This Love by Pantera
If ever words were spoken
Painful and untrue
I said I loved but I lied
In my life
All I wanted
Was the keeping
Of someone like you
As it turns out
Deeper within me
Love was twisted and pointed at you
Never ending pain, quickly ending life --
(Chorus)
You keep this love, thing, child, toy
You keep this love, fist, scar, break
You keep this love
I'd been the tempting one
Stole her from herself
This gift in pain
Her pain was life
And sometimes I feel so sorry
I regret this the hurting of you
But you make me so unhappy
I'd take my life and leave love with you
I'd kill myself for you, I'd kill you for myself --
(Chorus)
No more head trips
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Surgery Sucks!
But having my mom visit for a week and a half made it better! Yes, I finally had that knee surgery last Friday. The recovery is going better than I thought it would. I have been to physical therapy twice this week and been doing my "homework" the therapist assigned. I surpassed my first week's goal of bending my knee 90 degrees by about 12 degrees! Yay me! I celebrated with red velvet cake and an ice pack to the knee for 15 minutes! My mom traveled south back to her home today. I'm going to miss her. She came to stay with me last Wednesday. This was the most time alone my mom and I have spent together in years. Believe it or not, I didn't want to squeeze her head off!
So yeah, no dating right now. The crutches aren't a very appealing accessory, I'm sure. I'll be back out there in 4-6 weeks! :)
So yeah, no dating right now. The crutches aren't a very appealing accessory, I'm sure. I'll be back out there in 4-6 weeks! :)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Ch-ch-ch-changes!
Yes, I have been neglecting blogland again. I have good reasons.
#1- I've been self reflecting. I need to make some changes in my life. I mean if I am not happy alone, how can I expect anyone else to be happy with me? My job eats away at my soul daily. Don't get me wrong...I do enjoy teaching kids. But it CONSUMES every bit of me...emotionally, physically, and mentally most of the school year. I'm not your average class room teacher. I am a special educator, and I love my kids. Sometimes that love leaves no room in my life for anyone else. So...I'm thinking a career change is in order for me to have a life beyond my work.
#2- I'm still absolutely head over heels in love...with my dog! All spare time goes to him and our adventures in the dog park and PetsMart! I still haven't met anyone of interest at the dog park. I take that back. I've met interesting people, just not ROMANTICALLY interesting. I meet very nice young couples and elderly ladies. And before you ask, yes we go to a couple different dog parks for some variety.
#3- I've injured myself yet again. I over slept last Wednesday and was running late for work. I pulled into the parking lot just as 1st period was beginning. In my rush to get into the building, I just fell face down onto the sidewalk. No, I didn't trip...I was walking and then I was splayed across the concrete, breaking my phone, my pen, and my ribs. I continued to work Wednesday and Thursday in pain. Finally, Friday breathing became almost unbearable. I let HR make me a doctor appointment (yay workers' comp!). The doctor put me on work restrictions, but my administration said that I couldn't perform my duties with those restrictions. And now I have a forced vacation until the doctor releases me to work again. My friend, Angel and Demon, says that God sent an angel to trip me so that I could have a mental vacation. Should've had that knee surgery last week, as originally planned, so I could at least collect short-term disability!
#4- I've not met any men from online or elsewhere. As a matter of fact, I haven't even cared to think about dating, or even sex. I must be sick!! It recently just dawned on me that I've had no man or sex drive for several months. I blame it all on #1!
#5- My damn blog has been attacked by spammers!! Every time I log in, I have crazy sex sites that have left comments as anonymous users! Has this happened to anyone else? How do I shake them off?
#1- I've been self reflecting. I need to make some changes in my life. I mean if I am not happy alone, how can I expect anyone else to be happy with me? My job eats away at my soul daily. Don't get me wrong...I do enjoy teaching kids. But it CONSUMES every bit of me...emotionally, physically, and mentally most of the school year. I'm not your average class room teacher. I am a special educator, and I love my kids. Sometimes that love leaves no room in my life for anyone else. So...I'm thinking a career change is in order for me to have a life beyond my work.
#2- I'm still absolutely head over heels in love...with my dog! All spare time goes to him and our adventures in the dog park and PetsMart! I still haven't met anyone of interest at the dog park. I take that back. I've met interesting people, just not ROMANTICALLY interesting. I meet very nice young couples and elderly ladies. And before you ask, yes we go to a couple different dog parks for some variety.
