So Why Are You Single?

My Weekend

2011-10-25T20:45:00.004-04:00

Well it wasn't as busy I thought it would be. There were no dates and no haunted houses. Clean cut and Bad ended up having to work, and the other guy actually "forgot" we had plans! Both of them were sending me texts and calling all week long. Then suddenly on Friday afternoon, my phone went silent. Forgetful (as he will be called from now on) did apologize. He even offered to be my massage homework, because he knows I have to do two a week. Gee...wasn't that sweet of him?

I lied...

2011-10-22T01:20:00.002-04:00

not purposely or anything. But it looks as if my 2 dates has become ZERO dates. :-( And I'm not even sure why.

2 Date Weekend

2011-10-21T09:39:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I have two dates this weekend. I have a first date with a new dude tonight. We met a while back on POF, but we never actually met in person. We have emailed and sent texts a few times over the last couple of months. We finally moved to phone conversations. From our text conversations, I wasn't all that interested. Once we spoke on the phone, I thought a little more of him. So we have decided to have a meet and greet tonight when I get off from work.

Tomorrow evening, I'll be watching college football with Clean-cut and Bad. We are also talking haunted houses on Sunday, if he doesn't have to work. Yay! So I'm off to work and to enjoy my busy, busy weekend!

To All The Boys I've Loved Before....

2011-10-19T15:42:00.003-04:00

Katy Perry - Hot N Cold by EMI_Music

Hot N Cold by Katy Perry

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know

And you over think
Always speak
Cryptically

I should know
That you're no good for me

[CHORUS]
Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(but you) But you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

We used to be
Just like twins
So in sync
The same energy
Now's a dead battery
Used to laugh bout nothing
Now you're plain boring

I should know that
You're not gonna change

[CHORUS]

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes

[CHORUS 2:]
Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up
(you) You don't really want to stay, no
(but you) But you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down, down...

Saturday night=Date night

2011-10-16T18:37:00.003-04:00

I went on a date last night. It was a first date with a guy I met on Match. He definitely seems to be my "type" or at least what I tend to find attractive in a man. He is clean-cut looking with a little edge to him. By this, I mean he has tattoos. They aren't obvious tattoos. He hides them, like I do. For some reason, I have a thing for nice guys with a little "bad boy" hidden inside them.

Anyway, we met up at a sports bar for dinner, drinks, and college football. This also makes me a happy girl! He is about fours my junior, which isn't so bad. He is professionally employed and pretty intelligent, with a great sense of humor. We've made plans to see one another next weekend. We've been talking haunted houses and/or roller coasters! Hells yeah! :)

Oh yeah, FWB has been texting again. And yes, I respond but take any and every thing he says with a grain of salt. When he found out I was thinking about getting a roommate, he offered to move in with me. Uh yeah, sure...right, like that will ever happen.

Happy Hump Day!

2011-10-12T13:14:00.001-04:00

Adele's voice gives me chills every time I hear it! This is such a beautiful song...

Someone Like You

I heard that you settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Sometimes Good People Have Sad Lives

2011-10-09T23:16:00.007-04:00

Amongst de-junking my apartment, setting up my massage table, consulting with my best friend about her issues with her son's school system, and talking for an hour with my grandmother, I've been watching Brothers & Sisters on Netflix today. In the last episode I watched, Justin was feeling down because he was turning 30 and he was alone. His brother, Kevin, told him, "Sometimes good people have sad lives, but you aren't one of them." I think I may be one of them.

Every man I meet is totally wrong for me. Okay...maybe not every ONE, although I have met some doozies in my dating career! But I tend to mess up the decent ones with my insecurities. I think I have abandonment issues (thanks dad), so with my "witty sarcasm" I manage to push away any man that may have potential. I lash out with accusatory remarks when I feel like someone is "abandoning" me again. Of course, that just pushes people away more. This only happens with men...not girlfriends, family, or coworkers. Maybe I'm so jaded that I just can't believe that the "real thing" exists for me. I know so few TRULY HAPPY couples that it seems futile sometimes, even though I'm about as lonely as one can get. I have trust issues after being lied to time and time again. I am trying to keep my heart open and my feelings honest (sometimes too honest). Just some food for thought. I've been living in my head after watching too much Brothers & Sisters.

And then after all this thought, I read this quote somewhere: “Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”- unknown This is so, so true of me.

This is how I feel most of the time.

2011-10-05T16:12:00.002-04:00

I just watched last night's Glee, and this song (sung by Rachel and Mercedes on the show) struck me. It could have been written about me.

Irene Cara
Out Here Own My Own (from Fame)

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am
Do I fit in.
Make believin' is hard alone,
Out here on my own

We're always provin' who we are
Always reachin' for the risin' star
To guide me far
And shine me home
Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you

Until the morning sun appears
Making light of all my fears
I dry the tears
I've never shown
Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am
Do I fit in
I may not win
But I can't be thrown
Out here on my own
On my own

New Job

2011-09-22T19:04:00.004-04:00

Yep...I've found one. It's only part time, and it's pretty crappy pay, but it's a job...at a SPA!! I'm going to be a receptionist. Luckily, it's just around the corner from my apartment, so I will save on gas. I start school on October 1 (yeah, a Saturday!), and I can't wait! I've never been so excited about being a broke college student! You would not believe how relieved I already feel just being away from the education system.

Stalker, of course, is still hanging around. Sometimes, there's sex, and sometimes there isn't. Either way it is comfortable. He makes me smile.

I quit...

2011-09-09T14:47:00.004-04:00

I did! I quit! I quit my job! I'm currently one of the unemployed in America. Due to my severe allergies, my doctor required me to move classrooms. The system wasn't willing to accommodate to a degree at which I would be comfortable, so I was left with the option to resign and become eligible for unemployment. Yay! I'm relieved and afraid at once.

I'll be starting a massage therapy program next month. Just pray that I get some sort of job to pay the bills.

*This post has been shortened and changed to protect my anonymity as much as possible. Excuse the lack of detail.

All Work and No Play

2011-08-14T16:21:00.002-04:00

Obviously, I'm back at work. This is it. It will be my last year. I can do it no longer. It sucks my soul, my spirit, and my love of life from me. If I could afford to do so now, I just wouldn't return again. Unfortunately, I'm not in the position to do so. The state has taken over my school under the guise of a grant. The teachers are constantly required to write up reports, crunch data, and attend "professional learning", leaving no time to actually teach. Until this country can get the state of education right and make the children the priority and not test scores, I can't be a part of it. We are teaching students how to take a test, not how to become productive members of society. This was not my goal 10 years ago when I first stepped into the class room. It's breaking my heart.

Old School Sexy

2011-07-27T19:37:00.001-04:00

Since I've Been Loving You by Led Zeppelin

Working from seven to eleven every night,
It really makes life a drag, I don't think that's right.
I've really been the best, the best of fools, I did what I could, yeah.
'Cause I love you, baby, How I love you, darling, How I love you, baby,
I'm in love with you, girl, little girl.
But baby, Since I've Been Loving You, yeah. I'm about to lose my worried mind, ah, yeah.

Everybody trying to tell me that you didn't mean me no good.
I've been trying, Lord, let me tell you, Let me tell you I really did the best I could.
I've been working from seven to eleven every night, I said It kinda makes my life a drag, drag, drag, drag..
Lord, yeah, that ain't right... no no
Since I've Been Loving You, I'm about to lose my worried mind.

Said I've been crying, yeah, oh my tears they fell like rain,
Don't you hear them, Don't you hear them falling,
Don't you hear them, Don't you hear them falling.

Do you remember mama, when I knocked upon your door?
I said you had the nerve to tell me you didn't want me no more, yeah
I open my front door, I hear my back door slam,
You know I must have one of them new fangled, new fangled back doors man.

I've been working from seven, seven, seven, to eleven every night and It kinda makes my life a drag...
a drag, drag, oh yeah it makes a drag.
Baby, Since I've Been Loving You, I'm about to lose, I'm about lose lose my worried mind.
Just One more, Just One more
Oh yeah, since I've Been Loving You, I'm gonna lose my worried mind.

Friends with Benefits?

2011-07-26T18:31:00.004-04:00

Have you all gone to see this movie?? If not, run out and see it now! Not only is Justin Timberlake just ridiculously yummy, he and Mila Kunis are also ridiculously hilarious! Of course, it had a typical and predictable Hollywood ending. But all the stuff leading up to it will keep you laughing and even empathizing with the characters.

Needless to say, this movie also reminded me of a couple of "relationships" I've had. *cough* FWB...Stalker *cough* I'm sure neither of those will have that nice, tidy Hollywood ending at the end of two hours of laughs and one little touching visit home to the family.

So...what's been going on? Oh, a whole lot of nothing. I've returned to work as of last week, so it's back to my busy busy schedule. I will make it a point to make time to relieve stress and relax a little this school year.

Needy and I were supposed to meet up last Tuesday night, but I didn't hear from him until 9:30 that night. He had the nerve to ask if I still wanted to get together. He claimed that he had sent a text letting me know he had to attend his sister's last minute birthday dinner. I never received said text. I'm not saying he didn't send it...I'm just sayin'. So, he asked for another chance and if we could meet up that weekend. He called me Thursday morning around 10:00. I sent a text telling him that I couldn't talk, because I was in training. He replied with, "I was just saying hey! I was thinking about this weekend." I responded later that evening asking what he was thinking about the weekend. Saturday around 5:45 PM, I got a text from him saying, "Hey what are you up to? Want to catch a movie or something?" Um...way to wait until the last minute, buddy! By this time I was out with a girlfriend. I told him that I had made other plans since I hadn't heard back from him in two days. Since then, he has been blowing up my phone daily!

It's a Hump Day Thing!

2011-07-20T14:23:00.002-04:00

All Night Thing by Temple of the Dog

Anytime Chris Cornell opens his mouth to sing, things get sexy!

Sad Face

2011-07-19T12:45:00.004-04:00

Ex-Coworker didn't make it to visit this past weekend, due to both of our schedules. He had to attend a wedding Saturday, so he wouldn't have gotten to my place until the wee hours of the morning Sunday. I had to get up and go to a Sunday lunch for my gay who is moving away this week. That was an all afternoon affair. Ex-Coworker and I decided it would be best if he plan a weekend just for us, so we can actually spend time together and talk to see what may be between us. When that weekend will be I'm not sure. Hopefully soon...

I got another bite on POF, but he doesn't seem real smart. He is a cutie though. We have spoken on the phone and sent texts over the last few days. We have yet to meet. When I mentioned meeting up tonight, he seemed bothered by the fact that I was only willing to give him a couple of hours. He called me "one of those". He said he doesn't understand the point of the "coffee date". He said that every women he met lately suggested that. I explained that the women wanted to just do a short meet and greet, so that they could get a feel for him without being stuck in a bad date all night. He then told me that if he can have a decent conversation on the phone with someone that he knew he would enjoy a "real date" with them. Needy much? Henceforth, he will be called "Needy".

Wish me luck...

2011-07-15T15:03:00.005-04:00

So Ex-Coworker is due to arrive tomorrow night. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. Guess I'll figure that out when I actually lay eyes on him...heh, I doubt that's all I'll lay on him! Yeah, yeah, I have the humor of a 13 year old boy at times. Lucky him...he will get to hang with my gays for the going away lunch we are having. But we are doing dinner with a lovely couple Sunday night. I'm sure he will like that much better, since it will involve tequila and straight people. I don't think Ex-Coworker is homophobic or anything, but he is definitely a manly man. Thank goodness he is an open-minded one.

Still no word from FWB. I love how he is willing to make something work between us. Oh, and yeah, that was most definitely sarcasm. No word from Coach or Old Friend the last couple days. But I didn't really expect anymore than that. Stalker has become a texting buddy for the time being, I guess. That's about it in my world of dating!

Oh...last night the gays, the other hag, and I went to a special double feature of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parts 1 and 2. The theater showed Part 1 at 9:00 and Part 2 at midnight. I thought it was rather fun. It is so interesting to see all the people who show up, dressed as the characters for the movies. I saw some very creative ones. I just wish I'd had my camera with me!

Have a fantabulous weekend, Blogland!

Here an ex, there an ex, everywhere an ex

2011-07-13T12:02:00.003-04:00

So I finally received a text from FWB yesterday. He told me that he was serious about wanting to actually pursue something more with me. Then, of course, he disappeared after a couple text exchanges. So there are still no answers. I won't believe crap from him until he actually acts on it. If he really wanted more, he would like maybe ask me out or something?! Silly little boys...

Ex-Coworker is scheduled to hit town in the next few days. Again, this is something I will believe when I see it. In the meantime, Old Friend continues to text. He has found yet another part-time gig where he currently lives. He says he has a few irons in the fire in my city. He hopes to be back here working and in school within the next couple of months. Again...silly little boys...

Yo, actions speak so much louder than words! Yeah, it's a cliche, but a very true one!

Sexy Song

2011-07-13T11:56:00.002-04:00

Why not a sexy song from country music's sexiest couple?

Faith Hill & Tim McGraw - Lets make love by beni4ka

Sober again

2011-07-11T16:06:00.002-04:00

Hey! I'm sober now!! And I'm thinking much more clearly! Not much went on during the weekend. I got a new tattoo. It's a big ass tatt on my back, and it still hurts like a bitch! I heard from Ex-Coworker. It was his birthday yesterday, and now he has decided he wants to visit me as a birthday gift to himself. So it looks like I may have a nice little dick-down coming my way. Can't have him around without doing all that...way too good to pass up!

Btw...I'm horny as all hell, but I'm afraid I've ruined the dick deliveries from Stalker. What the fuck was I thinking??

Yep...I'm still drunk...

2011-07-07T23:17:00.003-04:00

so here's a song...

One More Addiction by Natalie Imbruglia

First the good news
It's gonna feel very nice
Then the bad news
You gotta pay a heavy price
Rip tide. We slide we ride on a deep forbidden sea
Under we go - so slow
And you're hanging onto me
And I say

Oh Oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
Out of sight forever (From my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do

I reject you
But I can't follow through
I'd forget you
But you'd end up tappin' on my back door
Somehow I lost myself in a tunnel long and black
Somewhere. At the end, I pretend
There's a way of turning back

Oh Oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
Out of sight forever (From my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do

Take a breath
Let it out
All the things you frown about are meaningless,
ofcourse unless, you're doing this for real I guess
I meant to but
I don't know what
Is in the way and could I say
Its you I bet
I won't forget
Maybe I'm not ready yet

Oh Oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
Out of sight forever (From my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do.

Oh Oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
Out of sight forever (From my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do.

It's the only thing I know how to do.
It's the only thing I know how to do.
It's the only thing, the only thing that I
It's the only thing, the only thing that I
It's the only thing I know how to do.
It's the only thing, the only thing that I, know how to do.
'Cause I forget you.

I can't do this...

2011-07-07T19:43:00.002-04:00

shit anymore. There I've said it. I took last year off from dating, thinking I just needed to take some time off. And now it's July...I've been open and willing to take chances for seven months now. I can't play the games and can't deal with the lies that go along with dating. I'm too honest, fragile, and lonely. There I said it. I'm tired of the disappointment after disappointment. I'm tired of the "excuses" and the bullshit and the baggage. Why can't people just say what's real? Do people even have respect for others anymore? Do they ever look deeper than the surface? Fuck it. I'm done with the whole process...I'll be the crazy fucking dog/cat lady who plays with her toys to get off. Humans don't seem to know how to connect anymore.

P.S. I'm drunk.

Effed up again!

2011-07-07T14:43:00.005-04:00

As I've mentioned, I've allowed Stalker back into my life again. I told him and myself that I wouldn't get attached like I did last time. I do enjoy his company and the sex. We have a great time together no matter what we are doing. But intellectually I know that there is no future there. He won't allow it. Just as I said in my last post about the men from my past, they feel for me but won't allow anything deeper to progress past the casual.

