First, I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all had a better one than I did! Per usual, my family had a big argument that ruined the whole day. I hate that they upset my grandmother. But anyway...this is a dating blog.
Okay, here is a run-down of the last week or so with Stalker. Of course, last week (Tuesday 11/17), he cut off my sex intake. Wednesday night we tried to go to dinner, but I had a killer migraine, and we didn't make it very far. Actually, we argued because he tried to change our plans for that upcoming weekend. So that night was cut short. Thursday night, he came over after his softball game, and I presented him with his birthday gift. He was just excited that it was in a purple gift bag, because it's his favorite color! Funny, the things that entertain us. Inside that bag was a t-shirt for his favorite college football team, the 1st season of True Blood on DVD, and his favorite candy and gum. He then told me that those were the first and only gifts he had gotten for his birthday, with the exception of a bottle of wine when he visited the "ex". Really??? Just a bottle of wine??? Needless to say, he was thrilled and became quite affectionate. He sat right next to me on the couch, rubbing my leg and kissing my cheek. Um...confusing much? He did leave to go home after a couple hours.
Friday night, I surprised him and took him to one of his favorite sushi spots. Because he didn't know where we were going, he arrived at my place carrying three different outfits and asked me to choose. Once I chose the outfit, he stripped down in my living room to change. Really??? Did he have to wear my favorite boxer briefs and SHOW them to me? Not making this platonic thing too easy! Dinner was nice and comfortable. We were going to go for ice cream at the place next door, but the line there was out the door and down the street. We settled for Starbucks instead. Then we headed back to my place for a DVD. Once we got inside and I put my to-go box in the fridge, Stalker grabbed me as I came out of the kitchen and hugged me. He told me I had given him the best birthday ever. As he pulled away from the hug, he rubbed my hips and sides and gave me that "look"...the look I noticed when I realized we had crossed the friends with benefits line. I wasn't sure what to do, so I said, "Well, let's get this movie started!" I sat in my usual spot on the couch, but Stalker did not. He just paced around my apartment. I finally asked him if he was going to sit down. He said, "I guess so." When he did sit, he sat at the other end of the couch on the very edge of the cushion, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs. He looked like he was getting ready to jump up and run! He sat like that for close to an hour. I kept telling him to get comfortable, even joking once saying that I wouldn't attack him if he sat back on the couch. He blamed his position on the pain in his legs from playing softball the previous two nights. I'm still not sure if he just didn't trust me or didn't trust himself. Again, the night ended with us talking/arguing about the tension, although there really was none until we got to the couch. He told me that he realized he shouldn't have been so affectionate the night before if we were trying to keep it friendly. He left around midnight.
Monday night rolls around, and I had plans to meet a girlfriend out for bowling. Since Friday night's incident I had only heard from Stalker a couple times via text. I told him that we would be bowling and let him know he was welcome to join us. Honestly, I thought he would bow out, but he popped up at the bowling alley and closed it down with us. He had never met this friend of mine before, and yet he conversed with her more than he did with me! She even noted the tension between us. He didn't look me in the eye, and he definitely wasn't his usual chipper self. After we all went our separate ways, I called him to address the issue. I mean, I'm willing to be friends, but it shouldn't be so strained. He claimed he didn't realize he had gone so far in the opposite direction of our usual "couple-y" behavior but understood where I was coming from when I gave him examples of his unusual behavior.
Tuesday, in an attempt to mend our strained friendship, I invited him to come over for dinner after work. All the food was cooked and ready for consumption when he arrived. We even cracked open a bottle of wine, and things were going smoothly. We were enjoying one another's company again! After dinner, I made my way to my spot on the couch with my wine glass in hand. He followed me with his and the bottle of wine. He sat right next to me...like closer than ever! Again...confused! He put his arm around my shoulders, thanked me for dinner, pulled me to him, and kissed me! What tha???? Make up your mind already!! I didn't make any comments. We were watching some of the first season of True Blood (I've never seen the 1st few episodes), and Stalker began rubbing his stomach...or I thought that was what he was rubbing! I asked if he was okay, and he said, "I have drunk penis". Um...what? He then explained that alcohol makes him hard. I just said, "And here I thought I made you hard." He laughed and told me, "Yeah, it's your toes in the candlelight." Then the conversation turned to the myth that alcohol makes it soft. Of course, under the influence of wine and my extreme horniness, I just had to ask if I could touch it. He told me yes, to my surprise. And that, my friends, is how we had a replay of our last sexual encounter on the couch. As I straddled him, he whined softly and feebly, "But we're not supposed to..." Neither of us stopped.
Both of us had other plans later in the night, so he left soon after, giving me a hug and a kiss. I felt like shit for doing it, even though I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know this will just push him further away.