I Hate Funerals

My grandfather passed away this past week. The funeral was yesterday, and the worst part of it all?? My mom's face. I hate to see her cry. It tears me apart inside. That's all I'll write about that.

Needless to say, there has been very little to report on the dating front since my last entry. Stalker came over Thursday night to console me a little before I left to go out of town for the funeral Friday morning. He was sweet and cuddly. Nothing more. I returned home late last night, and he came over again (with a bottle of my favorite liquor in hand) to spend the night with me. Again, nothing more than cuddling. The cuddling was good though...quite enjoyable. My allergies were acting up, and he got out of bed at 3:00 AM to go to the store for medicine. See? He is thoughtful, even though he is still in "negotiations" with his ex. That makes it harder not to like him as more than a fuck buddy though. We did talk a little about his situation last night, and I think he really is confused about what he really wants. She has told him that she doesn't want a long distance relationship unless they actually plan to get married...basically an ultimatum for an engagement ring. He said he isn't ready for that yet, and that is the issue that they are dealing with. He said that they both have to make some changes if they are going to be together for a lifetime. I told him that they shouldn't have to change themselves in order to be together if they really want it. I was blunt with him and told him that if he really truly wanted to be with her, then he wouldn't have been in my bed with me. It's just the way I see it. He admitted that he does believe that they are just having a hard time letting go out of comfort. He even said that he hopes when she moves away that she will find real happiness and realize that she can indeed live without him. In the next breath, he began to plan a weekend getaway for me and him. I just have to remind myself that it is what it is and to just enjoy it for that. He did, at one point in the night, ask me, "So what am I to you?" My response..."What do you mean exactly?" He asked, "If one of your friends asked you what is going on with you and Stalker, what would you say?" All I could answer is "a friend." I'm not sure what he was fishing for.