Stalker came over for taco and margarita night last night. Before the main course, we had a little appetizer...in my bed. We followed the dinner with a little dessert of chocolate syrup and dick. Then we went for round three...yeah, round three!! Wow...just wow is all I can say! It's addictive. I woke up late today, still thinking about it, and that's probably because I could still feel it in my vagina. I wanted more. But I know it's illegal to keep a man as your sex slave.

I sent him an innocent enough text letting him know that he left his coupon books (don't ask) behind at my apartment. He asked if he could come by tonight and get them. Unfortunately, I'm meeting with the gays to plan a going away party for one who is moving away at the end of the month. So I suggested we go to a movie tomorrow night. Of course, he said he couldn't, because his weekends are "reserved for family time". I knew this, but for some reason it gets to me, and I continue to "test" him. I don't know why I do this to myself. It just brings back all the insecurities from two years ago when he was first in my life. I need to learn to relax and enjoy the moment. Instead, I started asking all these questions, which in turn, lead him to say I was getting "weird" and acting like we are a married couple. I told myself when he wanted back in my life that I wouldn't do this again...push for more than I know he can/will give. Part of it is that I'm jealous that he has family and I don't. It gets lonely when you're single and have no one to lean on.

Sexy Song for Hump Day!

2011-07-06T16:03:00.002-04:00

Happy Hump Day!!

Say Yes by Floetry

[intro]
see i been watchin you for a while
your smile and stuff
but i dont know if i can be wit you for tonight alright
is that alright baby, baby

[Verse 1]
There is only one for me
you have made that a possibility
we could take that step to see, um
if this is really gonna be,all ypu gotta do is say yes

[Chorus]
all you gotta do is say yes
dont deny what you feel
let me undress you baby
open up your mind and just rest
i'm about to let you know you make me so
all you gotta do is say yes
dont deny waht you feel
let me undress you baby open up your mind and just rest i'm about to let you know
you make me so, so, so ,so ,so ,so,so,so
you make me so, so, so,so so, so ,so,so uh

[Verse 2]
loving you has taken time (taken time)
but i always knew you could be mine
i recognize the butterflies inside me tonight(tonight)
all you gotta do is say yes

[repeat chorus]

[ad lib to end]

Are Men Recyclable??

2011-07-06T12:28:00.005-04:00

So the last couple days have been interesting...interesting indeed. Four men from my past have contacted me...via text of course. Because who is actually brave enough to dial a woman's number after screwing her over?!

First, there was Old Friend. I don't believe I've ever discussed him here before. He was a part of my life back in my 20's. We met online, then met in person, hated one another, had great sex once or twice, and have remained in contact on and off since then...yeah, for about 12 years. Old Friend has told me a couple times over the past few years that he believes that he and I are meant to be, but the timing has never been right. Yeah, I know...excuses, excuses. He currently lives about a 2 hour drive from where I live. This is all due to the fact that he has been unemployed. You see he has a journalism degree...not a good look in times of the world wide web. Anyone can be a journalist! So he has been working little part time gigs here and there but can't seem to find anything steady. He told me he has been expanding his search into other areas, and that he really wants to move back into my area. He also said once he has a steady job, he plans to be with me. Hmm...

FWB has been a Facebook friend all this time, so we have kept tabs on one another via Facebook stalking. We shot a couple messages back and forth over the weekend. In the end, I went off explaining to him about how he disappointed me and that I had wanted and expected so much more. It was therapeutic in a way. It may not have affected him much, but I think it helped me. Yesterday, FWB sent me a text asking if I still want more from him. I laughed and asked if he was offering. He said, "yes, are you accepting?" He then went on to tell me that he is currently at the beach but didn't bother to let me know when he would return. I'm not sure how to take this.

I awoke to a text from MatchMan this morning, telling me we need to talk and to call him when I woke up...duh...the text itself woke me! He wanted to explain to me why we were no longer friends on Facebook. He said his girlfriend had gotten in his account and deleted me. All I could say to this was, "Way to be a man and let your woman control you!" I won't deny that it hurt. I still and probably will always have a soft spot for MatchMan. We talked for a while and caught up. It was kind of awkward.

ThugPassion was a man I also knew in my 20's, long before this blog was ever born. He and I had a little fling...that lasted over several years. There was obvious chemistry but little maturity on either of our parts. Neither of us communicated well, and we both had walls around us that hot sex couldn't pull down. I learned a few years back that he had gotten married. Yesterday, I logged into my messenger (which I hadn't used since about 2007), and he was on there! We had a nice little conversation and got a little closure to our old situation. He admitted he always has a thing for me but could never let himself go and love me. This seems to be a trend with me? Why has been so difficult for the men in my past to let go and be with me...truly be with me?

More Pity Please?

2011-07-04T21:36:00.004-04:00

So I was looking at my label list, which includes all the men I've mentioned in this blog. Of those men, most have moved on while I've been stuck in Singleland. Check out this list, alphabetically of course:*

Doc- He is now engaged to a woman who doesn't live too far from me. I'm not quite sure when the wedding will take place.

Ex-Coworker- He is now in a serious relationship.

FWB- Also in a relationship. I found out that he and his girlfriend had a baby who died at birth a little over a year ago.

KH- In a serious relationship...complete with cute little pics all over Facebook.

MatchMan- In a serious relationship...

PoPo- Serious relationship...possibly married

Teacher Man- He is engaged and the wedding is scheduled to take place in a couple weeks.

young coworker- Got married last November.

So there you have it...maybe it wasn't them, but me.

* Most of the below information was gained via Facebook stalking. Don't judge me!

Pfft...Holidays...

2011-07-04T13:37:00.003-04:00

So every holiday that rolls around reminds me how alone I truly am. I manage to stay busy with work during the school year, and the holidays during that time don't seem too bad. I can always use the excuse that I just wanted to relax. But it's summer now, and all I have is time. Today is the 4th of July...everyone is spending the day with family and friends and swimming and cooking out. Where am I? The same place as usual...my apartment. No one has invited me to anything. I know they forget, because they are all involved in family plans. People tend to forget that I don't have that. Oh, how I yearn for it.

This song popped up on my iPod while driving home from the store earlier, and it really hit home.

To Coach or Not to Coach?

2011-07-03T14:35:00.004-04:00

Coach finally called me yesterday afternoon. Of course, it took a goodbye text from me to get that. My text said, "I'm throwing in the towel. I've read He's Just Not That Into You...lol. And obviously, you're not anymore!"

When he called, he tried to explain that he is indeed interested, but his schedule this summer was much worse and crazier than ever. He also explained that he is having a few financial difficulties, so he has been more stressed out than he has been in a while. He asked me if we could continue to talk and get to know one another. I'm not sure if this would be a waste of my time or not.

PMS Blues

2011-07-02T00:16:00.002-04:00

This week, the main staple of my diet has been ice cream, followed closely by Jack Daniels and wine. Healthy, right? I'm blaming it on my hormones. Stupid stupid PMS. I've been a sad excuse of a human this weekend...gluttonous I've been. Pity party all around! In addition, I'm coming off a dating high from last week.

Remember last week? It seems so long ago. Unlike last week, this week has been dateless, unless you count last Saturday when Stalker came over to watch a DVD and Tuesday when he came over for a little bon voyage nookie before he took off to LA for the rest of the week to visit his old college buddy. That is it...seems so boring (not that Stalker nookie is ever boring) after my whirlwind of dates last week.

As for Coach, still no phone call. On Monday, he sent a text telling me that I may expect a bit much from him right now. I was confused, because the last I'd heard is that he was planning to make more time for "us". So I asked him what he meant, as all I've asked of him is communication...no pressure for time. He then responded with "I guess you're right...sorry." When I asked what exactly he was sorry for, he said "not communicating more", to which I said, "There's only one way to correct that!" That was Wednesday. Fast forward to Friday morning, I sent a text telling him good morning in a last ditch effort. Four hours later, he finally responded with "Hey! I hope you are enjoying your down time." Brush off much?? I still tried to stay chipper and told him I was having a girls afternoon including pedis and a movie. *chirp...chirp* And then there was nothing...hint taken. I'm not exactly sure where this possible relationship went south. We were communicating daily for over a month, and our last date went well. Sigh...

In addition to my pity party, I noticed today that MatchMan had deleted me from his Facebook friends. I also noticed he is now in a relationship. I don't know why that bothered me, but it did. It isn't that I want him back, but maybe because it shows that he has moved forward in life, and I'm still spinning my wheels.

Sexy Song...

2011-06-29T19:07:00.001-04:00

"Hawkmoon 269" by U2

This isn't the actual video for the song, because there isn't one. This is some animated thing I found on Youtube that I thought was pretty cool.

Like a desert needs rain
Like a town needs a name
I need your love

Like a drifter needs a room
Hawkmoon
I need your love
I need your love

Like a rhythm unbroken
Like drums in the night
Like sweet soul music
Like sunlight
I need your love

Like coming home
And you don't know where you've been
Like black coffee
Like nicotine
I need your love (I need your love)
I need your love (I need your love)
I need your love (I need your love)

When the night has no end
And the day yet to begin
As the room spins around
I need your love
I need your love

Like a Phoenix rising needs a holy tree
Like the sweet revenge of a bitter enemy
I need your love

Like the hot needs the sun
Like honey on her tongue
Like the muzzle of a gun
Like oxygen
I need your love (I need your love)
I need your love (I need your love)
I need your love (I need your love)

When the night has no end
And the day yet to begin
As the room spins around
I need your love

I need your love...
[Repeat 9 times]

Like thunder needs rain
Like a preacher needs pain
Like tongues of flame
Like a sheet stained
I need your love
I need your love

Like a needle needs a vein
Like someone to blame
Like a thought unchained
Like a runaway train
I need your love

I need your love...
[Repeat 7 times]

Like faith needs a doubt
Like a freeway out
I need your love

Like powder needs a spark
Like lies need the dark
I need your love

In the heart of the heat of the love
In the heart of the heat of the love...
[Repeat until end]

Some things never change...

2011-06-27T18:10:00.001-04:00

When my high school friend came to visit, it was like we were back in high school again...and I definitely don't mean that in a good way. She drove from a city about two hours away, and she was extremely late due to thunderstorms. When we finally did arrive at the seedy little bar where our other friend was playing, she said, "Oh, there's a parking spot!" So I thought we had found a prime spot on the street. It was raining hard, and I didn't realize it wasn't a real spot until I looked back from the entrance of the bar. I stayed long enough to down one drink and progressively became more worried about my car. When I ran out into the rain to move it, there was a nice wet parking ticket on the windshield. I managed to find a REAL spot on the next block. When I returned, my friend was on her third drink. Soon after, my friend's band was done with their set, and they came to join us at the bar. Apparently my HS girl friend is still quite the hottie for her age, because the men in the band took pictures of her like she was some super model. She continued to down the drinks and started booty shaking to heavy metal music! I mean...REALLY?? I was quite embarrassed and very uncomfortable. We closed the bar down, and she stumbled out to the car (again in the rain). Once on the interstate, my HS girl friend started mumbling, saying we may have to pull over. Next I know, her head is hanging out of the window while vomit streaks the side and windows of my car. I pulled off to the side, so that she could open the door and puke on the ground like a proper lady. I did this twice on the way home. I honestly don't think I've ever had to pull over for someone to puke. She continued to dry heave once we made it back to my place. REMEMBER WE ARE IN OUR 30'S!! Shouldn't this behavior be behind us? I was so relieved the next morning when she left and said that she would be staying with another friend that night. She is still the same drunken attention whore she was back in the day!

In other news, not another word from Coach. Gee, imagine that! Stalker came over Saturday night and watched a DVD. And no...no hot sex...just cuddling on the couch and hand holding.

Addendum to my week...

2011-06-24T16:31:00.000-04:00

So I just got a text from Coach telling me that after this weekend he should have more time for "us". Hmmm...

Oh, I didn't really tell you all about him. He is about 7 years older than I am and divorced with an 8 year old child. This child is a very active athlete already, and Coach is quite involved in her athletic life. Apparently, her traveling track season is over after this weekend, and Coach is planning to make more time for me. We shall see...

My week in review

2011-06-24T12:21:00.001-04:00

Yeah, the title implies that I'm about to share just this week with you, but I must rewind a couple weeks.

It was two weeks ago today that I had my kitty angel put down. It was also the day that Stalker sent one of his random texts. I'm not sure that I've shared this here, but I hear from him occasionally. He would say hello sometimes, and others he would ask if/when we would ever see one another again. Due to different circumstances, I either didn't respond to him or life got in the way of us meeting up. This is a little of our text convo:

Stalker: When you taking me out on a date?

Me: Shouldn't that be the opposite way? I just left vet office. Had (Kitty Angel) put down today. :'(

Stalker: :'( oh no. I'm sorry. :-(

Me: Yeah...so it's a cryfest right now.

Stalker: I'm a little teary-eyed myself. If I can help in any way, let me know.

Me: Thanks. I'm out with my gay right now. He made all the arrangements bc I couldn't do it.

Stalker: Ok. Keep me updated.

The next day, I sent Stalker a text telling him that he could take me on a date Monday night. And take me on a date he did. We began with miniature golf, then went to one of those fairs that pop up in mall parking lots to eat funnel cake, and ended the night watching Thor in 3D. Because the movie had been out for a while, we had the theater to ourselves. Stalker even dared to cuddle with me during the movie. By the way, this was the first time that Stalker and I had gone to the theater to sit and watch a movie together! Crazy, huh?

Now rewind to about a month or so ago. I was just about to take my profile off POF when I received an email on there from what looked to be a handsome man, who also happened to be a teacher! Jackpot! Part of my dating dilemma is due to my lack of time during the school year and all the hours I put into lesson plans, grading papers, and editing the yearbook. This man would not only understand my schedule, his would be even worse because he is a coach! Double jackpot!! Coach and I spoke on the phone or texted everyday for a couple weeks, before we met at a Starbucks one afternoon. He was impressive, and we clicked. The downside? It was about 3 more weeks before we could find a mutual time to see one another again.

So...all that flashback brings me to my dating life this week.

Monday night: bowling with Stalker

Tuesday afternoon: lunch at Chipotle and dessert at Pinkberry with Stalker

Tuesday night: Fat Matt's BBQ and dessert at Cafe Intermezzo with Coach

Wednesday night: Dave and Buster's with Stalker (he even won me a monkey), followed by hot sex with Stalker...damn I missed his body on mine!

Thursday night: After Stalker's basketball game, he dropped off the new Jill Scott CD...and more hot sex!

It's now Friday afternoon, and one of my besties from high school will be in town tonight to go see the band of another high school friend play at a venue in the city. I'm sure she will spend the weekend with me, so this weekend will be dateless. I think I made up for it during the week, huh?

Some catching up...

2011-06-23T18:07:00.000-04:00

Last I wrote, I was telling you about my old and sick cat. Almost two weeks ago, I broke down and took my female kitty to the vet. She is no longer with us. The vet said that her symptoms could be part of many illnesses. The tests for those illnesses and any following treatments would be quite costly, and there was no guarantee of a cure. I made a tough decision and let her go.

The apartment has been empty, yet clean, without her. Tears have rolled a few times, but I know she is in a better place and no longer in misery. The worst part of it all is watching my other animals look for her, and listening to the male cat cry all night. RIP my angel kitty.

Sexy Song...

2011-06-22T15:53:00.003-04:00

"Hot Tottie" by Usher...the song speaks for itself...

