My Weekend

Well it wasn't as busy I thought it would be. There were no dates and no haunted houses. Clean cut and Bad ended up having to work, and the other guy actually "forgot" we had plans! Both of them were sending me texts and calling all week long. Then suddenly on Friday afternoon, my phone went silent. Forgetful (as he will be called from now on) did apologize. He even offered to be my massage homework, because he knows I have to do two a week. Gee...wasn't that sweet of him?

I lied...

not purposely or anything. But it looks as if my 2 dates has become ZERO dates. :-( And I'm not even sure why.

2 Date Weekend

Yeah, I have two dates this weekend. I have a first date with a new dude tonight. We met a while back on POF, but we never actually met in person. We have emailed and sent texts a few times over the last couple of months. We finally moved to phone conversations. From our text conversations, I wasn't all that interested. Once we spoke on the phone, I thought a little more of him. So we have decided to have a meet and greet tonight when I get off from work.

Tomorrow evening, I'll be watching college football with Clean-cut and Bad. We are also talking haunted houses on Sunday, if he doesn't have to work. Yay! So I'm off to work and to enjoy my busy, busy weekend!

To All The Boys I've Loved Before....

Katy Perry - Hot N Cold by EMI_Music

Hot N Cold by Katy Perry


You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know

And you over think
Always speak
Cryptically

I should know
That you're no good for me

[CHORUS]
Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(but you) But you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

We used to be
Just like twins
So in sync
The same energy
Now's a dead battery
Used to laugh bout nothing
Now you're plain boring

I should know that
You're not gonna change

[CHORUS]

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes

[CHORUS 2:]
Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(but you) But you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down, down...

Saturday night=Date night

I went on a date last night. It was a first date with a guy I met on Match. He definitely seems to be my "type" or at least what I tend to find attractive in a man. He is clean-cut looking with a little edge to him. By this, I mean he has tattoos. They aren't obvious tattoos. He hides them, like I do. For some reason, I have a thing for nice guys with a little "bad boy" hidden inside them.

Anyway, we met up at a sports bar for dinner, drinks, and college football. This also makes me a happy girl! He is about fours my junior, which isn't so bad. He is professionally employed and pretty intelligent, with a great sense of humor. We've made plans to see one another next weekend. We've been talking haunted houses and/or roller coasters! Hells yeah! :)

Oh yeah, FWB has been texting again. And yes, I respond but take any and every thing he says with a grain of salt. When he found out I was thinking about getting a roommate, he offered to move in with me. Uh yeah, sure...right, like that will ever happen.

Happy Hump Day!

Adele's voice gives me chills every time I hear it! This is such a beautiful song...


Someone Like You




I heard that you settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Sometimes Good People Have Sad Lives

Amongst de-junking my apartment, setting up my massage table, consulting with my best friend about her issues with her son's school system, and talking for an hour with my grandmother, I've been watching Brothers & Sisters on Netflix today. In the last episode I watched, Justin was feeling down because he was turning 30 and he was alone. His brother, Kevin, told him, "Sometimes good people have sad lives, but you aren't one of them." I think I may be one of them.

Every man I meet is totally wrong for me. Okay...maybe not every ONE, although I have met some doozies in my dating career! But I tend to mess up the decent ones with my insecurities. I think I have abandonment issues (thanks dad), so with my "witty sarcasm" I manage to push away any man that may have potential. I lash out with accusatory remarks when I feel like someone is "abandoning" me again. Of course, that just pushes people away more. This only happens with men...not girlfriends, family, or coworkers. Maybe I'm so jaded that I just can't believe that the "real thing" exists for me. I know so few TRULY HAPPY couples that it seems futile sometimes, even though I'm about as lonely as one can get. I have trust issues after being lied to time and time again. I am trying to keep my heart open and my feelings honest (sometimes too honest). Just some food for thought. I've been living in my head after watching too much Brothers & Sisters.

And then after all this thought, I read this quote somewhere: “Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”- unknown This is so, so true of me.

This is how I feel most of the time.

I just watched last night's Glee, and this song (sung by Rachel and Mercedes on the show) struck me. It could have been written about me.




Irene Cara
Out Here Own My Own (from Fame)


Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am
Do I fit in.
Make believin' is hard alone,
Out here on my own

We're always provin' who we are
Always reachin' for the risin' star
To guide me far
And shine me home
Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you

Until the morning sun appears
Making light of all my fears
I dry the tears
I've never shown
Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am
Do I fit in
I may not win
But I can't be thrown
Out here on my own
On my own