So this is the text conversation I had with RM yesterday. His last couple of statements really get under my skin. I love how he assumes (probably because I'm a woman) that what I'm telling him is a "phase" or "mood swing". This is why I cut the convo short. Well, I really was in the car, heading to the doctor office by that point. Oh yeah, and please excuse any typos and/or slang. I have fumble fingers on the Crackberry.
RM: Good a.m. Too hot in da a.m? Too hot in da afternoon? Too hot in da evening? Whats up, Big Poppa gotta have it! Oh yea I would like to c u 2!
Me: Suuure u want to see me...nice after-thought.
RM: Sure i do. But not gonna lie on the other part either! They go hand in hand
Me: Well I guess I shouldn't lie either. I'm bored. Yeah the sex is great but I need more...like convo, phone calls, qt. Maybe I'm more of a relationship type...
Not saying u have to be the 1 to give that to me. I know u don't have time for/want that so it's cool. I just know I'm nit happy being alone all the time.
RM: Understandable. Im tryin ti fit in when & how i can. My a.m appt cancelled. Have some time. Can come by, take a zrytec...lol. Hang out talk. Maybe time 4 a movie?
Me: See that's it...I don't want to be "fit" in when u have cancellation. I need/want to be a priority for some1. U have fam and kids. I have nothing. I would like my chance to be special. I have dr appt to get to right now anyway. Sorry.
RM: Ok. I dont know if u havin one of ur u wanna be in a relationship moments or if this is permanent. However i understand what u r sayin. Regardless im here as a friend if nothin else. Make a great day!
Me: I told u in the past that I would like a relationship. Just always had no prob w/ FWB situation until I realized I'm unhappy w/ just a part of a man.
RM: Ok. When did u realize u r unhappy w/part of a man? Bcuz in the past u also said u didnt want the drama of a relationship & a man smothering u 24/7. Thats why i asked if this is permanent or another mood swing.
Me: 1 can have a relationship w/out drama and smothering.
RM: Ok. I think u r bored & feelin emotional. No school right now. No hectic schedule & want to fill the void. Forgive me if im wrong. How can i help, if i can help?
Me: Driving now. Talk later.
As for MatchMan, I had to postpone our date last night, because I've been sick with some sort of stomach virus for 3 days now. Icky poo! We decided to reschedule for Saturday! I'm sooo excited and hate that I had to reschedule! I'll keep you updated!
15 comments:
sure you're the relationship type... and it 's annoying as hell when i guy chalks stuff up to womanly issues.
BUT
why not enjoy the sex while things heat up with MatchMan?
I would enjoy the sex if it wasn't always offered only at his convenience when he has a meeting cancel. I'm usually already out and doing something when I get those last minutes texts from him. I've tried scheduling time together, but he always has some excuse..."I get off work too late"..."I have the kids"..."The traffic will be too bad to come to your side of town"...whatever...I've heard them all. It gets frustrating when you're horny! LOL
Putting my head on the chopping block here...most marriages end up fitting the relationship "in the cracks" between work, kids and everything else...... and i have to admit ..its funny how women want to be first in a mans life then after the kids come "the kids come first" he may be a creature of habit (men do have pretty shallow patterns).... morning booty call is kinda suspect i would think..
f1trey- I know what you mean. I'm so naive to think that I will come first all the time (if ever), but would it be so hard to make plans with me for a Saturday night in advance? RM rarely makes time to hang out with me on weekends and usually contacts me via text at the last minute during the week. This has become an ongoing thing. Maybe that's cool with some people, but I'm bored with it. This pattern can never turn into anything serious. I mean we manage to actually see one another once a month (if that), and he will NEVER spend the entire night!
And also f1trey- RM and I aren't married...no where near it! So why should I treat it like a marriage?
hehehe I understand... its importnat to reveal who you are before you get married...so if you treat the courtship DIFFERENT than you would if you were married then you will hear the familiar "she wasnt that way when we were dating " story....Im not saying you would be different but I (personally) got the "bait and switch" and it was awful! Peace!
I have seen this scenario myself, so I understand where you are coming from. I think that everyone should take the time out to make their SO's feel special, whether married or single, with and without kids. That is the only way a relationship can survive.
OMG..sounds like a convo I had with a guy once.
You know I wholeheartedly support you and completely know where you're coming from. He is def. not relationship material and sounds like he's more an FB than an FWB... and barely that! Good riddance and focus on what you need in your life today. Even if this was a phase, you're entitled to feel it and honor it and not have to explain it to him. So tell us how Saturday was??!!
I'm on a boys are stupid tear at the moment so it's probably best I hold my tongue right now.
Yes the FB situation can be a little tricky. Esp when you realize that you want something more from it and realize that the guy doesn't have the same thing in mind.
That is where it can get a little messy.
From reading your conversation it is understandable that you would want to make things progress further and that you are trying to get your desired response by having the "conversation" with him.
However with that said, its communication insecurity to him, which is probably the number one reason why he only wants to be in this type of relationship.
I know its hard to hear, but I say if you are looking for a relationship, cut your losses with him and wait/look for a man who is in it for the long haul from the very beginning.
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You let him make you a booty call. There isn't anything wrong with that if it is just sex, but it seems it is one way, which tends to not work for everyone involved. Just my 2 cents.
Oh no, I wasn't asking him for a relationship. I was telling him that I was bored with the current situation. I know that he and I could never have a GOOD relationship. We are cool as long as things are light and friendly, but we don't communicate well on any deeper level.
In this convo, I was simply expressing that I prefer a relationship to the FB situation that we have. I don't want said relationship with HIM!
So you told him that you prefer a relationship to FB, yet you only have an FB option with him, but that's okay...just not your preference.
All he heard was, "I'll still sleep with you, regardless of your lack of communication since it doesn't work."
No, I've told him I'm not sleeping with him anymore. If he doesn't believe it, that's on him. At one time the sex was enough, but I'm bored with it now. LOL I have no problems with the booty call situation at all. I just need more than that at this point in life, I've learned.
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