I'm like oh Kimosabe
Your body is my hobby
We're freakin'
This ain't cheatin' as long as we tell nobody
Tell your girls you're leaving
I'll meet you in the lobby
I'm so cold, yeah I need that hot tottie
Hot Tottie (hot Tottie)
Hot Tottie (thought I'd never fall in love, thought I'd never fall in love)

I see you like to talk sh*t,
I hear you baby
Claiming you a bad b*tch, show me, baby
I'm a wild boy
You tryin' tame me, baby
To the were I get it from the high
Can you keep me faithful
Got a lot of girls
Got a lot of flava
That's why when I hit 'em they all need to return the favor
Yeah I hear you, what you sayin'
but hear me babe
That you can whip it to the point where I'm screaming your name

Said I'm tryin' get your clothes off
From what I'm seeing you look so soft
It's your body, what I'm goin' on
Say you go ride it, just don't fall off
Yeah I done had a lot of women
They tell me what they can do
But can you show me babe
ooooh you got me like'

I'm like oh Kimosabe
Your body is my hobby
We're freakin'
This ain't cheatin' as long as we tell nobody
Tell your girls you're leaving
I'll meet you in the lobby
I'm so cold, yeah, you that hot tottie
Hot Tottie (hot tottie)
Hot Tottie (thought I'd never fall in love, thought I'd never fall in love)

I'm a choosey lover
I pick 'em out
Talk a lot of sh*t, I hope its good as you putting out
Yeah, you fancy, huh?
I'm tryin' pull you out
See it's a lot of girls standing round
She say'
You claim you're the best
And I only want the best
So I say, ha

I ain't gonna be here long, girl
I'm tryin' get you home and get your clothes off
a couple lovin , then you doze off
You claiming it's better (?) if I take it all
So you go ride it, just don't fall off
Yeah I done had a lot of women
They tell me what they can do
But can you show me babe
Oooh you got me like

I'm like oh Kimosabe
Your body is my hobby
We're freakin'
This ain't cheatin' as long as we tell nobody
Tell your girls you're leaving
I'll meet you in the lobby
I'm so cold, yeah I need that hot tottie
Hot Tottie (Hot Tottie)
Hot Tottie (thought I'd never fall in love, thought I'd never fall in love)

I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold
I'm so cold, I'm so cold
Give me that hot tottie
Will you be my hot Tottie?
She said she wanna make me better
She wanna make me better

Wait a minute, mother f*cker

They call me King Hov, copy?
They call me King Hov, copy?
They call me King Hov, copy, copy, copy?
They call me King Hov, copy?
Big ballin' is my hobby
So much so they think I'm down with the Illuminati
My watch do illuminate
My pockets are Gottie
But I'm God body, ya'll better ask somebody
I was born a God
I made myself a king
Which means I downgraded to a human being
You was born a Goddess
I made you my queen
Which means we upgraded to Louis the thirteen
(Hot tottie)Hot Tottie, her body like cognac
Her momma like herb tea
We burned a couple of sacks
And after she sLeeped, I creeped all in her tee-pee
We did it Indian style, had the girls speaking
In tongue she like young, you hung, what you done, done
Stop it fore you wake up my momma she might (ahhhh)
Now that you've arrived it's time that I go...
I'm so cold, I'm so cold...

I'm like oh Kimosabe
Your body is my hobby
We're freakin'
This ain't cheatin' as long as we tell nobody
Tell your girls you're leaving
I'll meet you in the lobby
I'm so cold, yeah I need that hot Tottie
Hot Tottie (hot Tottie)
Hot Tottie (thought I'd never fall in love, thought I'd never fall in love)

I'm so cold, I'm so cold (ho)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold (ho)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold (ho)
I'm so cold, I'm so cold (ho)

Nothing to do with dating...

2011-05-28T00:11:00.003-04:00

Okay...you all know I have a dog. I'm not sure that I mentioned that I also have 2 cats. They are both about 8-9 years old, and I adopted them together when they were kittens. I've loved them all their lives. But now, they have come to a point where they shit outside the litter box, no matter how often I clean it or change the litter. I can clean it and 5 minutes later there is a pile of poo right NEXT to the box! One of them pukes nonstop. She has always had a sensitive stomach, but it has gotten to point that I need to clean my carpet weekly...not just vacuum but clean it! I'm so tired and too broke to constantly buy cat litter and cleaning solution. It has gotten to the point where I feel like all I do is work and clean up after these cats. I don't even look at them with love and affection anymore. They have become more of a burden; not to mention being the crazy cat lady with the nasty puke stains on her floor really isn't going to land me a husband. I don't know what to do at this point. I don't feel right having them euthanized, but I don't trust a shelter or another person to put up with them either. I just know that I can't deal with it anymore. Suggestions?

In sickness and in health...

2011-05-15T13:12:00.006-04:00

The Barber and I dated about 5 or so years ago for a few months. It didn't really end too well. We had different interests. I was interested in pursuing my hobbies, such as writing, photography, etc. He was interested in pursuing other women. He was a nice guy...too nice actually so he was always naive to some other women's motives. The Barber soon ended up becoming a daddy not long after we broke it off. I've spoken to him once or twice since then; the last time being about year and a half ago.

I was sitting in a faculty meeting a few weeks ago and received a text from a strange number asking if I was married yet or dating anyone seriously. When I asked who it was, it turned out to be The Barber. The Barber proceeded to tell me that he misses me and knows that we are meant to be together. He told me how much he had grown up and that he wants me to be his wife one day. I found this amusing and intriguing so I agreed to a meeting. We've since gone out a couple times; both of which he was at least 45 minutes late (due to helping some friend/family member out...remember that is the curse of the TOO NICE guy!). We text and/or talk everyday.

This week I've come down with a respiratory virus of some sort. Yet all he could do is complain that I haven't called him all week...that all we've done is text. I kept waiting for him to do the "boyfriend thing" and offer to bring me anything I might need or help me with anything I might need help with. Is that wrong?? Of course, he hasn't. Yesterday, I sent a silly text asking The Barber what was going on in the outside world where the healthy people roam. This fool started telling me what the weather was like! Duh! I've had to take my dog out; I'm well aware of the weather. Then this morning I sent a text saying how draining it was to grocery shop while this sick. He responded four hours later telling me not to over do it. I got snippy and said, "Well,my dog can't do it!" He just LOL'ed me and told me he doesn't want to catch what I have. Pfft...

Funny though...Stalker (yes, we speak occasionally, but nothing new) actually offered to be my errand boy as soon as I told him I was still sick. Something wrong with this picture, or is it just me?

I think I need a more assertive, yet nurturing, man than The Barber. I can't be in a relationship where I have to tell the man how to be in one.

POS Man 2

2011-04-08T11:24:00.003-04:00

Not long after things ended with POS1, I had another bite. He is a military police officer and very attractive (to me anyway). We had a couple phone conversations and decided to meet at a local bookstore/coffee shop on a Sunday evening. He bought us coffee and conversation was real easy. But unlike POS1, POS2 made it VERY clear that he was attracted to me. About an hour into the date, he began to make sexual innuendos, almost to the point that I was uncomfortable. He let me know that he had a foot fetish. I still can't put my finger on it, but it was creepy for some reason. Call it a gut feeling...

I figured I hadn't given him a fair chance, so I continued to communicate with him over the next couple weeks. One night he invited me over for pizza and a movie. I went, even though I wasn't comfortable going to his home yet.* I also made the mistake of wearing flip flops! I wasn't even thinking of his love of women's feet.

As we were watching the movie, I was sitting with my legs crossed next to him on the couch. He continued to slouch further and further down in the couch, his arm stretched out. Next thing I know, POS2 is stroking the arch of my foot with his finger. I just looked at him in horror, and he said, "Oh, there was something on your foot!" I moved away from him, and yet he just continued to somehow work his way back to my foot. He thought it was cute and playful. Again, my creeper alarm continued to go off. As soon as the credits rolled, I jumped up and said it was past my bed time. My feet and I got out of there unscathed!

POS2 still continues to text. He asked me when we are going to watch a movie with him. I was honest and explained that I wasn't comfortable being alone with him in either of our homes. He claimed to understand and said we would keep it public until I'm comfortable. But of course, he hasn't bothered to ask me out anywhere again.

*no lectures please!

POS Man 1

2011-04-06T14:02:00.002-04:00

So I joined POF around the Christmas holidays. I got many responses, but only a couple stood out. One was a man around my age with a good job and no kids (woo hoo!). We chatted on POF for a week or so and then moved it to text messaging. He was funny, and we had quite a few common interests. We finally made a lunch date for the afternoon of New Year's Eve. In person, he was very quiet and seemed a bit shy. I found him to be attractive, even though he was only an inch or so taller than I am. He wasn't drop dead gorgeous, but not too hard on the eyes. Because POS1 was so shy, I had no way of knowing if he was interested or found me attractive. We ate lunch and talked for a while, making the date last a couple hours. I drove away from the restaurant puzzled. Later that evening, he sent a text about his iPod (a reference to our earlier conversation). So that meant he was interested, right?

He eventually asked me out again for the next week. We went bowling. By the way, he had NEVER at this point actually DIALED my number; all communication was via text. We had a good time on the second date, and he showed signs of coming out of his shell. The date ended with a big hug in the parking lot at my car. This same pattern repeated for the next couple weeks. We met for dates two more times. We never went to one another's homes, and he never made a move on me. He did, however, pay for all outings. Never did we actually speak on the phone, but there was the occasional "How was your day?" text during the week. I was confused...really confused. I decided to go with the flow and enjoy the free meals, movies, and bowling.

On our last date (the 4th or 5th), POS1 shocked me and suggested that we hang out at his place and watch a DVD that next weekend. I figured a month into seeing someone wasn't too early, so I agreed. Of course, throughout the week, we didn't really talk. Finally on that Friday, I sent a text that said, "Woo hoo! It's the weekend!" A few hours later, he responded saying, "Thank goodness!" I then asked if we were still on for the weekend. He said, "I don't know. All I want to do right now is relax." Not fully understanding that that was code for "Shut up and leave me alone", I then sent another text stating that I was trying to plan something else with some friends for the weekend and just wanted to confirm a time with him. Heard nothing back until Saturday morning. While I was doing my weekly grocery shopping I received a scathing text that said, "Now I'm pissed. You don't know when to quit. You continued to text me after I told you I wanted to relax. This isn't going to work. You are too bossy, pushy, and clingy." Well, ain't that some shit? Eh, bossy and pushy maybe... :) Not sure how one can be clingy when we don't even SPEAK during the week!

POF or POS???

2011-03-31T11:43:00.002-04:00

So when I decided that I wanted to try dating again at the beginning of the year, I joined Plenty of Fish. I chose this website because it's free. I thought I was ready to get back out there, but I didn't want to pay to do it! Well, maybe it is true that you get what you pay for! So far, I've had to throw all that fish I've caught right back out into the pond! :) The next couple entries (coming this weekend) will about those fish caught on Plenty of Shi...I mean Fish.

It's been awhile...

2011-03-28T18:25:00.004-04:00

since I last blogged. I'll be honest...I got bored and busy. I really haven't dated until recently anyway. I took over the yearbook at my school this year, and WOW that will keep one busy! I'll get back to writing again, as I do have a coupla stories to share. In the meantime, enjoy this:

Rihanna - Skin - 2011 found on R&B

Is it just me, or has Rihanna become one hell of a bad-ass since Chris Brown beat the shit outta her???

Happy hump day!

2010-06-23T20:09:00.002-04:00

This Love by Pantera

Pantera - This Love
- Watch more Music Videos at Vodpod.

If ever words were spoken
Painful and untrue
I said I loved but I lied
In my life
All I wanted
Was the keeping
Of someone like you
As it turns out
Deeper within me
Love was twisted and pointed at you

Never ending pain, quickly ending life --

(Chorus)

You keep this love, thing, child, toy
You keep this love, fist, scar, break
You keep this love

I'd been the tempting one
Stole her from herself
This gift in pain
Her pain was life
And sometimes I feel so sorry
I regret this the hurting of you
But you make me so unhappy
I'd take my life and leave love with you

I'd kill myself for you, I'd kill you for myself --

(Chorus)

No more head trips

Surgery Sucks!

2010-06-19T16:15:00.003-04:00

But having my mom visit for a week and a half made it better! Yes, I finally had that knee surgery last Friday. The recovery is going better than I thought it would. I have been to physical therapy twice this week and been doing my "homework" the therapist assigned. I surpassed my first week's goal of bending my knee 90 degrees by about 12 degrees! Yay me! I celebrated with red velvet cake and an ice pack to the knee for 15 minutes! My mom traveled south back to her home today. I'm going to miss her. She came to stay with me last Wednesday. This was the most time alone my mom and I have spent together in years. Believe it or not, I didn't want to squeeze her head off!

So yeah, no dating right now. The crutches aren't a very appealing accessory, I'm sure. I'll be back out there in 4-6 weeks! :)

Untraditionally Sexy

2010-05-27T17:42:00.000-04:00

Dream a Little Dream by Ella Fitzgerald

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

2010-05-20T15:36:00.002-04:00

Yes, I have been neglecting blogland again. I have good reasons.

#1- I've been self reflecting. I need to make some changes in my life. I mean if I am not happy alone, how can I expect anyone else to be happy with me? My job eats away at my soul daily. Don't get me wrong...I do enjoy teaching kids. But it CONSUMES every bit of me...emotionally, physically, and mentally most of the school year. I'm not your average class room teacher. I am a special educator, and I love my kids. Sometimes that love leaves no room in my life for anyone else. So...I'm thinking a career change is in order for me to have a life beyond my work.

#2- I'm still absolutely head over heels in love...with my dog! All spare time goes to him and our adventures in the dog park and PetsMart! I still haven't met anyone of interest at the dog park. I take that back. I've met interesting people, just not ROMANTICALLY interesting. I meet very nice young couples and elderly ladies. And before you ask, yes we go to a couple different dog parks for some variety.

#3- I've injured myself yet again. I over slept last Wednesday and was running late for work. I pulled into the parking lot just as 1st period was beginning. In my rush to get into the building, I just fell face down onto the sidewalk. No, I didn't trip...I was walking and then I was splayed across the concrete, breaking my phone, my pen, and my ribs. I continued to work Wednesday and Thursday in pain. Finally, Friday breathing became almost unbearable. I let HR make me a doctor appointment (yay workers' comp!). The doctor put me on work restrictions, but my administration said that I couldn't perform my duties with those restrictions. And now I have a forced vacation until the doctor releases me to work again. My friend, Angel and Demon, says that God sent an angel to trip me so that I could have a mental vacation. Should've had that knee surgery last week, as originally planned, so I could at least collect short-term disability!

#4- I've not met any men from online or elsewhere. As a matter of fact, I haven't even cared to think about dating, or even sex. I must be sick!! It recently just dawned on me that I've had no man or sex drive for several months. I blame it all on #1!

#5- My damn blog has been attacked by spammers!! Every time I log in, I have crazy sex sites that have left comments as anonymous users! Has this happened to anyone else? How do I shake them off?

No Sexy Songs Today...

2010-04-28T18:36:00.003-04:00

I know my posts on here have been few and far between. Like I've said before, work is insane. I've pretty much settled into a week day routine. I go to work, come home, feed the animals, and take my dog for a walk to to the dog park. I keep thinking one day I might run into a single man at the park. So far, no such luck! There was a guy there the first two times I went. He had a Boxer, and he was pretty cute (the man, that is...). He actually approached me and asked me where I work. When I told him, he said he knew me from somewhere but couldn't figure it out. Hmmm...the second time he showed up just before my four-legged boyfriend and I were leaving. We spoke briefly, and I haven't seen him again. All the other men at the dog park that I've spoken with have been married. Boo!

Have I mentioned that Ex-coworker resurfaced again? He did via text. He got all bitchy when I told him I didn't see the point of him visiting. A couple days later he emailed me to apologize and told me he would like to pick up where we left off. Hell, I'm not even sure where we left off, he comes and goes so much!

