has left the activity choice up to me. Any suggestions??? I would like to do something different from your run-of-the-mill movies and dinner date.

And then tonight, while driving back from my family gathering, I received a text from FWB. And well, you know the story there. Of course, he wanted to get together and asked me if I was in town. Of course, I lied and said no. Technically, I wasn't....yet. I still had an hour or so left driving.

And finally, also during my drive home, I received a text from Ex-Coworker telling me he misses me and wants to see me soon. He and I have spoken randomly since his visit back in March, but I'm not really sure what his angle is. *sigh* So lately, he has told me he would like to try again, and he wants to come visit me. He tried to work it out during the holidays. Our schedules didn't jive though. Whatever. Men...pfft.

The Meeting

Okay, here is the long-awaited story of the meeting with the LD Man.

I drove 9, yes NINE, hours to get to him. I checked into a hotel, because we both agreed that I would feel more comfortable staying there the first night. I freshened up and then called him. He came right over. As soon as we saw one another we hugged so tightly I could hardly breathe.

He decided he would take me out to dinner and then show me around his city. We ate at this cute little German restaurant. Although the food wasn't so good, the atmosphere and company was. After dinner, we went for a walk around the neighborhood of the restaurant. We just walked and talked. Once I was too cold to walk anymore, we got in his truck and rode around the city, while he showed me all his favorite places. Then he took me to his favorite book store, where we shared novels we had read and wanted to read.

So I spent a good 3-4 hours with LD Man before he took me back to my hotel room. Toward the end of the night, we got more and more quiet. I knew we were both exhausted, so I figured that was why.

We hugged again at the hotel. He told me to call him when I woke and we would go for breakfast and hang out some before his meeting at 11:00.* I would find something to do while he was at his meeting, and then we would get back together for more fun! That was the plan...

I woke around 7:45 and called LD Man. I got his voicemail and left a message. Once I jumped in the shower, the thought "What if he doesn't call back?" entered my mind. He finally returned my call about 30 minutes later. He told me then that he had decided to go into work to pick up something real quick and got stuck there. He would be at my hotel in about 45 minutes or so. An hour went by, and I had to check out of the hotel in a couple hours. He had a meeting in one hour. I didn't know the city at all. I called him, and he again apologized and said he was still stuck. Then he goes on to say, "Did you really think we vibed last night?" I said, "yes." He was shocked and said, "Well, I didn't." Jaw on floor...

He then proceeded to tell me that he thought if we were just casually dating, that would be cool because I'm really sexy and cool and smart...blah blah blah. BUT he is looking for his wife, and we didn't vibe like he should when he's found his wife. HUH??? Then this man had the nerve to ask me to book another night at the hotel, so we could talk about it later. Again....HUH??? He wanted me to spend MY MONEY to stay in a hotel for ANOTHER night so he could tell me again that I am not wife material. HUH???

I packed my shit up and hit the road. I told him I couldn't spend more money to be rejected again. He told me that we would always be friends.

*I knew about this meeting before I went. It was a work thing that he couldn't get out of.

Chemistry? What chemistry?

I finally met LD Man. It didn't go so well. I will write more of an explanation once I know how to.

Guess I have some 'splainin' to do...

A quick little update blog for everyone! I know you've been checking my little spot here, anxiously awaiting my updates with bated breath!

I finally went out with Doc. It wasn't all I'd hoped it would be. He was in my city for a medical convention. I don't know if I mentioned that he lives about an hour and half drive from me. We met up for dinner and drinks the night after Obama became our President-elect (yep...happy dance!). Conversation was still casual and flirty, as usual. Afterward, I followed him back to his fancy hotel that they put him up in just to hang out. As we walked into the lobby, he looked behind us and saw two black women. He then said, "Let me slow down so those black girls don't think I'm with you."* I was like, "WTF???" All I could say back is "Wow." He tried to play it off as a joke, but that shit ain't funny to me. I would never even think to say something like that to someone! So needless to say, the night was ruined, and I left him alone at his hotel after a lull and an attempt at cool conversation. Of course, he hasn't called again.

