The Loss of Life

The LD Man lost one of his closest friends this past week. The guy was not very old (early 40's). He was excercising and complained of a headache. Suddenly, he was down. He suffered from an aneurysm, and was on life support for several days. This man had a wife and three kids. It's so very sad.

It has made me do a lot of thinking though. The time we have here on this earth is undetermined. How many days have we wasted stressed out, pissed off, sad, or feeling sorry for ourselves? Why do we get stuck for YEARS in careers or relationships we abhor?

Shouldn't we spend every moment we can appreciating those in our lives, enjoying the few precious moments given to us? Shouldn't we be happy with our partners? In our careers?

I've been thinking about running away from home lately! The only thing tying me down is Mr. Mortgage, and I'm thinking about breaking up with him! I want to be free to be happy and to enjoy those I care about.

Sickness, Cabin Fever, and Loneliness

My doctor won't let me go to work for the rest of the week. Yesterday I awoke to a small campfire in my throat! Oh the pain! I managed to crawl out of bed and get ready for work. While driving to work in a torrential downpour, I realized just how badly I felt. As soon as I got into my office, I called and made a doctor's appointment for a couple hours later. I left work early to find out that I have some sort of infection similar to strep. My doctor laughed when I mentioned work. He said, "Haha, you aren't going there until next week!" So I'm stuck at home, miserable. I have very little food and drink. Damn, this is when a husband or boyfriend would come in handy. But nooooo, I have to actually take care of myself! *Off to pout now*

Texting=NO SEX!!

So I found this woman's speech about texting on youtube, and I thought it was interesting. Tell me what you think about her theories! Ahem, I hope she doesn't mind me spreading her views around! ;)

The FWB Strikes Again!

Due to an exhausting week, I hit the sack early last night. As I was lying in bed watching Clueless (got a problem with that?), the text alert on my cell went off. After a few minutes, I rolled over to see who it was. Lo and behold, the FWB strikes again! The following is the text message in its entirety:

FWB: "Can I come fuck you tomorrow?"

You may ask yourself, "Did Sane respond to this asinine behavior?" The answer is a resounding "NOOOOOO!!!!"

Need I remind you that I haven't had sex with nor spoken to this man in close to four months! That text wouldn't have been quite so surprising when we were doing the deed and in contact on the regular. He has sent me the random text during that time about wanting to get some. I've given him no attention. I mean, would it pain him too much to just pick up the phone and dial my number?

The lack of actual conversation is what began to turn me off during our "relationship". Yes, I'm aware that it was simply a sexual thing, but if you can't stimulate my mind just a lil bit, I get BORED!! So yeah, all desire for the FWB is gone, daddy gone!

$1 Movie Night

This guy has gone text-mad yet again. While at work, I received a text from the Mad Texter* that said, "R U ignoring me?"

My response: "What do u mean? Haven't heard from u."

Mad Texter*: "I texted u the wk before last. U busy tonight? I'm going to c the movie (Wanted) at the dollar theater at 7:45."

Me: "I didn't get a text from u. What dollar theater?"

He then gave me directions to the theater. I let him know I was still at work and would let him know later. Obviously, I didn't go.

*Name changed to protect the texting fool.

Updates on the FWB and the LD Man

Celibate I still am! Hooray me! The FWB continues to text me occasionally, asking when he can come get it! LOL I guess he feels that persistence will pay off. He also told me that he went by my old class room looking for me when he went back to work. I'm not sure how he missed that fact that I wasn't going back to that job. DOH!

The long distance man that I've been talking to is still hanging around. We still haven't made a plan for a meeting. Due to my job switch, money has been ugly! He actually offered to give me money to help out...not loan...but GIVE! Huh? I'm not sure how to take that. I've never had this happen, and I've never asked for money from anyone.

Why?

Way back when, while I was in grad school, I worked with this guy. We broke our own rules and had a little fling. He was a few years younger than I, but we had a good time together. I'm not really sure what exactly brought it to an end. It was never a deep, meaningful relationship though.

Fast forward about seven years....I got a friend request on one of those social utility web sites from the man who disappeared! We chit-chatted through email and such occasionally. We learned that we both moved to new cities and now live about 350 miles apart. We spoke rarely for about a year, only when one of us would say hello on the social utility site. Eventually, we began to talk on the phone, and soon it became a daily appointment.

We arranged a trip for him to come visit me for a long weekend. We had what I thought was a good time. He was as attractive and sweet as ever. It was like old times. We went to an amusement park, had dinner with friends, cuddled while watching movies. The last day of his visit, I felt as if he was more distant and less affectionate. Silly me...I thought communication was best and asked if he had lost interest or something (not exactly in those words). He got pissed! We had a little tiff, but we made up (hehe). I thought we were cool when I dropped him off at the airport. After that, he didn't call me for weeks. He ignored any messages I left, except one. He sent me a text message saying that I made him feel like "shit". Huh????

Fast forward five months....he is calling again. Calling like nothing ever happened...no mention of the past. Why?

Motions

I want to apologize for my lack of witty dating stories lately. I haven't been feeling witty, nor have I felt like dating. I have, however, been doing a lot of crying.

Days come and go...I'm not happy, but I'm not really sad all the time either. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm just going through the motions of life.

Eyecandy

I started a new job last week. There isn't one little piece of sweet eyecandy anywhere to be seen! If I have to actually spend 8 or more hours a day in a building, please sprink it with eyecandy!

Hot Sex

I was just watching an old episode of Sex and The City. It's the one just after Carrie first cheated on Aiden with Big in the hotel. Her flashbacks to the act are soooo fucking hot! God, that's the kind of sex I want, no need!! That's want I'm holding out for. It's the animalistic, sweaty, got-to-have-you sex. It's been a long time since I've connected with a man like that. If you don't know the episode and scene I speak of, you need to brush up on your SATC.

But here's a little taste for ya!

I can do it!!!

I'm sticking to my guns! That's right...I STILL haven't had sex! It has been just over 2 months since I last had sex. I've gotten over the sex-craze hump, so to speak. I don't think about it nonstop anymore. As a matter of fact, I rarely think of it at all. Is that normal? I think it helps that I haven't really been dating either. I've been concentrating more on myself rather than trying to hook up with someone.

I have been talking to a man I met on a dating website almost 2 months ago though. We haven't met live and in person yet, due to the distance (about 500-600 miles!), but we do plan to eventually. Maybe it's my blossoming interest in getting to know him that has blocked my sexual appetite for anyone local. I never thought I would ever consider doing a long distance thing with ANYONE, but something is different about this guy. I can't really put my finger on it, but it is. Is that crazy?