And about my friend and FB, I've called and messaged her, only to get no response. I would try to request her again, but apparently she has blocked me from contacting her on FB. This friend of mine has been known to take things personally and just cut people out of her life with no discussion. She had just never done it to me before. Mature, huh?

Oh yeah, I found out that young coworker set a date for his wedding last week. Good luck to him on that!

Still sexless in 2010...when does one begin the revirgination process?

Sexy Song of the Week

2010-04-16T17:53:00.003-04:00

How Low by Ludacris

This song just reminds me of my days in the club, shaking my ass. It's nasty, of course...it's Luda! Sigh...I'm old!

Rough Day on FB

2010-04-13T22:32:00.003-04:00

So, I logged into FB on my laptop today, instead of my usual glance at my FB app on my BlackBerry. What's the number one story on my news feed??? The FIRST thing I see?? FWB is in a relationship. Nice...yay! Just a few weeks ago, my ex (whom I've never discussed here actually) added me as a friend there. He got married last year! Another yay! You do realize these yays are sarcastic, right? Just in case some of you are just now tuning into my blog and don't know me yet, I thought I should state the obvious (obvious, that is, if you know me).

And if that wasn't enough to make my insides turn inside out, I went to the profile of one of my "best friends" to leave a comment and found she had deleted me as a FB friend! Does that mean I'm no longer her real life friend? I know I forgot to call her back the other day, but I did text her a couple days ago to get no response. Could that cause the end of a friendship?

It all just hurt so badly...

Fantasies...not coming true!

2010-04-07T20:32:00.002-04:00

While I would love to get out and try to re-enact the lyrics to this week's sexy song of the week, that won't be happening anytime soon. My knee is still giving me a hard time, making bending, squatting, and stairs difficult tasks. Hell, some days just walking is painful. But I grin and bear it for now. The worst part??? I can't wear all my cute little heels!!!! I'm stuck wearing boring and comfortable (read "ugly") flats. Sigh...

So I know you all have been anxiously sitting on the edge of your computer desk chairs to hear what the diagnosis is! I went for an MRI this past Saturday (yeah, gotta love the fact that they have Saturday appointments) and for my follow up today. Drum roll, please.......

SURGERY!!!!! Yay...not! I have a torn meniscus and some kind of cyst. So, I will be spending my summer on pain pills and crutches. One of those I don't really care for.

Sexy Song of the Week

2010-04-07T20:22:00.002-04:00

Rude Boy by Rihanna

Come on rude boy, boy
Can you should get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Come here rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Tonight
I'mma let you be the captain
Tonight
I'mma let you do your thing, yeah
Tonight
I'mma let you be a rider
Giddy up
Giddy up
Giddy up, babe

Tonight
I'mma let it be fire
Tonight
I'mma let you take me higher
Tonight
Baby we can get it on, yeah
we can get it on, yeah

Do you like it boy
I wa-wa-want
What you wa-wa-want
Give it to me baby
Like boom, boom, boom
What I wa-wa-want
Is what you wa-wa-want
Na, na-aaaah

Come here rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
You should Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Come here rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Tonight
I'mma give it to you harder
Tonight
I'mma turn your body out
Relax
Let me do it how I wanna
If you got it
I need it
And I'mma put it down

Buckle up
I'mma give it to you stronger
Hands up
We can go a little longer
Tonight
I'mma get a little crazy
Get a little crazy, baby

Do you like it boy
I wa-wa-want
What you wa-wa-want
Give it to me baby
Like boom, boom, boom
What I wa-wa-want
Is what you wa-wa-want
Na, na-aaaah

Come here rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Come here rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me
http://www.elyricsworld.com/rude_boy_lyrics_rihanna.html

I like the way you touch me there
I like the way you pull my hair
Babe, if I don't feel it I ain't faking
No, no

I like when you tell me kiss it there
I like when you tell me move it there

So giddy up
Time to giddy up
You say you're a rude boy
Show me what you got now

Come here right now

Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Come on rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Come here rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me

Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Love me
yeh yeh yeh ,

Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me

Sexy Song of the Week

2010-04-01T18:50:00.002-04:00

Brass In Pocket by The Pretenders

I got brass in pocket
Got bottle, I'm gonna use it.
Intention
I feel inventive,
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice
Got motion, restrained emotion.
I been driving uh, Detroit leaning.
No reason, just seems so pleasing.
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice
Gonna use my arms,
Gonna use my legs,
Gonna use my style,
Gonna use my side-step-
Gonna use my fingers.
Gonna use my, my, my, imagination.
Cause I going make you see-- there's nobody else here
No one like me.
I'm special, so special.
I got to have some of your attention, give it to me!
I got rhythm, I can't miss a beat.
I got-a new skank so reet.
Got something. I'm winking at you,
Gonna make you, make you notice.
Gonna use my arms,
Gonna use my legs,
Gonna use style,
Gonna use my sidestep
Gonna use my fingers, gon' use my my my imagination.
Oh .. cause I gonna make you see
there's nobody else here, no one like me.
I'm special, so special.
I got to have some of your attention, give it to me!
'Cause I gonna make you see
there's nobody else here, no one like me,
I'm special, so special.
I got to have some of your attention, give it to me.
Ooooooooo, when you walk.

If it isn't one thing...

2010-03-30T19:42:00.004-04:00

I'm going to be honest...I really just haven't been in the mood to write. My brain is frazzled from work, and the little free time I do have I've been spending with my little man...my dog. We've been going to the dog park when there is nice weather. The little guy just won't loosen up and have a little fun! I think he is under the impression that his job is to protect me. If dogs come running my way, he is there to defend me, and he refuses to stray more than 10-12 feet away from me even though he is off his leash. He really is a sweet little cuddlebug though. Thank goodness for that, because he is giving me the only cuddling I am getting!

Ex-coworker has reappeared via text messages. I hadn't heard from him since just after New Year's. The only thing I can figure is he is alone again...musta had some chick hanging around for a while. Again, I told him I am not interested in the casual on again off again thing. To which he responded, "You will find someone. You are a good woman."

Oh, and remember that knee pain that I thought was tendinitis? Apparently, it isn't. The pain never fully went away, and my left knee still KILLS me on stairs. I finally broke down and saw a doctor. The x-rays showed no problems with the bones. The doctor has ordered MRI's for later this week. He thinks it could be a torn meniscus (cartilage)...cross your fingers that it isn't! The move into the new apartment cost me my left knee! And you know who I'm blaming...hehe.

Drowning....

2010-03-13T08:49:00.004-05:00

Yep...I'm drowning! I'm barely keeping my head above water at work. This is why I haven't been around the last few weeks. I feel like I'm made of thin rubber, being stretched even thinner, and I just may break soon! Okay, okay...things aren't that bad, but it has been crazy.

I finally met the guy from Match a couple weeks ago. We went bowling. I figured that would be fun no matter if we found one another attractive. Yes, the bowling was fun. And no, he wasn't attractive. He may have been a few years ago when his profile pictures were taken. I was tricked, my friends! He claimed to be 41, but he looked closer to 51! And obviously, his pictures were not current! What is with that?? If you are going to join a dating site, why lie about who you really are? Eventually, the people with whom you communicate will find out!

Otherwise, I'm still dateless and sexless in 2010. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed...

Sexy Song of the Week

2010-02-17T20:46:00.000-05:00

Say It Right by Nelly Furtado

In the day
In the night
Say it right
Say it all
You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show
You tonight you tonight

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

From my hands I could give you
Something that I made
From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body I could show you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy
Do you really want to go?

You Won't Believe It!

2010-02-16T19:14:00.002-05:00

I really am allergic to dating!!! I had a routine check up with my ENT today. He looked in my throat and sinus cavities. He backed away from me and asked if I had been feeling sick lately. I told him about my sore throat weekend before last. The doctor then proceeded to tell me that I have all kinds of infection in my throat and sinuses. It started in the throat and spread. He said if I didn't get an antibiotic in me, I would probably end up with bronchitis and/or pneumonia soon. OMG!! I'm not to return to work or go around people until Friday!!! So you know what that means???

Yep...I had to cancel my date with the guy from Match AGAIN!! He is going to begin to think I'm not really interested. Grrr...

Oh yeah, I had my poor pooch emasculated yesterday, so now we are both lying around moaning and groaning.

Happy Day Before My Birthday!

2010-02-14T11:10:00.000-05:00

Here's a little sexy for those of you who actually enjoy February 14. I hate Britney Spears as much as I do this day. But this song is sexy!

You say it's your birthday...

2010-02-13T08:16:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is Valentines Day, but never mind that! Monday is my birthday! So that means a weekend of friends and fun! Tonight is dinner with my gay boys, tomorrow is brunch and a movie with a girlfriend, and Monday is an all girls' day all day! Don't know what we are going to do yet, but I'm sure we will have fun!

That is...if the freakin' weather will cooperate! The roads and parking lots are just sheets of ice! Remember, the South isn't equipped for all this mess! I hope the temps will get high enough to melt enough of it for me to get out of my apartment complex tonight.

In man news, I have rescheduled my postponed Match date from last weekend. We are meeting Tuesday for lunch, since I have a long weekend.

So every weekend of 2010 has been full of wild weather and/or sickness. I'm ready for some warmth and wellness! Still dateless and sexless in 2010...

Damn...Damn...Damn!!

2010-02-07T18:00:00.002-05:00

Remember the bite on Match that I mentioned? Well, we were supposed to meet for lunch today. But yet again, I'm sick! It's like I'm allergic to dating now! I've had this really bad sore throat since Thursday. I thought it was just due to my sinus drainage junk. It just continued to worsen, so I went to urgent care today, just so they could tell me it was an infection. It isn't strep, but something is wrong. Well, gee thanks, Doc!

So again, I had to postpone a date because of illness. I guess I could've gone and let him listen to my nasty old-lady been smoking for 50 years sounding voice. What a turn-on! And then maybe he would have come down with the gross little infection too! An even bigger turn-on!

Still dateless and sexless in 2010...

Oops! Sexy Song of the Week

2010-02-05T18:05:00.001-05:00

What's Your Fantasy by Ludacris

Ludacris - What's Your Fantasy
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

[Ludacris]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Give it to me now, give it to me now
Give it to me now, give it to me now

[Shawna]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Give it to me now, give it to me now
Give it to me now..

[Chorus: Ludacris, then Shawna *2X*]
I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from yo' head to yo' toes
And I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'
Then I wanna, ahh ahh - you make it so good I don't wanna leave
But I gotta, kn-kn-kn-know what-what's your fan-ta-ta-sy

[Ludacris]
I wanna get you in the Georgia Dome on the fifty yard line
While the Dirty Birds kick for t'ree
And if you like in the club we can do it
In the DJ booth or in the back of the V.I.P.
Whipped cream with cherries and strawberries on top
Lick it don't stop, keep the door locked don't knock while the boat rock
We go-bots and robots so they gotta wait til the show stop
Or how 'bout on the beach with black sand
Lick up your thigh then call me the Pac Man
Table top or just give me a lap dance
The Rock to the Park to the Point to the Flatlands
That man Ludacris (woo) in the public bathroom
Or in back of a classroom
How ever you want it lover lover gonna tap that ass soon
See I cast 'em and I past 'em get a tight grip and I grasp 'em
I flash 'em and out last 'em
And if ain't good then I trash 'em while you stash 'em
I'll let 'em free
And the tell me what they fantasy
Like up on the roof roof tell yo boyfriend not to be mad at me

[Chorus]

[Ludacris]
I wanna get you in the bath tub
With the candle lit you give it up till they go out
Or we can do it on stage of the Ludacris concert
Cause you know I got sold out
Or red carpet dick could just roll out
Go 'head and scream you can't hold out
We can do it in the pouring rain
Runnin the train when it's hot or cold out
How 'bout in the library on top of books
But you can't be too loud
You wanna make a brother beg for it
Give me TLC 'cause you know I be too proud
We can do it in the white house
Tryna make them turn the lights out
Champaign with my campaign let me do the damn thing
What's my name, what's my name, what's my name a sauna, jacuzzi
In the back row at the movie
You can stratch my back and rule me
You can push me or just pull me
On hay in middle of the barn (woo) rose pedals on the silk sheets uh
Eating fresh fruits sweep yo woman right off her feet

[Chorus]

[Ludacris]
I wanna get you in the back seat windows up
That's the way you like to fuck, clogged up fog alert
Rip the pants and rip the shirt, ruff sex make it hurt
In the garden all in the dirt
Roll around Georgia Brown that's the way I like it twerk
Legs jerk, overworked, underpaid but don't be afraid
In the sun or up in the shade
On the top of my escalade
Maybe your girl and my friend can trade; tag team, off the ropes!
On the ocean or in the boat! Factories or on hundred spokes!
What about up in the candy sto' that chocolate chocolate make it melt
Whips and chains, handcuffs, smack a little booty up with my belt
Scream help play my game; dracula man I'll get my fangs
Horseback and I'll get my reigns, school teacher let me get my grades

[Chorus - repeat 4X]

Nibbles and Bites

2010-02-01T22:25:00.002-05:00

Today has been the mother of all days! I took my cat to the vet for an injured paw, and she ended up in surgery. The vet fixed the paw and pulled several of her teeth. Wowzers! What a vet bill!! My baby girl has always had a dental problem, and I knew that it would come to this one day. I just didn't wake up thinking today would be it. In other pet news, the new man of the house is doing better. I think he just prefers to be crated when left alone. The day of the barking complaint, I had left him baby-gated in the kitchen, with no background noise. He was probably just scared.

In dating news, I can report that Match.com has picked up a little. I joined again a while back, but I hadn't met anyone of interest on there. In the last couple days, there has been two bites and a nibble. One man and I have exchanged numbers (yesterday) but haven't talked on the phone yet. Another one asked if I'd like to meet for drinks this week. And the nibble...well, he just emailed me today. But I like his profile and pics. We shall see...

Man Problems

2010-01-30T19:50:00.003-05:00

My new man (okay dog) has been good...mostly. He hasn't destroyed anything. He hasn't peed or pooped in the house. He doesn't bark, as a matter of fact I didn't hear him bark until three days after he came to live me. He barked at someone knocking on the door. I thought, "Whew, I got lucky! He is a well behaved quiet doggy!" Until I came home from work yesterday. There was a note taped to my door. This is what it said:

Excuse me,

Your dog has been barking non-stop since 7:00 A.M. this morning & it is now almost 4:30 P.M. in the afternoon. This is very disturbing. Please do something about this!

Thanks,
Your Neighbors

Soooo...my little guy seems to have a bit of separation anxiety. I've done all the things it says to do online for this. He has been crated. He goes into the crate willingly and even seems to like it while I'm home. I put a t-shirt with my scent on it in there. I've given him chew toys and a kong full of his food.

I left today for a couple hours to have lunch with a friend. When I came back he was howling and crying. Any suggestions?

Oh yeah, and the neighbors? I don't know which neighbors left the note. I spoke to a couple of them today, and they both said they hadn't heard him. I went to my upstairs neighbors' apartment (I know they are home because I can hear them), but they didn't answer the door when I knocked. Passive aggressive much?

Sexy Song of the Week!

2010-01-28T19:49:00.002-05:00

Damn, this week has flown by! I missed hump day! Here are two sexy songs for ya!

Naughty Girl by Beyonce

Beyoncé Naughty Girl
Uploaded by mado88. - Explore more music videos.

