This past weekend I watched Sunshine Cleaning. I don't know how many of you have seen it, but it left me speechless. And I'm not sure I meant that in a good way. I got it because I thought it would be a fun little dark comedy, but it wasn't. It was dark, almost too dark. Well hell, it was like real life!
These lines spoken by Rose, Amy Adams's character, hit waaaay too close to home for me... "There's not a lot that I am good at. But I'm good at getting guys to want me. Not date me, or marry me, but want me." I have expressed this thought in so many words to friends of mine, but this character summed it up quite nicely. Men rarely want to stay in the "friend zone" with me, nor are they ever "at a place in life for a relationship".* What is it about some women that makes them fall into this category? What makes us undesirable for marriage and/or long term relationships? And before you answer that it could be the way we dress or carry ourselves, please be aware that I am more conservative in my dress than most single women I know. I believe there is a way to be sexy without seeming trampy. I am not a fan of flaunting excessive skin. I don't talk dirty**, nor do I have a reputation for giving it up on the first night. I do like to have fun and laugh, trying not to pressure anyone into anything they don't want. Men have often told me I'm "like one of the guys, but sexier". Um yeah, ok...
Anywho...MatchMan is officially a thing of the past. I'm done for good. Really. Nothing new took place between us. He told me he loves me,***but he can't be the man he needs to be for me. No shit, Sherlock! I figured that out a while back! What took his slow ass so long?
As for Stalker, he is still hanging around. We like to bowl together. And yeah, the tension is gone, because I broke my promise to myself and to you guys. I gave him a taste of the cookie, and he likes it. Yeah, yeah, please no speeches. I'm very aware that it probably wasn't the best decision I've ever made, but let me say it all started with a little too much Jack Daniels in both our systems one Friday night. I was lonely...he was lonely, and now neither of us can get enough. I'm just enjoying it for what it is. Blame it on my inner Cougar.
**most of the time
***yeah, ok whatever