#3- I've injured myself yet again. I over slept last Wednesday and was running late for work. I pulled into the parking lot just as 1st period was beginning. In my rush to get into the building, I just fell face down onto the sidewalk. No, I didn't trip...I was walking and then I was splayed across the concrete, breaking my phone, my pen, and my ribs. I continued to work Wednesday and Thursday in pain. Finally, Friday breathing became almost unbearable. I let HR make me a doctor appointment (yay workers' comp!). The doctor put me on work restrictions, but my administration said that I couldn't perform my duties with those restrictions. And now I have a forced vacation until the doctor releases me to work again. My friend, Angel and Demon, says that God sent an angel to trip me so that I could have a mental vacation. Should've had that knee surgery last week, as originally planned, so I could at least collect short-term disability!
#4- I've not met any men from online or elsewhere. As a matter of fact, I haven't even cared to think about dating, or even sex. I must be sick!! It recently just dawned on me that I've had no man or sex drive for several months. I blame it all on #1!
#5- My damn blog has been attacked by spammers!! Every time I log in, I have crazy sex sites that have left comments as anonymous users! Has this happened to anyone else? How do I shake them off?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
No Sexy Songs Today...
I know my posts on here have been few and far between. Like I've said before, work is insane. I've pretty much settled into a week day routine. I go to work, come home, feed the animals, and take my dog for a walk to to the dog park. I keep thinking one day I might run into a single man at the park. So far, no such luck! There was a guy there the first two times I went. He had a Boxer, and he was pretty cute (the man, that is...). He actually approached me and asked me where I work. When I told him, he said he knew me from somewhere but couldn't figure it out. Hmmm...the second time he showed up just before my four-legged boyfriend and I were leaving. We spoke briefly, and I haven't seen him again. All the other men at the dog park that I've spoken with have been married. Boo!
Have I mentioned that Ex-coworker resurfaced again? He did via text. He got all bitchy when I told him I didn't see the point of him visiting. A couple days later he emailed me to apologize and told me he would like to pick up where we left off. Hell, I'm not even sure where we left off, he comes and goes so much!
And about my friend and FB, I've called and messaged her, only to get no response. I would try to request her again, but apparently she has blocked me from contacting her on FB. This friend of mine has been known to take things personally and just cut people out of her life with no discussion. She had just never done it to me before. Mature, huh?
Oh yeah, I found out that young coworker set a date for his wedding last week. Good luck to him on that!
Still sexless in 2010...when does one begin the revirgination process?
Have I mentioned that Ex-coworker resurfaced again? He did via text. He got all bitchy when I told him I didn't see the point of him visiting. A couple days later he emailed me to apologize and told me he would like to pick up where we left off. Hell, I'm not even sure where we left off, he comes and goes so much!
And about my friend and FB, I've called and messaged her, only to get no response. I would try to request her again, but apparently she has blocked me from contacting her on FB. This friend of mine has been known to take things personally and just cut people out of her life with no discussion. She had just never done it to me before. Mature, huh?
Oh yeah, I found out that young coworker set a date for his wedding last week. Good luck to him on that!
Still sexless in 2010...when does one begin the revirgination process?
Friday, April 16, 2010
Sexy Song of the Week
How Low by Ludacris
This song just reminds me of my days in the club, shaking my ass. It's nasty, of course...it's Luda! Sigh...I'm old!
This song just reminds me of my days in the club, shaking my ass. It's nasty, of course...it's Luda! Sigh...I'm old!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Rough Day on FB
So, I logged into FB on my laptop today, instead of my usual glance at my FB app on my BlackBerry. What's the number one story on my news feed??? The FIRST thing I see?? FWB is in a relationship. Nice...yay! Just a few weeks ago, my ex (whom I've never discussed here actually) added me as a friend there. He got married last year! Another yay! You do realize these yays are sarcastic, right? Just in case some of you are just now tuning into my blog and don't know me yet, I thought I should state the obvious (obvious, that is, if you know me).
And if that wasn't enough to make my insides turn inside out, I went to the profile of one of my "best friends" to leave a comment and found she had deleted me as a FB friend! Does that mean I'm no longer her real life friend? I know I forgot to call her back the other day, but I did text her a couple days ago to get no response. Could that cause the end of a friendship?
It all just hurt so badly...
And if that wasn't enough to make my insides turn inside out, I went to the profile of one of my "best friends" to leave a comment and found she had deleted me as a FB friend! Does that mean I'm no longer her real life friend? I know I forgot to call her back the other day, but I did text her a couple days ago to get no response. Could that cause the end of a friendship?
It all just hurt so badly...
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