I'm feelin sexy
I wanna hear you say my name boy
If you can reach me
You can feel my burning flame

I'm feelin kind of n-a-s-t-y
I might just take you home with me
Baby the minute I feel your energy
Your vibe's just taken over me
Start feelin so crazy babe
I feel the funk coming over me
I don't know what's gotten into me
The rhythm's got me feelin so crazy babe

Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
We're gonna turn this party out
I know you want my body
Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
I see you look me up and down
And I came to party

You're so sexy, tonight I am all yours boy
The way your body moves across the floor
You got me feelin n-a-s-t-y
I might just take you home with me

Baby the minute I feel your energy
The vibe's just taken over me
Start feelin so crazy babe
I feel the funk coming over me
I don't know what's gotten into me
The rhythm's got me feelin so crazy babe

Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
We're gonna turn this party out
I know you want my body
Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
I see you look me up and down
And I came to party

I love to love you baby
I love to love you baby
I love to love you baby

Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
We're gonna turn this party out
I know you want my body
Tonight I'll be your naughty girl
I'm callin all my girls
I see you look me up and down
And I came to party

Repeat to end

Red Light Special by TLC

Take a good look at it
Look at it now
Might be the last time you'll
Have a go round
I'll let you touch it if you'd
Like to go down
I'll let you go further
If you take the southern route
Don't go too fast
Don't go too slow
You've got to let your body flow
I like 'em attentive
And I like 'em in control

[Chorus]
Baby it's yours
All yours
If you want it tonight
I'll give you the red light special
All through the night
Baby it's yours
All yours
If you want it tonight
Just come through my door
Take off my clothes
And turn on the red light

I know that you want me I can
See it in your eyes
You might as well be honest 'cause the
Body never lies
Tell me your secrets and I'll
I'll tell you mine
I'm fellin' quite sexy
And I want you for tonight
If I move too fast just let me know
'Cause it means you move too slow
I like some excitement
And I like a man that goes

[Chorus]

If you want me
Let me know it
I'll make time but
You've got to show it
If you need me
I want to see
But don't mistake me
I don't want you down on your knees
I need someone a real man
I need someone who understands
I'm a woman a real woman
I know just what I want
I know just who I am

[Chorus]

My New Man!!

2010-01-24T17:10:00.002-05:00

I have a new man in my life!! He is furry, has four legs, weighs about 16 pounds, and I picked him up at the animal shelter Thursday! Yep, I rescued a dog! He is soooo cute and sweet and laid back...the perfect addition to the household.

As for real men...nothing much going on in that category. Teacher Man sent a text last night (Saturday) around 6:30, asking me what I was up to. Then he asked if I wanted to see a movie. I responded with, "When?" He said, "Tonight" I told him he was a little late asking and that he shouldn't wait until the last minute. I also let him know that he can't ignore me for a month and expect me to be available when he is bored. He told me he understood. Fast forward about 30 minutes and I got another text from him asking what I was doing tomorrow (well today). When I told him I had no plans, he asked if I wanted to go to lunch and a movie. I told him to call me around 11:00. Of course, he texted me at 11:30. I didn't know because I was on a marathon phone call until about 1:00. I told him we would just try again next weekend since the weather is disgusting anyway. What the hell ever happened to just picking up the phone and actually CALLING someone??? So tired of all communication via text!

Sexy Song of the Week

2010-01-20T17:26:00.003-05:00

I Am by Mary J. Blige

Hey no … noo oooh …
Ain’t nobody gonna treat you better
Ain’t nobody gonna touch you better
Ain’t nobody gonna love you better boy
Than I am,Than I am

When your out at night and your in the streets
And you have her to yourself
Think of all the love that you get from me
That you can’t find nowhere else
When your far away and I’m not around
And temptation fills your heart
Think of all the ways that I’m faithful babe
To replace me would be hard
Cause ain’t nobody

Ain’t nobody gonna treat you better
Ain’t nobody gonna touch you better
Ain’t nobody gonna love you better boy than I am
Than I am
(nobody, nobody) than I am
(nobody, nobody) than I am
(nobody, nobody) than I am
Ohh Ain’t nobody gonna treat you better than I am

You can try to act single if you wanna
You can go ahead and mingle if you wanna
You can even behave like you don’t care
But you know (but you know) like I know (like I know)
That you ain’t that foolish
Who you foolin’? You won’t ruin
What’s been here all along, you ain’t movin’
From what you’ve got at home

Ain’t nobody gonna treat you better
Ain’t nobody gonna touch you better
Ain’t nobody gonna love you better boy than I am
Than I am
(nobody, nobody) than I am
(nobody, nobody) than I am
(nobody, nobody) than I am
Ohhnobody gonna treat you as good as I am

I just want you to knowg
Baby I love you so
There is no need to go lookin’ for nothin more
Cause I’ve got everything you’ll ever need right here
But if you feel that you need to leave
Just know!!

Ain’t nobody gonna treat you better
Ain’t nobody gonna touch you better
Ain’t nobody gonna love you better boy than I am
Than I am
(repeat)
(nobody, nobody) than I am
(nobody, nobody) than I am
(nobody, nobody) than I am
Ohh nobody gonna treat you as good as I am

Apologies

2010-01-16T14:44:00.003-05:00

Hello! I do apologize for my long absence! The second week of my Christmas vacation, I just relaxed and did a little (and I do mean little) unpacking. The first week back at work was hectic, and I just didn't have blogging time and energy. And the last week or so, I've been hibernating!

I did go on another E-Harmony date just after New Year's. Apparently, E-Harmony has me pegged as BORING! This guy was so dry. We met for lunch, and he didn't even get lunch! He ordered hot chocolate, while I ate. He bored me to tears with tales of his dog. So yeah, it was another pleasant and free lunch due to E-Harmony.

Teacher Man responded to the text I told you about here with "So are you saying you don't want to hang out tonight?" I explained to him I wanted to go on an actual date. He didn't get it, and I haven't heard from him since. Oh well.

I ran into Bookstore Boy last week at...you guessed it...the bookstore. I was just running in to use my gift card and buy a couple books for my hibernation. He followed me upstairs and asked me why I hadn't called or written him on Facebook. I told him that our last meeting was a turn-off, that he is too aggressive, and he doesn't listen to anything I say. I was in no mood for niceties or small talk at the time. It was cold, and I was ready to be back on my couch with a good book. He told me "I don't really care anyway. Goodbye (Sane). Have a nice life." I told him goodbye. He has since deleted me on Facebook. Sigh...

I haven't seen Stalker since he brought my Christmas gift over. I have heard from him via text a couple times. The first time was just before New Years when he suggested I try Craigslist for finding some dates and then told me he never saw us as anything more than friends. Whatever. He then started forwarding ads to me! I told him to leave me the hell alone. Since then he has texted twice to ask how I was doing. I give very little response back.

I did check out Craigslist, but most men on there in my city seem to be looking for sex only. One guy did catch my attention. I responded. We emailed back and forth a couple times and even exchanged pics and phone numbers. His pic was from far away and he had on sunglasses, so there is no telling what he actually looks like. I asked for another pic, to which he responded "I'll send it when I get home." I never did get it. I wrote to him again, asking for it. Again, I got no response. So yeah, dating is non-existent as of 2010.

Sexy Song of the Week

2009-12-30T16:01:00.003-05:00

Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin!!!!! Me love all things Zeppelin. I'm giving ya the studio version and a live version. Enjoy!!!!

Oh, and if you don't know who Led Zeppelin is, shame on you! You betta get out there and edumacate yourself!

You need coolin', baby, I'm not foolin'
I'm gonna send ya back to schoolin'
Way down inside, a-honey, you need it
I'm gonna give you my love
I'm gonna give you my love, oh

Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love

You've been learnin'
And baby, I been learnin'
All them good times
Baby, baby, I've been discernin'-a
A-way, way down inside
A-honey, you need-a
I'm gonna give you my love, ah
I'm gonna give you my love, ah

Oh, whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
I don't want more

You've got to bleed on me, yeah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ha, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
ah, ah, ah, ah, ha, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
No, no, no, no, ah
Love, love, low-ow-ow-ow-ove
Oh, babe, oh

You been coolin'
And baby, I've been droolin'
All the good times, baby, I've been misusin'-a/Oh
A-way, way down inside
I'm gonna give ya my love/Ah
I'm gonna give ya every inch of my love/Ah
I'm gonna give you my love/Ah
Yes, alright, let's go/Ah

Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love
Wanna whole lotta love

Way down inside/ Way down inside
Way downinside, woman, you/woman
woman, you/you need it
need/Love

My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my/Ahh
Oh, shake for me, girl
I wanna be your backdoor man-a
Hey, oh, hey, oh/Ahh
Hey, oh, oooh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Hoo-ma, ma, hey
Keep a-coolin', baby
A-keep a-coolin', baby
A-keep a-coolin', baby
Uh, keep a-coolin', baby, wuh, way-hoh, oo-ohh

Girls Night Out or Date Night?

2009-12-29T11:23:00.002-05:00

Next time you hear (read) me say I'm having a girls night out, remind me that Jack Daniels is NOT one of the girls! I do believe I was on a date with him and my girlfriend was the third wheel. I hope she had fun...I know I did! But my ass will be planted on this couch today for quite some time due to my date with Jack!

Unfortunately there were waaay more women out last night than men. I guess we should have known that when the place advertised that all ladies get in free and get free drinks until midnight. Much to my distaste, those free drinks were some little fruity concoction I didn't care for. So Sane paid for her man Jack.

I did meet a real man there. He is actually close to my age, actually older than I am. Too bad he is just in town visiting family for the holidays. He lives in a state far far away! Hell, by the time we started talking I was too damn drunk to care. We had a dance and exchanged phone numbers before he left with his friends. He called and texted last night, both of which I was too passed out to notice.

Okay, I'm going back to keeping my couch warm and letting the TV watch me sleep.

Girls Night Out

2009-12-28T15:26:00.002-05:00

I just sent Teacher Man a text that said, "I was thinking about your offer to bring over a movie tonight, and I think I'll wait until you can take me on a real date."

I'm going out with a girlfriend instead. I'm tired of little boys and the games they play.

Christmas Wrap-Up

2009-12-27T12:05:00.003-05:00

Tuesday night Stalker sent me a text that began short little conversation.

Stalker: Would you like your gift tonight?
Me: Tomorrow would be better. I'm not well tonight. In serious pain.
Stalker: :-( need anything?
Me: Just rest and ice. Can't walk.
Stalker: Gasp! Oh no :-( Do you need a wheelchair?
Me: Possibly. Just bring the gift tomorrow evening after you get off. I will let you get the cat litter out of my trunk too!
Stalker: K. So you good for tonight?
Me: Yeah. (My gay bf) fed me. Just gonna lie down. Exhausted.
Stalker: Okie doke

Funny how he appears and wants to be helpful the day AFTER the big move, huh?

Stalker came over Wednesday evening when he got off from work, bearing one wrapped gift. He had told me last week that there would be more than one. Being the greedy little girl that I am, I asked about the others. He said there were more to come, but they would have to be house-warming gifts. He lost too much money while off gambling over the weekend, while I was moving and letting my body fall apart! Yeah, not only did he get out of manual labor, but I got less gifts due to this trip. Anyway, this is what he gave me for Christmas. Not bad, but not very personal either. One of The Queens got me two bottles of wine with which I can try this out. Too bad I still can't drink them, since Stalker has yet to replace my wine opener and/or topper! That is another expense I'll have to take on myself.

When I didn't open my gift right away, Stalker joked and said, "Aren't you going to open your engagement ring?" Haha. Funny, right? Yeah, not really. He offered to go back to his office and get the sports ice pack he left in the freezer there, so I could use it on my still aching knee. Of course, I let him do it. I also let him stop and get some food to bring back for dinner. When he returned, he was super attentive and nurturing. He wrapped my leg in the ice pack, asked me if I wanted him to get out a suitcase for my trip to see my family, and even asked me if he needed to take my car and gas it up for me. All my suitcases still had clothes in them from the move and I had filled up my car earlier that day. Funny how he is such an inconsistently available and helpful friend. I guess he is there for me whenever it fits into his schedule. I haven't heard from him again since he left. Can you imagine that?!

Teacher Man and I didn't make our lunch Wednesday. I'm not really sure what happened. I just know that he finally texted me long after I ate lunch. And no, I didn't have an early lunch; I just didn't hear from him until around 3:30 PM. I ate at 1:30 after I got my Christmas haircut. He sent me another text last night to let me know that he would be back in town Monday. He asked if he should bring over a movie and pick up some food. What is the deal? Why don't men actually ask women to go out anymore?

And the trip home. Well, it was...pleasant. That's because the drama inducing aunt decided not to come because she was still angry with her sister. Really, I'm not too sure what the deal is with them, and I try to keep it that way. All I know is Santa was incredibly nice to me this year. I must have been a good little girl. Some highlights were this and this! I also racked up some gift cards to Starbucks and Barnes and Noble. All in all, it was a good Christmas for a not so religious girl with a dysfunctional family.

Sexy Song of the Week

2009-12-23T19:11:00.002-05:00

Since it's the holidays...

Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt

Dick In a Box by Justin Timberlake

I'm in!

2009-12-22T14:22:00.002-05:00

The move is completed. Teacher Man and one of The Queens came over to help out a little. Teacher Man woke to his own problems yesterday morning...a leaky ceiling. So he wasn't able to stay too long. He called last night to see how the rest of the move went (the movers were here when he came over), and we decided that we might meet up for lunch tomorrow before both of us go out of town for the holidays.

As for the move, the movers were over-priced and didn't even move everything! Ugh...I was running up and down the stairs moving leftover odds and ins all freaking day yesterday. I didn't sit down from 6:00 AM to 9:00 PM!! Oh, how my body aches!! I tried to do a little Christmas shopping this morning and managed to get a few things for the family before I couldn't take the pain in my knees any longer! I'm on the sofa resting my achy bones...ok, really my knee.

The Move has begun...

2009-12-20T10:51:00.004-05:00

I'm sitting here with ice on my big fat knee. I don't know what I've done to it, but it seems that I have developed tendinitis in my right knee. Right in the middle of my move. I managed to get my hanging clothes and other odds and ends over to the new place yesterday. But I can do no more. The stairs are killing my knee. My old friend, Teacher Man, came over last night to help out a little, and then we watched The Hangover. Funniest. Movie. Ever! Teacher Man is also going to help me move my television tomorrow when the movers come. Why, you ask? Because the movers charge an extra $50 to move large flat screen TV's. What a pain in the ass. Damn damn damn, don't know how many trips up and down those stairs my knee can take!

Anyway, Teacher Man is an acquaintance I've had for a while. We have only hung out a few times, but we managed to keep in contact occasionally. Until last night, I hadn't seen him in about a year. For some reason, I'd never found Teacher Man all that attractive. Don't get me wrong, he is a nice looking guy. I just never felt that spark. Since I last saw him, something has changed. Maybe I've changed or maybe he has, but suddenly he became a little more appealing to me.

Later today, I have to meet up with my gay boyfriend and the queens for a Christmas dinner and gift exchange. That should be a nice break from moving. Did I mention I still haven't gotten any gifts for the family? Can we say last minute gift cards?

Old Man Sweater

2009-12-16T17:46:00.006-05:00

I met E-Harmony guy for lunch this past Sunday. He definitely did not impress me. I know I'm closer to 40 than I am to 30 now, but I generally am not attracted to men in their mid to late 40's. This guy's profile claimed that he is 45, but he looked and acted more like 55. Ugh. He was wearing an old man sweater over his pregnant belly. You know...those sweaters from the 80's with geometrical shapes all over it? Yeah...not sexy at all...and to top it all off with a pregnant belly. Yeah, you know those bellies men of a certain age develop that are hard? And they have no fat anywhere else on their bodies? Again...not sexy. So I had a nice, polite, FREE lunch Sunday. I think he knew I was disappointed, because I ended the date early and haven't heard from him since. There is a new guy I was matched with this week who looks a little more interesting. I'll keep you updated.