The young coworker's Halloween party went off without a hitch. A drunken good time was had by all. We stayed up way too late, drank way too much, danced, played Cornhole**, and became rockstars with the help of Nintendo 360 and Rockband! The young coworker and I have recognized our attraction to one another, but we haven't acted on it. We have cooled the texting, but he does still ask me to hang out often. We've only done so once since the party. Oh yeah, and he still has his girlfriend.

KS still sends me the occasional "Good morning" text message a couple times a week. I still respond and never hear back til the next "Good morning." Sigh.

And last but definitely not least, I will finally meet LD Man tomorrow!!! I'm excited, nervous, scared, and in shock right now! I'll let you know how it goes! :)

*Doc is black, I'm not.
**Youtube it if you don't understand, because I really can't explain!

Never said I forgave you...

So I'm sure you guys want some updates, or maybe you don't. But I'm giving them to you anyway!

KS hasn't sent anymore texts, nor has he called. Oh well...

The LD Man and I played phone tag all week last week. Our schedules are quite different, so we often have to do strategic phone calling to actually have a conversation. Friday evening he finally caught up with me. His brother is fine. His HumV (sp?) was shot all up, and the soldiers were sent to Germany for medical care. He will be there for a little while to recoup and then be sent back to Iraq. So that's good news.

LD Man was extremely apologetic for how he handled things the weekend he was supposed to visit. He admitted that he should have called me much earlier than what he did. He also said that he still wants to meet me, that he is going to try to be more available to me, and that he thinks we should waste no more time. I was calm. I never once got angry, cried, or yelled. He said all this on his own without any prompting from me. Then he said to me, "Thank you for forgiving me." I replied, "I never said I forgave you." Suddenly Mr. LD Man is much more attentive and making an effort to let me know more about him and his daily life.

Spank Me, I've Been Naughty!

After moping around the house and cursing the LD Man and his disappearing act yesterday, a couple friends took me out to dinner so we could eat and drown my sorrows in Jack Daniels. While at the sports bar, my phone rang. Guess who??? Uh huh, the LD Man. I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone, as I had just begun to smile, laugh, and stop worrying about what happened. Like I told my friend, I would rather just not hear from him again, because it makes it easier to let go.

After we finished our meal, we just had to know what he had to say for himself. As I listened to his voicemail, my jaw dropped. According to his message, his brother was shot in Iraq, and he was calling me from his parents' house (which is a couple hours away from where he lives). He apologized and told me that he swears he will make it up to me. I don't know what to think, feel, or say. He tried to call again just as we were leaving the restaurant. I still couldn't bring myself to answer. I had a sexcapade to get to anyway.

Sexcapade you ask??? Well, as any woman would do in a time of crisis, I called my girlfriend earlier that day. During our conversation, she offered up the old cliche, "The best way to get over a man is to get under another one." All it took was one impulsive text message to the FWB and we had a plan for him to meet me back at my place later that night! *hangs head in shame* I'm not longer celibate. Please spank me, I've been a naughty naughty girl. And I liked it!

Poo on a Shoe

Do you know what it feels like to be poo on someone's shoe? Well, I do!*

This weekend was to be the long awaited meeting with the LD Man. The original plan was that he was going to drive into town on Friday night. Due to some work stuff, he had to postpone. We spoke yesterday (Saturday) afternoon, and he said he was going to take a nap and then drive to my town. That would have landed him here sometime in the middle of the night/early morning. His last words during that call were, "I'll call you before I hit the road." It is now Sunday afternoon (approximately 24 hours later), and I've heard nothing, zilch, nada. I have called a couple times, only to get his voicemail.

I really don't understand what happened. Everything was going well. All week long we were making plans for the long weekend. Now, he hasn't shown up or called.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm still single.

*Dr. Seuss is my hero!

Stress, Stress, and I Don't Care!

