Sunday, November 15, 2009

Happy Birthday Stalker

Sigh. So this was the dreaded weekend. Stalker's birthday weekend with the "ex". He is still with her. I've heard nothing from him since Thursday night when he sent me a text to let me know he made it there safely. Wow! Yeah, so now all I can think about every night is him wrapped around her instead of me. I didn't realize how difficult this weekend would be. I sent him a text earlier today saying happy birthday, and of course, I got no response. Sigh.

For those of you wondering how the rest of our talk went on Tuesday night, here goes. He came over to spend the night. The talk took place as we were lying in bed. I again told him that I didn't want him to go. He explained that this weekend was about he and the "ex" deciding what they were going to do. The conversation then moved to his feelings about me. I asked him when he realized he felt for me as more than a friend. He said it was when my grandfather died. He said he noticed that he constantly worried about how I was feeling and how I was handling it. He knew then that he had crossed the friend line, because he just wanted to comfort me. He went on to describe how being with me was like a "breath of fresh air" and that he didn't know he could feel this way about someone else. It confused him, because he thought he was supposed to be with "her". He knew that he crossed the line when he wanted to see me all the time, if only for a few minutes. So he knew before I did really! I came right out and asked Stalker if he really wants a relationship with his "ex". His response? "I don't know." Uh duh! Shouldn't that be a clue??? He then said that he needs to talk to her about it this weekend. I then asked if he wanted what was going on between me and him to end, and he told me no. Again....duh! Next I asked what will happen to us if he gets back together with her. He said, "I guess we will have to go back to being friends." I said, "Is that what you want? Could you do that?" He said, "It would suck, but it's what we would have to do if I'm in a committed relationship."!! All I could say is "Do you even hear yourself? You practically admitted you don't want the relationship!" We talked a little more, but the conversation basically went in circles with no real answers. He doesn't know what he wants. He said he just wants everybody to be happy. Um...buddy...someone is going to be unhappy in the end. That's the ugly part of a love triangle. To make matters worse, Stalker's car wouldn't start on Wednesday morning, so I had to take him to work, making me extremely late to my job! His dad brought him over to get his car during his lunch. I still wonder what he told his dad about where he spent the night before.

Since I had the sinking feeling that I was going to be the unhappy one, I decided to make his last sexual experience with me one he would never forget. Stalker came by my place after work on Wednesday evening. I met him at the door in a sexy black and green nightie with no panties. I had the candlelight and LOTR playing on the TV. I pulled him into my apartment and undressed him while I let my lips and tongue wonder all over his body. I led him to the couch, sat him down, got on my knees and gave him a BJ he will never forget. Just before he was about to cum, I straddled him and rode him until he was about to explode. He told me that was his favorite "nookie time" with me ever. This is the first and only time we neglected to use a condom and he didn't pull out. Let's pray that my BC pill really does work! I've never tested it!

After we laid around in the after-orgasm glow, it was back to reality. Stalker had to meet "her" mother to get some things to take to "her" for her new apartment. Isn't that nice of him to travel all that way to take "her" things for his birthday weekend? I wonder if "her" mother could smell me on him...

Before you all start with the comments, yes I know you may think I disrespected myself, but I wanted to enjoy Stalker one last time before this weekend. I do have hopes that he comes back and wants to try things with me, but I am sad as that makes me.

In other news...when I went out with some girlfriends last weekend, I met a new guy. We will call him Mr. International. He is obviously a foreigner to this country. He seemed like a nice guy, and we talked for quite a while. I gave him my number. I figured if nothing else, he may be a good distraction from Stalker, as you all know I've been looking. On Wednesday just when I thought I wouldn't hear from him, I received a text asking me if he could call me after 7:00 when he got home. I told him sure and I was looking forward to talking to him. Uh...he called at 10:45. And yeah, I was already asleep. Really not a good time for a first conversation when you are a school teacher! The next day I texted him to let him know I was already asleep. So....he tried again on Thursday 10:00!! Really??? Not much better. Again, I was already asleep. You would think he would catch on, right? So Friday, he called at 12:45 in the afternoon. Hello???? I'm a teacher!!! Can't chat during class! By now, I was already irritated. When I listened to his voicemail, he suggested we get together on Saturday. Unfortunately, I was headed out of town to visit my BFF. I sent him a text to let him know I would be out of town for the weekend. So sometime Friday night I guess he thought it would be a good idea to call again. He left a voicemail saying that he hopes I like talking on the phone. He also said it's okay that I went out of town. I'm not real sure what to think of that statement, as he said it like I had asked his permission! So far Mr. International is off to a rocky start.


The Angel and Demon Within said...

Loved having you here this weekend! Don't worry it won't be long and you can come and visit me in our new "city."

You gave Stalker a chance. You gave yourself a chance. It's in his court now. If it doesn't go your way you will at least know that you did try. That's better than walking away before you ever give it a go and then always looking back wondering.

I of course think he will be one stupid MF if he let's you get away.

Mr. International... *giggle... I heard that last voicemail and thought he sounded like he was "loving" himself while he was talking. Yeah, I think I'd avoid all those calls and texts. It all just freaked me out.

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

I'll withhold my comments about this post, and just say that I do not envy your position. I hope you can find your way out safely.

crys said...

i love this blog. i've been reading for awhile, and i love your honesty. it takes a lot to just put yourself out there like this...and i appreciate you for it.

now with that said - i have to give you the obligatory, 'i hope you've seen the results of his bloodwork'......unprotected sex in 2009? especially when i'm sure you know he's having unprotected sex with his girlfriend...that was a HUGE gamble on your part - more than just your feelings dear, but your LIFE.

i pray all ends well.

SaneAndSingle said...

It was a huge gamble. I've thought about it everyday since it happened. I have not had unprotected sex with anyone since my ex-fiance many years ago. I'm not really sure what I was thinking, or rather what I wasn't thinking!

Thanks for the well wishes and the prayers. They really are much appreciated. :)

jo said...

i'm glad that you and stalker finally had a proper talk. even though it kinda did go round in circles with no proper answer. but i hope things start to get clearer soon.

Dater at Large said...

I hope there is some useful resolution quickly... whether you continue with your relationship or not, the middle ground is the yuckiest. I'm pulling for you!

Roxy said...

well I totally think how you've handled the situation is GREAT.

You talked to him and he clearly is an idiot.

You gave him unbelievable sex which is a very sweet form of revenge.

And you met a new guy... who is clueless, but nonetheless may be a fun toy in the meantime.

We've all done this to ourselves and will repeat the behavior.

I think you'll do just fine in life.

little miss angry said...

a 3some is never good, and you're right somebody is going to end up unhappy. the good thing i see about this is, its all out in the open. no lies. well at least on your part. i really hope things work out the way you want them to.

mr. international eh? waiting to see how this pans out.. :)

Tom Bailey said...

I hope that things workout for you on this search for whatever type of guy you are looking for you have looked for awhile. Have you considered charitable events? I did not see that on your blog list search yet.

Just a thought.

Best regards

Jenny DB said...

HHAHAHAH OMG I love Mr. Internationals message!!

Morgan said...

HATE circular conversations, just end up more depressed than you started and still without solutions.

Love Mr. International's retartedness... what happened to him?