Sunday morning I took an EPT. I haven't mentioned this in the blog, but Stalker was convinced that he had impregnated me! He kept on about babies and superstitious ideas about men sleeping a lot when they have gotten a woman pregnant. He said he had been coming home from work and crashing only to wake up in time for work the next day. I've never heard this, but he was starting to creep me out. I decided to take a test, just to be safe. It was negative (whew!), so I texted him to let him know. This was our first contact since he left my apartment the Sunday before. You know, the Sunday he told me he would be out of town when I move? The text read a little something like this:

According to ept I'm not pregnant with your bastard child. So you don't have to worry about folks finding out about your whore on the side that way anymore.

His response?

Cool. Did you need me to have people come help you next weekend?

I won't bore with the actual details of the rest of the text convo. I'll just tell you that he doesn't understand why he is the "bad guy" in all this. He said that he offered me manpower but I refused. He couldn't understand that I didn't feel comfortable accepting help from some random strangers when he was the one who had offered to do it. He just told me that he thought I was expecting sooo much from him that I was getting hurt by my own expectations. Um, since when is expecting a friend to lend a hand when he offered expecting too much??? But really??? If I can't depend on him to show up to help out, how the hell can I depend on whatever strangers he would send to help?? And how embarrassing would that be? I just told him that I'd already hired movers, and he is more than welcome to help pay! Stalker then said he would help and asked if I would pay him back! When I told I didn't realize that he was offering a loan, he said if I needed a loan or just money not to pay back, let him know. Ugh.

So Monday and Tuesday went by without a word from Stalker. Well, Tuesday night around 10:15, I received a text from him:

Stalker: I have Xmas gifts for you...
Me: It isn't Xmas.
Stalker: In ten days...
Me: Yeah I'm aware. Thank you in advance?
Stalker: When would you like them?

As I was typing a response, he called me. We chatted about my busy week at work like nothing had ever happened. I was already in the bed and let him know this. He then said, "I guess it wouldn't be a good idea for me to stop by then?" I told him no and that I'd talk to him later. Um...I really don't know what to say about it. Guess I'll get those gifts when he returns from his trip with his sister. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention she is the reason he has to go out of town this weekend? She wanted to go with him, and that was the only weekend she could make the trip. Um...yeah.

Still breathing...barely

2009-12-12T10:27:00.003-05:00

My, this past week has flown by. Work has been super busy (yay for standardized testing...not!). I've been trying to get ready for the move. I couldn't book the movers for next Saturday (the original move date), because they cost twice as much on the weekends. So they are coming first thing on Monday (12/21) morning. I'm going to move as much as possible in my car and my friend's husband's truck during the weekend though, because I also have to turn the keys to my current apartment in on Monday. Thanks to Stalker, I'm out almost $400 and will be busting my ass until the last minute. But anyhoo...speaking of assholes, he and I haven't spoken since he left my place after telling me he was going out of town instead of helping me move. Yeah, he offered to move me...I didn't ask. Talking about a let-down. He tried to hug me before he left last Sunday. I told him not to touch me. Oddly, it's been easier to stop speaking to him than I thought. That's probably because he not only disappointed me as a man, but as a friend. I really just want to tell him that he is a stupid and selfish LITTLE BOY! A grown man wouldn't have handled this situation by avoidance.

Hopefully, the E-Harmony guy and I will finally meet tomorrow. We have played phone tag all week and finally actually spoke last night. It was, um...awkward. He seemed preoccupied with something else, although he is the one who called me. We shall see...

MatchMan called last night also. I didn't answer. Ex-Coworker continues to text. Don't you love how they all keep coming back?

Sexy Song of The Week

2009-12-09T19:36:00.004-05:00

Yeah, I guess I shoulda titled this Sexy SONGS of the Week! I keep getting carried away!

Patience by Guns N Roses:

(1..2...1,2,3,4)
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah

Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it

...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah,
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... (ence, yeah)
I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah)
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you (Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me....

Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson

Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone [Exclusive]
Uploaded by Henrietta-Aime-Fumer_Tv. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Meet Me Halfway by Black Eyed Peas

The Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway
Uploaded by AuronTheBossAndTheBest. - Explore more music videos.

I can't go any further then this
I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish

Cool,
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day yes, I'm really missin' missin' you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl, what's up, it use to used to be just me and you
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day, yes I'm really missin missin you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl what's up, yo what's up, what's up, what's up

Can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Girl, I travel round the world and even sail the seven seas
Across the universe I go to other galaxies
Just tell me where to go, just tell me where you wanna meet
I navigate myself myself to take me where you be
Cause girl I want, I, I, I want you right now
I travel uptown (town) I travel downtown
Wanna have you around (round) like every single day
I love you alway... way
(I'll meet you halfway

Can you meet me half way)
Right at the borderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Let's walk the bridge, to the other side
Just you and I (just you and I)
I will fly, fly the skies, for you and I (for you and I)
I will try, until I die, for you and I, for you and I, for for for you and I,
For for for you and I, for for you and I, for you and I

Can you meet me half way
Can you meet me half way
Can you meet me half way
Can you meet me half way

Meet me half way, right at the borderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

And for the just plain NASTY!!

Play by David Banner

David Banner - Play
Uploaded by le_michael. -

Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Work that clit
Cum girl

Finger fuck your pussy like you want some, girl
Work it like a nigga straight licking on your pearl
I wanna see you cum in the middle of the dance floor
A nigga can't fuck, what you think your finger made for
I'ma beat that pussy up
You get it wet enough, I might lick it up
Lickey, lickey, lickey, like a peppermint swirl
Lick that clit
Cum girl
Uh, I wanna see your legs shake
Take you to the crib, we can fuck til the bed break
Uh, fuck you til your pussy ache
Think about the type right now, girl, mastur
(Uh uh) bate for a nigga, freak you in the clubs
stop worrying about them other hoes
It's me in your world
Work that clit
Cum girl

Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Work that clit
Cum girl

Cum when you're feeling good, lick it all off
Catch it in your mouth, like your last name Moss
Play with the nitty girl, stick it on in
I'm feeling real freaky girl, bring your friends
I can make 'em bounce like 1, 2, 3
It ain't nothin' to a pimp, girl, play with the g-spot
Make it hot, gon on, get your girl, Sheryl
Bring your clique
Cum girl
And I'ma make 'em all cum
Beat it like Mr. Calipark on the drum
I'ma beat it like Mike when he fucked Billie Jean
Work it, work it, work it, til you make that pussy cream
Move it to the right, move your finger to the left
Work it all around til your ass outta breath
I ain't tripping on ya baby, put some dick in your world
Work that clit
Cum girl

Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Work that clit
Cum girl

Bend it on over, lemme see it from the back
Work your thumb in it girl, I love it like that
Freaky ass hoes, lil freaky ass men
Lemme work ya slow, lemme see it going in
Then you pull it out, put your fingers in your mouth
You make a nigga wanna fuck your ass on the couch
While we're still in the club, show your pussy love
Work that clit
Cum girl
Go on and hit the dance floor
Open up wide, lemme show you what's it made for
Uh, like a finger, like a donkey
Lemme see you play, play with your monkey
Damn, cause your ass so chunky
Bring it here, sweaty, cause I love it when it's funky
I'ma put some dick in your world
Work that clit
Cum girl

Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Cum girl, I'm tryna get your pussy wet
Work that, lemme see you drip sweat
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Gon play with it
Work that clit
Cum girl

Work that clit
Cum girl

It has been confirmed...

2009-12-06T20:52:00.004-05:00

that Stalker is truly an asshole! Remember how he told me that he and his brother would move me? The move that is scheduled for two weeks from now? Well, tonight when he came by to get his Wii that I picked up for him, he informed me (quite casually) that he would be out of town that weekend. Bet we can all guess where he will be and with whom he will be. Guess we can't even be friends, because I would never leave a friend hanging like that so close to the big day...

It just amazes me that someone who seemed so kind and giving and positive turned out to be such a cold uncaring soul.

So now I have the pleasure of coming up with money to pay movers a few days before Christmas. Fanfuckingtabulous...

Sick...Again...

2009-12-06T16:41:00.003-05:00

Yesterday went pretty much according to plan. While I was at the football party, my head began to ache though. It just continued to get worse, so I came home earlier than I'd planned. My face was aching and my head felt heavy. Sinus sufferers should recognize this pain as the onset of a sinus infection. I had been texting with Stalker occasionally since our little dinner date Thursday. I told him he could come over last night and help me pack. He somehow ended up at a party of his own, so he was out much later than I was. He still came by. I was in bed, and he just joined me. I do believe he was a little drunk, because he wasn't conscious very long! That was fine. I felt like shit anyway. Unfortunately, I woke up horny this morning and practically forced Stalker to give me some. Again, we messed up the friend vow! Oh well.

Needless to say, I didn't get up in time to make it to the new church. Once Stalker left, I hopped in the shower. I thought I felt fine until I began my search about town for a Wii. Oh...my head! I had to call and cancel my date with the E-Harmony guy. He understood and agreed to get together sometime this week or next weekend.

My aches and pains didn't stop my search for the Wii though! Wal-Mart has a special going on...Wii's are $199 AND you get a $50 Wal-Mart gift card! I trekked through four different Wal-Marts before I finally found one though! Score! I sent Stalker a text to let him know where I finally found one, because he was planning to catch the deal too. I ended up getting his for him...yes, he's gonna pay me back! So now, I'll be seeing him tonight when he picks up his Wii.

Now I feel worse than ever...the Wii is still in the box.

Busy Busy Weekend!

2009-12-05T11:01:00.005-05:00

Thursday night Stalker came over for dinner and a DVD. Things are a little better between us now...less strained and more friendly. We had a nice time, even though his wine cork broke my cork screw! He didn't have a chance to drink his wine because we couldn't get the cork out. Last time he was here, he broke my wine topper/stopper thingy. Luckily, I opened my wine before his Thursday, which means I got tipsy and Stalker didn't! :-) Yay me! No worries...it didn't lead to any sexual activities. We sat closely on the couch with my legs over his lap. That's as wild and crazy as the night got! Oh yeah, Bookstore Boy called while Stalker was here. I hadn't heard from him since the day after he found me at another bookstore. Can we say "ignore", boys and girls?

Last night after work, I had some quality Christmas shopping time with my gay boyfriend. I'll be getting together with all my gay boyfriends before Christmas for dinner and gift exchange. I wasn't really sure what to get two of them, because they are your stereotypically finicky gay men. I'm never quite sure of the borders of tackiness to them! They have these odd collections, and I think I managed to find something fitting for them both.

Today is lunch with a girlfriend and FOOTBALL!!! One of my coworkers is having an SEC Championship party at her house today. You know what that means? Football, alcohol, and food!! We may be hitting the streets after the game.

Tomorrow I'm trying out a new church. I'm not a big fan of organized religion, as folks in the South tend to thump those Bibles a bit too much. I've found a place of worship in my city that welcomes all faiths. I'm checking it out tomorrow. Afterward, I'm meeting up with one of my E-Harmony matches. I'm not sure if he is worthy of a nickname just yet, so I'll hold off on that. Wish me luck!

Oh, and somewhere in all this I have to pack for my move in two weeks!

More Sexy for your Soul!

2009-12-02T21:49:00.002-05:00

Because I've been listening to music more lately, I keep finding songs I want to share. Yes, I know my taste tends to be eclectic. And yes, just about all the songs that appear on my blog are on my iPod! I just got home from the gym and thought I would share some girl power with you! Okay, so the last one isn't a girl...

One More Addiction by Natalie Imbruglia

Natalie Imbruglia HRL One more addiction
Uploaded by portalimbrugliavideos. - See the latest featured music videos.

One More Addiction
First the good news
It's gonna feel very nice
Then the bad news
You gotta pay a heavy price
Rip tide,we slide we ride on a deep forbidden sea
Under we go-so slow
And you're hanging onto me
And I say
Oh oh one more addiction in my world
Oh one more connection to let go
Oh floating down the river
out of sight forever (from my world)
It's the only thing I know how to do
I reject you
But I can't follow through
I'd forget you
Bud you'd end up tappin' on my back door
Somehow I lost myself
In a tunnel long and black
Somewhere,at the end,I pretend
There's a way of turning back
(Chorus)
Take a breath
Let it out
All the things you frown about are meaningless of course,unless you're
doing this for real I guess
I meant to to but
I don't know what
Is in the way and could I say
It's you in bet
I won't forget
Maybe I'm not ready yet
(Chorus)

You Make Me Sick by Pink

You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip

I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it

You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again
You were doin' me sick

He was doin' 8-0 on the freeway
In the 6 double 0, bumpin' Isley
He was gettin' kinda close, kinda touch-ay
'Cuz he had a little too much Hennessey

He told me that he wanna go home
With me up on the hill to my condo
Told me he would keep it all on the low-low
But I told him, "Boo, I don't really know though"

He got closer to me, it started gettin' deep
He had me in a zone
When he started to show me things
I never saw before

Baby, it was smooth but I knew it was game
Hell-of-a-cool but you men are the same
The way he licked his lips and touched my hips
I knew that he was slick

You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
I get too hot when you touch the tip

I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it

You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again
You make me sick

In the 6 now, so hot
Gotta pull all the windows down eyes lead
And I'm thinkin' bout the sheets now
Wonderin' should I really take it there now

He told me he would make it worth it
Again, how many times have I heard this
Kinda funny, but I wasn't even nervous
Well his slick-ass lines was kinda workin'

I felt my knees get weak
His body was callin' me
Just couldn't take the heat
Anyway it was 2 or 3, I had to get off the streets

Baby was cool but I knew it was game
Said, he was too schooled to be screamin' my name
Even though we made the best of it
I still told him this

"You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip"

"I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it"

"You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again
You make me sick"

You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip

I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it

You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again

You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip

I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it

You got me goin' again
Baby, you got me goin' again

You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it
Hot when you touch the tip
I'm feelin' it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin' me crazy
Baby don't you quit

Can't no no no no no
Oh, you make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin' it

Day 'N' Nightby Kid Cudi

Kid Cudi - Day 'N' Nite
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Day and night (what, what)
I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind, mind (what, what)
I look for peace but see I don't attain (what, what)
What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play
Now look at this (what, what)
Madness to magnet keeps attracting me, me (what, what)
I try to run but see I'm not that fast (what, what)
I think I'm first but surely finish last, last

[Chorus:]
Cuz day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

[Kid Cudi:]
Hold the phone (what, what)
The lonely stoner, mr. solo doe low (what, what)
He's on the move can't seem to shake the shade (what, what)
Within his dreams he see's the life he made, made
The pain is deep (what, what)
A silent sleeper you won't hear a peep, peep (what, what)
The girl he wants don't see no one into (what, what)
It seems the feelings that she had are through, through

[Chorus:]
Cuz day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (yeah) (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his(yeah) mind at night (at, at, at night)

[Kid Cudi:]
Slow moe, (what, what)
When the temple slows up and creates that new, new (what, what)
He seems alive though he is feeling blue (what, what)
The sun is shining man he's super cool, cool
The lonely nights (what, what)
They fade away he slips into his white nights (what, what)
He smokes a clip and then he's on the way (what, what)
To free his mind in search of,
To free his mind in search of,
To free his mind in search of,

[Chorus:]
Cuz day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

At, at, at night

Sexy Song of the Week

2009-12-02T15:04:00.003-05:00

Picture by Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock

Sheryl crow & kid rock - picture
Uploaded by Alexander_Band. - See the latest featured music videos.