The meds the neurologist prescribed seem to be working! Yay! I'm sleeping better, and the headaches have been fewer! :) The first night I took the med for anxiety, I slept for almost 12 hours! I woke up long enough to call in sick to work, feed the cats, and go potty! I know...TMI. I spent most of the morning in bed, and it felt absolutely wonderful. I guess I was just tired from not sleeping well for so long.

Still no sex...would like sex. The meeting with the LD Man is quickly approaching. I wonder if he can make me break my vow.

We set the date!

Hehe! No, I'm not getting married, but the LD Man and I have decided on a weekend to meet. I'm not going to tell you the date, because I'm kinda superstitious about things and don't want to jinx it! LOL Just know that we have found a mutually agreeable weekend in the not so distant future!

In other dating news, there is a seemingly handsome young man from a dating website pursuing me. I'm not so sure about him, as he is a texter! *sigh* He has kids, which is less than desirable for me, but I'm willing to give him a chance. It's all part of my self-improvement plan. He says he would like to meet later for a drink if I have no other plans. Let's see....college football or meet with a prospective date??? What do you think?

Making Up!

Maybe I blogged too soon! The LD Man finally called. He actually called and left a message a couple hours after my last blog, but we didn't get a chance to speak until today after playing a little phone tag. He addressed some of my insecurities and made me feel much better about things between us. So there is one aspect of my life that's looking up. Now if only I can divorce Mr. Mortgage and start a new career!

Not So Sane

Maybe I'm not so sane, because I have been one depressed little lady lately. I hate my job, I'm broke, and I think the LD Man is no longer talking to me. It's crazy how we seemed to be getting closer and then suddenly....NOTHING. He hasn't called, even though he emailed me two days ago and told me he would. I opened up so much to him...more so than anyone in many years. I thought he liked me regardless of all my crazy sides! It hurts.

I know I'm making no sense, but my thoughts and emotions have been so jumbled the last week. I'm so sick of being alone, so I just sink further into depression. It's a vicious cycle. I need to snap out of it. I find it so hard to trust anyone anymore though.

The Loss of Life

The LD Man lost one of his closest friends this past week. The guy was not very old (early 40's). He was excercising and complained of a headache. Suddenly, he was down. He suffered from an aneurysm, and was on life support for several days. This man had a wife and three kids. It's so very sad.

It has made me do a lot of thinking though. The time we have here on this earth is undetermined. How many days have we wasted stressed out, pissed off, sad, or feeling sorry for ourselves? Why do we get stuck for YEARS in careers or relationships we abhor?

Shouldn't we spend every moment we can appreciating those in our lives, enjoying the few precious moments given to us? Shouldn't we be happy with our partners? In our careers?

I've been thinking about running away from home lately! The only thing tying me down is Mr. Mortgage, and I'm thinking about breaking up with him! I want to be free to be happy and to enjoy those I care about.

Updates on the FWB and the LD Man

Celibate I still am! Hooray me! The FWB continues to text me occasionally, asking when he can come get it! LOL I guess he feels that persistence will pay off. He also told me that he went by my old class room looking for me when he went back to work. I'm not sure how he missed that fact that I wasn't going back to that job. DOH!

The long distance man that I've been talking to is still hanging around. We still haven't made a plan for a meeting. Due to my job switch, money has been ugly! He actually offered to give me money to help out...not loan...but GIVE! Huh? I'm not sure how to take that. I've never had this happen, and I've never asked for money from anyone.

I can do it!!!

I'm sticking to my guns! That's right...I STILL haven't had sex! It has been just over 2 months since I last had sex. I've gotten over the sex-craze hump, so to speak. I don't think about it nonstop anymore. As a matter of fact, I rarely think of it at all. Is that normal? I think it helps that I haven't really been dating either. I've been concentrating more on myself rather than trying to hook up with someone.

I have been talking to a man I met on a dating website almost 2 months ago though. We haven't met live and in person yet, due to the distance (about 500-600 miles!), but we do plan to eventually. Maybe it's my blossoming interest in getting to know him that has blocked my sexual appetite for anyone local. I never thought I would ever consider doing a long distance thing with ANYONE, but something is different about this guy. I can't really put my finger on it, but it is. Is that crazy?