Livin' my life in a slow hell
Different girl everynight at the hotel
I ain't seen the sunshine in three damn days

Been fuelin' up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord, I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to her

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you, while I'm lyin' next to her

I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they won't tell
But their half hearted smiles tell me
Somethin' just ain't right

I been waitin' on you for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights

I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

I saw you yesterday with an old friend
It was the same old same, "How have you been?"
Since you been gone my world's been dark and gray

You reminded me of brighter days
I hoped you were comin' home to stay
I was headed to church
I was off to drink you away

I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say, ?I want you to come back home?

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say, ?I want you to come back home?

I just called to say, ?I love you, come back home?

Bring Me Some Water by Melissa Etheridge

Bring Me Some Water
Tonight I feel so weak
But all in love is fair
I turn the other cheek
And I feel the slap and the sting of the foul night air
And I know you're only human
And I haven't got talking room
But tonight while I'm making excuses
Some other woman is making love to you

Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see I'm burning alive
Can't you see my baby's got another lover
I don't know how I'm gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see it's out of control
Baby's got my heart and my baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet Devil's got my soul

When will this aching pass
When will this night be through
I want to hear the breaking glass
I only feel the steel of the red hot truth
And I'd do anything to get it out of my mind
I need some insanity that temporary kind
Tell me how will I ever be the same
When I know that woman is whispering your name

Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see I'm burning alive
Can't you see my baby's got another lover
I don't know how I'm gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see it's out of control
Baby's got my heart and my baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet Devil's got my soul

Oh, the Devil's got my soul

Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see I'm burning alive
Can't you see my baby's got another lover
I don't know how I'm gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can't you see it's out of control
Baby's got my heart and my baby's got my mind
But tonight the sweet Devil's got my soul

Why I Fell...

2009-12-01T20:00:00.007-05:00

I've been doing a little self-reflection the last couple days. Suddenly, it hit me! I know why I fell for Stalker so hard and quickly! In order to explain it, I'm gonna have to divulge some personal information that I've never shared on this blog. I try not to tell too much about my life here other than dating incidents and experiences, because, well, it's a dating blog! But here goes...

If you notice I got awfully quiet during the first part of this year after I moved. The best explanation for that hiatus was because Sane wasn't so sane during those months. Mid to late 2008 I began struggling financially. I filed bankruptcy at the beginning of this year and lost my house. Some of that failure can be attributed to my own stupidity while much of it was because of outstanding medical bills and continuing medication costs. No matter the reason, it was a blow to my pride and I fell into a depression. I mean, it hurt to come home to this tiny apartment after living in a spacious home that I worked so hard to pay for. Not to mention, I had gained sooo much weight (due to said medication), I lost all self-esteem. I tried to keep a smile on my face and keep my head up, but it all just took a toll on me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was in a job I hated and that stressed the shit out of me. Said job had also caused the illness with which I was dealing. So basically....over the last couple years, I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into a dark dark depression. I felt like every time things started looking up, I was knocked down even harder. For instance, the day after my bankruptcy was discharged, some juvenile delinquent at my "rewarding" job smashed in the windshield of my car and jumped up and down on the roof of it. He caused close to $2000 worth of damages. I had to pay the $500 deductible, take days off for court (out of my sick time), and never saw a penny of the money he was to pay back. And no, I didn't make the kid angry. I didn't even know the kid! It was random.

Compound all this with a dysfunctional family who can't EVER get along long enough to enjoy a simple holiday, coming home to an empty apartment (well, except my two cats!), and spending my weekends alone, I began to feel so isolated from the world. I didn't go out anymore...I didn't try new things or meet new people. I just became a hermit, really. Actually, the very night that I met Stalker, I almost ended it. Luckily I have a good friend who ended her date to come sit with me and save my life. The last few years (even before 2008) have been so emotionally exhausting, I had forgotten the good, simple, fun parts of life.

Enter Stalker and his chipper, smiling face. He was a positive ray of light in my dark world every time he came around. With him, it was always cup half full, and that appealed to me. I couldn't get enough. I forgot all my worries. He found me physically attractive and couldn't keep his hands off me, which has done wonders for my self-esteem again. I no longer felt ugly, unwanted, and fat. He is active and enjoys getting out and doing fun things, like bowling, putt putt, and horseback riding! I hadn't done all that in....well...never! He became my anti-depressant. He woke me up, slapped me in the face, and said "Why the hell aren't you living life when there is so much to live for??" (Okay, so he didn't ACTUALLY do all that! But he did...) I care about Stalker for so many more reasons than good sex and an occasional laugh. As much as I would love to have Stalker as my very own, I might have to accept that he could have been brought into my life for only one purpose...to save me and make me live again. Hopefully, he will hang around to witness me living life. :-)

Facebook me!

2009-11-30T17:22:00.000-05:00

Hey! I just started a FB page for my blog! You should look up "So Why Are You Single?" and become a fan! Thanks in advance! :-)

Hello, just call me Jacob!

2009-11-29T13:25:00.007-05:00

I went to see New Moon last night, and I feel like Jacob. Used as comfort in the absence of the obsession of the object of my affection. But for some reason, I still care, even though Stalker obviously doesn't feel the same way. Unrequited love...it's a feeling that has been written about in books and portrayed on stage and in movies for years, decades, and centuries.

Friday night, Stalker texted me saying, "How bout you give me a massage?" around 11:00. I told him, "Maybe tomorrow." And he responded with "I guess I'll turn around then." I told him that that was quite presumptuous of him to think he could just pop up on a Friday night. He just said, "Ok I'll just take my drunk butt home then." I again responded with "maybe tomorrow". Saturday morning I sent a "Good morning sunshine!" text around 11:00, to which he responded "Morning" at 2:00 PM. I sent back, "LOL. A little past morning!" And then there was nothing...

Around 4:15, I sent him a text that said, "If you still want that massage, be at my place around 11:30 ;). You're gonna need it after (insert football team name) kicks that (insert Stalker's fave team) ass!" Again no response....

I went to see New Moon at 7:00, and we got out around 9:30. I then sent another text asking if his lack of response meant he wasn't coming. He told me he was watching the game with his family. Um...that didn't answer my question! Then he told me he would let me know soon. Way to keep me hanging! Finally, around midnight, he texted saying he wasn't going to make it. WTF??? Why didn't he just say no from the beginning??

I called him and lit into his ass! I think I've reached my breaking point. I care about him and would love to continue what we started. He clearly is trying to keep the door open, but he isn't willing to walk through it. I think he is afraid to feel something real and powerful, so he put on the brakes. I know he doesn't desire "her" the way he does me. Things shouldn't be so difficult. Stalker told me he wasn't sure if his feelings for me were genuine or just lust. That is why he is pushing me away...so he can see what is best for him. I think it's all bullshit. I'm a firm believer that if you are feeling it, go with it. He admitted he was denying wanting to see me and be with me purposely. Why deny what makes you happy and feel good? Feelings aren't always rational and logical. He said no other woman had gotten to him and confused him this way. I'm sorry, but the way he looks at me isn't lust. Wanting to spend time with someone just to hear their voice and see their face isn't lust. We had moved beyond the sex buddies thing and were spending QUALITY time together. Lust doesn't want quality time. Lust just wants to get off.

For you, Stalker...

My Love by Jill Scott

Jill Scott - My Love [New Video]
Uploaded by Yannicklord. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Yo I'm trippin right?
I heard you got married.
You got married?
That don't really..
It don't really make any sense.
I mean,
it's not like I didn't think you were
seeing other people or whatever
i mean,
i was seeing other people you know what this is
you know what it was
I can't say I really understand though..

Verse 1:
You chose her cuz she's sweet as pie
take what you give even your lies,
but baby are you happy, without me?
she scrubs your back, washes your clothes,
gives you everything that you ask for..
but don't you ever want more? cuz, my love..

chorus: my love is deeper, tighter, sweeter, higher, fire..
didn't u know this? or didn't you notice?
my love is deeper, tighter, sweeter, higher, fire..
didn't u know this? or didn't you notice?

verse 2: mm.
what we had don't need no words
deeper than anything you ever heard
i ain't reachin baby, i know i should be your lady
you say you're happy,
you say you're great,
but you know and i know you really ain't
you need to come be with me
that's the way it's supposed to be..

my love is...
deeper.
sweeter.
ooh oooh ooh
my love. you know know know...
didn't you notice?

cuz all...All I ever do
is think about you baby.
I hold you in my arms, inside my dreams..
And I know what I know, and what I know is
that no matter where you go, you will always think of me, MY LOVE.

(repeat chorus throughout)
ad lib:
you know baby you know
my love is deeper
wider
didn't you notice baby?

deeper
tighter
sweeter
fire babe..

Oh well, I guess I'm off to answer messages from old short men on E-Harmony! :-)

Feed him...he will come (and cum!)

2009-11-26T23:12:00.002-05:00

First, I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all had a better one than I did! Per usual, my family had a big argument that ruined the whole day. I hate that they upset my grandmother. But anyway...this is a dating blog.

Okay, here is a run-down of the last week or so with Stalker. Of course, last week (Tuesday 11/17), he cut off my sex intake. Wednesday night we tried to go to dinner, but I had a killer migraine, and we didn't make it very far. Actually, we argued because he tried to change our plans for that upcoming weekend. So that night was cut short. Thursday night, he came over after his softball game, and I presented him with his birthday gift. He was just excited that it was in a purple gift bag, because it's his favorite color! Funny, the things that entertain us. Inside that bag was a t-shirt for his favorite college football team, the 1st season of True Blood on DVD, and his favorite candy and gum. He then told me that those were the first and only gifts he had gotten for his birthday, with the exception of a bottle of wine when he visited the "ex". Really??? Just a bottle of wine??? Needless to say, he was thrilled and became quite affectionate. He sat right next to me on the couch, rubbing my leg and kissing my cheek. Um...confusing much? He did leave to go home after a couple hours.

Friday night, I surprised him and took him to one of his favorite sushi spots. Because he didn't know where we were going, he arrived at my place carrying three different outfits and asked me to choose. Once I chose the outfit, he stripped down in my living room to change. Really??? Did he have to wear my favorite boxer briefs and SHOW them to me? Not making this platonic thing too easy! Dinner was nice and comfortable. We were going to go for ice cream at the place next door, but the line there was out the door and down the street. We settled for Starbucks instead. Then we headed back to my place for a DVD. Once we got inside and I put my to-go box in the fridge, Stalker grabbed me as I came out of the kitchen and hugged me. He told me I had given him the best birthday ever. As he pulled away from the hug, he rubbed my hips and sides and gave me that "look"...the look I noticed when I realized we had crossed the friends with benefits line. I wasn't sure what to do, so I said, "Well, let's get this movie started!" I sat in my usual spot on the couch, but Stalker did not. He just paced around my apartment. I finally asked him if he was going to sit down. He said, "I guess so." When he did sit, he sat at the other end of the couch on the very edge of the cushion, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs. He looked like he was getting ready to jump up and run! He sat like that for close to an hour. I kept telling him to get comfortable, even joking once saying that I wouldn't attack him if he sat back on the couch. He blamed his position on the pain in his legs from playing softball the previous two nights. I'm still not sure if he just didn't trust me or didn't trust himself. Again, the night ended with us talking/arguing about the tension, although there really was none until we got to the couch. He told me that he realized he shouldn't have been so affectionate the night before if we were trying to keep it friendly. He left around midnight.

Monday night rolls around, and I had plans to meet a girlfriend out for bowling. Since Friday night's incident I had only heard from Stalker a couple times via text. I told him that we would be bowling and let him know he was welcome to join us. Honestly, I thought he would bow out, but he popped up at the bowling alley and closed it down with us. He had never met this friend of mine before, and yet he conversed with her more than he did with me! She even noted the tension between us. He didn't look me in the eye, and he definitely wasn't his usual chipper self. After we all went our separate ways, I called him to address the issue. I mean, I'm willing to be friends, but it shouldn't be so strained. He claimed he didn't realize he had gone so far in the opposite direction of our usual "couple-y" behavior but understood where I was coming from when I gave him examples of his unusual behavior.

Tuesday, in an attempt to mend our strained friendship, I invited him to come over for dinner after work. All the food was cooked and ready for consumption when he arrived. We even cracked open a bottle of wine, and things were going smoothly. We were enjoying one another's company again! After dinner, I made my way to my spot on the couch with my wine glass in hand. He followed me with his and the bottle of wine. He sat right next to me...like closer than ever! Again...confused! He put his arm around my shoulders, thanked me for dinner, pulled me to him, and kissed me! What tha???? Make up your mind already!! I didn't make any comments. We were watching some of the first season of True Blood (I've never seen the 1st few episodes), and Stalker began rubbing his stomach...or I thought that was what he was rubbing! I asked if he was okay, and he said, "I have drunk penis". Um...what? He then explained that alcohol makes him hard. I just said, "And here I thought I made you hard." He laughed and told me, "Yeah, it's your toes in the candlelight." Then the conversation turned to the myth that alcohol makes it soft. Of course, under the influence of wine and my extreme horniness, I just had to ask if I could touch it. He told me yes, to my surprise. And that, my friends, is how we had a replay of our last sexual encounter on the couch. As I straddled him, he whined softly and feebly, "But we're not supposed to..." Neither of us stopped.

Both of us had other plans later in the night, so he left soon after, giving me a hug and a kiss. I felt like shit for doing it, even though I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know this will just push him further away.

Sexy Song of the Week #2 (Deluxe Edition)

2009-11-25T23:46:00.003-05:00

While making the drive to my grandmother's for Thanksgiving today, I had my iPod on shuffle. I found a couple more sexy songs (from back in the day) that I wanted to share.

To Make You Feel My Love by Garth Brooks

To Make You Feel My Love - Garth Brooks

When the rain's blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
So no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on a rolling sea
And down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothin' like me yet

There ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

Give Love a Try by Tyrese

Give Love A Try - Tyrese

Now you know you can't deny
what you're feeling inside
you want me
and before you left my sight
it was running through my mind
I want you

you know what you want
and I know what you need
it's me it's me babe
you felt it in your heart
and I knew it right from the start
it's love

Give love a try
please give give love a try
give love a try
please give give love a try

Just forget about the past
give me your loving real fast
lets do this
if you put in your mind
give my loving just one try
I'll love you

You know what you want
I know what you need
it's me
give love a try

Give love a try
please give give love a try
give love a try
please give give love a try Give love a try
please give give love a try
give love a try
please give give love a try

And you say no no no no
but I say yeah yeah yeah yeah
and you say no no no no
but I say yeah yeah yeah yeah

[Chorus Fade out..]

Twisted by Keith Sweat

Twisted - Keith Sweat

Oh yeah baby
You got to make your mind up
Yeah, Kut Klose, help me out

[1]-You know you are my lover
You got me twisted over you
I know i got what you need
So what you wanna do

Baby, baby I know
Baby I love you so
But you don't feel like I do
Tell me what can I do

[2]-But I gotta be strong
Did me wrong
When I thought we were really down
So you say you want me
Make up your mind
Cuz I'm not gonna be here for long

[Repeat 1]
Baby, baby in time
Baby I know you'll find
That what you needed was here
Think about it my dear

[Repeat 2]

[Repeat 1]

Breaking up now
You got me twisted
Thinking about the way things used to be
When it was you and me girl I was free
See you had my heart from the start
Like Cupid and I was just down right foolish and stupid
But now I know the reason for the pain and the headaches
You left me all alone now I can't even concentrate
I guess I'll wait for the day until you come back
Because my heart is where your love is at
You got me twisted

[Repeat 1 (2x)]

Sexy Song of the Week

2009-11-25T02:01:00.001-05:00

Bad Things by Jace Everett

The True Blood fans out there should recognize this one!

Free of Blog-Blockers

2009-11-24T02:16:00.006-05:00

Since I was so suddenly interrupted by Bookstore Boy while writing my last blog, I'm adding another to continue my original thoughts.

What was I saying? Oh, I can't imagine sex with anyone else except Stalker. I said it eleven hours ago, and I still believe it! I'm not going to get into the details right this moment, but I have spent four evenings with Stalker since his return from the "ex's" state. None of those evenings have resulted in a slumber party or any sexual fun. Actually, most of those times have been quite strained and tense. I'm not really sure what's going on anymore. I don't know if he has lost all feelings for me or if he is going out of his way to resist temptation. I do know that I still want him...maybe more than ever. It pains me to be with him and not know what he is thinking or feeling. But I don't want to lose him from my life either, even if as just a friend. Stalker hurt his knee last week, playing softball. He was still in pain tonight when he joined me and a girlfriend for bowling. I just wanted to reach out and hold him. I know this makes no sense. Not much has lately. I just know that I feel so much more for him than even I thought I did. I now realize that Stalker had awakened parts of me that I thought had died or at least had become numb. I want to nurture him, to cook (what tha???) for him, and to be with him all the time. The feeling is so strong it almost creeps me out!

E-Harmony update: It sucks! Most of my matches don't fall into my age and/or height requirements. What's up with all the old short men?? Yeah, they need love too, but I can't reach down and give it to them!

Today just after my girlfriend and I got settled into our little spot at a different bookstore, Bookstore Boy showed up and made himself at home. Again, he blog-blocked me! And he just wouldn't go away. At one point when my friend excused herself to go to the restroom, he grabbed my thigh and told me he wants to see me again...alone. Ewww...creepy!

Can't Get Away!

2009-11-23T15:20:00.002-05:00

It's been a week and a half, and I miss Stalker's caress, kiss, the weight of his body on mine, and the thrills and chills I felt as he would grind slowly and deeply inside me. I may go out with other people, but I honestly can't imagine having sex with anyone else. Stalker has set the bar, and that bar is high, my friends!

Oh damn, Bookstore Boy is here! And I'm even in a different bookstore!!

Intervention

2009-11-18T14:08:00.003-05:00

Stalker and I spoke again last night. He has cut me off from my addicktion. No more sex. He said he needs to clear his mind and figure out what he wants. That's pretty much all the conversation boils down to. He isn't back together with his "ex". He isn't having sex with either of us (so he says). He just wants to step away from the physical and clear the cloudiness in his head. So yeah...still no answers and now no sex...

Sexy Song of the Week

2009-11-17T20:19:00.001-05:00

I Love You by Sarah McLachlan

I have a smile
stretched from ear to ear
to see you walking down the road

We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
the world around us disappears

it`s Just you and me
on my island of hope
a breath between us could be miles
Let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek

Oh but every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

And I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the words to say I need you so

Oh but every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

And I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for i cannot find the words to say i need you so

Happy Birthday Stalker

2009-11-15T21:30:00.007-05:00

Sigh. So this was the dreaded weekend. Stalker's birthday weekend with the "ex". He is still with her. I've heard nothing from him since Thursday night when he sent me a text to let me know he made it there safely. Wow! Yeah, so now all I can think about every night is him wrapped around her instead of me. I didn't realize how difficult this weekend would be. I sent him a text earlier today saying happy birthday, and of course, I got no response. Sigh.

For those of you wondering how the rest of our talk went on Tuesday night, here goes. He came over to spend the night. The talk took place as we were lying in bed. I again told him that I didn't want him to go. He explained that this weekend was about he and the "ex" deciding what they were going to do. The conversation then moved to his feelings about me. I asked him when he realized he felt for me as more than a friend. He said it was when my grandfather died. He said he noticed that he constantly worried about how I was feeling and how I was handling it. He knew then that he had crossed the friend line, because he just wanted to comfort me. He went on to describe how being with me was like a "breath of fresh air" and that he didn't know he could feel this way about someone else. It confused him, because he thought he was supposed to be with "her". He knew that he crossed the line when he wanted to see me all the time, if only for a few minutes. So he knew before I did really! I came right out and asked Stalker if he really wants a relationship with his "ex". His response? "I don't know." Uh duh! Shouldn't that be a clue??? He then said that he needs to talk to her about it this weekend. I then asked if he wanted what was going on between me and him to end, and he told me no. Again....duh! Next I asked what will happen to us if he gets back together with her. He said, "I guess we will have to go back to being friends." I said, "Is that what you want? Could you do that?" He said, "It would suck, but it's what we would have to do if I'm in a committed relationship." Um...wow!! All I could say is "Do you even hear yourself? You practically admitted you don't want the relationship!" We talked a little more, but the conversation basically went in circles with no real answers. He doesn't know what he wants. He said he just wants everybody to be happy. Um...buddy...someone is going to be unhappy in the end. That's the ugly part of a love triangle. To make matters worse, Stalker's car wouldn't start on Wednesday morning, so I had to take him to work, making me extremely late to my job! His dad brought him over to get his car during his lunch. I still wonder what he told his dad about where he spent the night before.

Since I had the sinking feeling that I was going to be the unhappy one, I decided to make his last sexual experience with me one he would never forget. Stalker came by my place after work on Wednesday evening. I met him at the door in a sexy black and green nightie with no panties. I had the candlelight and LOTR playing on the TV. I pulled him into my apartment and undressed him while I let my lips and tongue wonder all over his body. I led him to the couch, sat him down, got on my knees and gave him a BJ he will never forget. Just before he was about to cum, I straddled him and rode him until he was about to explode. He told me that was his favorite "nookie time" with me ever. This is the first and only time we neglected to use a condom and he didn't pull out. Let's pray that my BC pill really does work! I've never tested it!

After we laid around in the after-orgasm glow, it was back to reality. Stalker had to meet "her" mother to get some things to take to "her" for her new apartment. Isn't that nice of him to travel all that way to take "her" things for his birthday weekend? I wonder if "her" mother could smell me on him...

Before you all start with the comments, yes I know you may think I disrespected myself, but I wanted to enjoy Stalker one last time before this weekend. I do have hopes that he comes back and wants to try things with me, but I am realistic...as sad as that makes me.

In other news...when I went out with some girlfriends last weekend, I met a new guy. We will call him Mr. International. He is obviously a foreigner to this country. He seemed like a nice guy, and we talked for quite a while. I gave him my number. I figured if nothing else, he may be a good distraction from Stalker, as you all know I've been looking. On Wednesday just when I thought I wouldn't hear from him, I received a text asking me if he could call me after 7:00 when he got home. I told him sure and I was looking forward to talking to him. Uh...he called at 10:45. And yeah, I was already asleep. Really not a good time for a first conversation when you are a school teacher! The next day I texted him to let him know I was already asleep. So....he tried again on Thursday night....at 10:00!! Really??? Not much better. Again, I was already asleep. You would think he would catch on, right? So Friday, he called at 12:45 in the afternoon. Hello???? I'm a teacher!!! Can't chat during class! By now, I was already irritated. When I listened to his voicemail, he suggested we get together on Saturday. Unfortunately, I was headed out of town to visit my BFF. I sent him a text to let him know I would be out of town for the weekend. So sometime Friday night I guess he thought it would be a good idea to call again. He left a voicemail saying that he hopes I like talking on the phone. He also said it's okay that I went out of town. I'm not real sure what to think of that statement, as he said it like I had asked his permission! So far Mr. International is off to a rocky start.

Sexy Song of the Week

2009-11-11T11:35:00.002-05:00

Given the recent comments on my blog from people who can't seem to understand the way things have developed between me and Stalker, I decided to dedicate today's Sexy Song of the Week to songs written about these very situations. It's apparently not uncommon to have someone you care about, and yet fall for someone else by surprise.

You Make Me Wanna by Usher

Usher - You Make Me Wanna
Uploaded by sweetgapeach. - See the latest featured music videos.

This is what you do
This is what you do
This is what you do
This is what you do

Chorus:

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with to
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about a ring and all the things that come along with
You make me
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about her and all the things that come along with
Make me
You make me

Verse 1:

Before anything became between us
You were like my best friend
The one I used to run and talk to
When me and my girl was having problems
You used to say it would be okay
Suggest little nice things I should do
And when I go home at night and lay my head down
All I seem to think about was you
And how you make me wanna

Chorus:

leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about a ring and all the things that come along with
You make me
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about her and all the things that come along with
Make me
You make me

Verse 2:

Now what's bad is you're the one that hooked us up
Knowing it should have been you
And what's sad is that I love her but I'm falling for you
What should I do
Should I tell my baby bye-bye
Should I do exactly what I feel inside
Cause I, I don't wanna go, don't need to stay
But I really need to get it together

Chorus:

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationship with you (see what you do?)
This is what you do
Think about a ring and all the things that come along with
You make me (you make me)
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with (oh baby)
Start a new relationship with you (this is what you do)
This is what you do (ehhh)
Think about her and all the things that come along with
Make me
You make me

Verse 3:

At this point the situation's out of control
I never meant to hurt her
But I gotta let her go
And she may not understand it
Why all of this is going on
I tried, I tried to fight
But the feeling's just too strong

you make me
you make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna
You make me wanna

Chorus x2:

leave the one I'm with (see what you do?)
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about a ring and all the things that come along with
You make me
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with (oh baby)
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do
Think about her and all the things that come along with
Make me
You make me

Run to You by Bryan Adams

She says her love for me could never die
But that'd change if she ever found out about you and I

Oh - but her love is cold
Would it hurt her if she didn't know, cause...

When it gets too much
I need to feel your touch

I’m gonna run to you
I’m gonna run to you
Cause when the feelings right I'm gonna run all night
I’m gonna run to you

She's got a heart of gold she'd never let me down
But you're the woman that always turns me on
You keep me coming round

I know her love is true
But it's so damn easy making love to you

I got my mind made up
I need to feel your touch

I’m gonna run to you
Yeah - I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feeling right I'm gonna stay all night

I’m gonna run to you
Yeah - I'm gonna run to you
Oh when the feeling right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you

By the way, Stalker and I did talk a little more last night, but I'll write more on that later.

Bowling Anyone?

2009-11-09T18:44:00.005-05:00

After that wonderful Thursday night with Stalker, we got back into our text routine during the work day. It continued into Friday evening, and then he went silent until Saturday morning. He sent a text telling me that he fell out at 9ish Friday night and slept until about 11:00 on Saturday morning. This isn't surprising after the week he had. He then told me to have a good weekend. Um...huh?? I replied that I was hoping he'd be a part of my weekend, to which he said that it would be a family weekend since he would be out of town the next weekend (visiting "her" for his birthday). This is the text convo from there:

Me: I don't want you to go
Stalker: :(
Me: I need to talk to you
Stalker: K. Bout what?
Me: What do you think?
Stalker: Its too early for me to think...
Me: Do you even remember our talk on Thursday morning?
Stalker: I do.
Me: And what are your thoughts on it?
Stalker: I honestly don't know
Me: Well you acted like you wanted to move forward Thursday night. I think you should give me...give US a chance.
Stalker: I have to see how next weekend plays out
Me: Then maybe you should give me some time too. I know you feel for me.
Stalker: Yeah I do care about you. But I have to see what she is thinking
Me: So basically I get 2nd prize if she doesn't want you?
Stalker: I dunno.
Me: It would be great if we could actually talk in person.
Stalker: K. Tomorrow may be cool.
Me: You are making a huge mistake.
Stalker: :(
Me: I think you really do know it. And that's the shit of it all. Have you/are you going to tell her about me?
Stalker: Probably not

From this point on, my inner psycho just came out. I called him to try to explain that I would like to do something for his birthday before he left for the weekend. Stalker's response? "Can't we do it after I come back in town?" My anxiety level rose into over-drive! I panicked and said, "There may not be an after next weekend!" He was at his niece's soccer game, and he said he would call me later. I told him I wouldn't be home, because I had plans to go out. He then said he would text me instead. Guess what??? No call...no text all day Saturday.

Finally on Sunday he contacted me via text. I was pretty short in my responses. We did decide that he would come over after his family activities later in the evening. A couple hours later, Stalker texted me to say he was probably going to the gym in a little while (we belong to the same gym). When I asked what happened to family time, he told me his dad was going with him. I'm still not quite sure why he felt the need to check in with me like that, so all I said was "Y'all have fun!"

Fast forward a couple more hours, he sent a text telling me his sister was in the emergency room again (She has been experiencing severe migraines), and he would keep me updated. I suggested that we reschedule Monday evening, but then we realized both of us had prior commitments. So we finally decided on Tuesday evening right after work.

Just as I was about to settle in for a date with my DVR on Sunday evening, I receive a text from Stalker:

"Me and my bro gonna go bowling at (Stalker's local bowling alley). Wanna go?

Huh? I just called him, because all this texting was getting confusing! Last word I had was that he was on the way to the ER. He informed that his sister told him not to come, so he and his brother decided to go on with the original family plans to bowl. I reminded him that my car was messed up (turns out it was just the battery) and I didn't want to drive anywhere until I got it checked out. Stalker offered to go out of his way to pick me up.

So yeah, I went bowling with Stalker and his brother last night. We had a pretty good time. It was kinda strange hanging with Stalker and someone else. Every time we've done anything together, it was always just the two of us. It was difficult not to smack him on the ass or get super flirty with him. His brother was a pretty nice guy. He is much more quiet than Stalker and less outgoing. At one point, Stalker's brother asked me if I work with Stalker. I'm not real sure what Stalker had/hadn't told him about me. I just told him that Stalker and I met at a party a while back and became fast friends. What?? It wasn't a lie! The night ended with a hug from Stalker when he and his brother dropped me off at my place.

"The Talk" Follow-up

2009-11-07T17:35:00.003-05:00

Thursday after "the talk" I didn't hear too much from Stalker. We didn't engage in our usual text convo during the work day. We did exchange a couple texts trying to decide what we were doing for dinner. So when I was driving home, I oh-so-surprised to receive this:

k. I stay the night tonight. maybe wine and something quick and easy after softball game.

I really thought he would pull away to let all my feelings and other babble marinate and to think on things. So I picked up a rotisserie chicken and some sides from the local grocery along with some wine. The side dishes had just been completed when Stalker arrived at my place in softball uniform, laden with his over-night necessities. He didn't have a hand free to hug me, so instead he kissed me hello. Well, that was different! Once settled, we made our plates, put in a DVD and got cozy on the couch. After eating, Stalker took a quick shower. We were watching LOTR, and he has seen it a dozen times. Once he returned to the couch, he took my feet in his lap and commenced to rubbing. The wine went to my head and I couldn't make it through the movie, so we decided to hit the sheets. We discussed my upcoming move next month, as we were getting ready for bed. He told me that there was no need to hire movers, and that he and his brother would do it if I rented the truck. Again, I was caught by surprise! Not only did he commit to doing something for me, but I also get to meet a family member!? I thought, "Wow! Now we're getting somewhere!"

I wasn't too tired for some sensual nookie! Again, it was amazing and left us both speechless. We fell asleep entwined and woke the same way when the alarm went off. Of course, I had to have more before work. It's too good, and I'm enjoying it while I have it. He left for work before I did, as he was going by Verizon to get his anticipated Droid phone. He assured me that I would receive the very first text from his fantasy phone. He again kissed and hugged me goodbye and was on his way.

"The Talk"

2009-11-05T12:05:00.004-05:00

I'm proud to report that I had it with Stalker. Of course, my timing wasn't the best. I decided to do it first thing in the morning while he and I both were still half asleep. I knew I would say something when I couldn't hold it in any longer.

You see, I was beginning to get irritated and snippy with Stalker about stuff that doesn't usually phase me at all. I knew then that the unspoken line-crossing was getting to me. We were discussing our plan to do dinner tonight after his softball game, and I asked if he would be staying over at my place again tonight. He said, "We'll see." For some reason that sent me through the roof! I told him that it made me feel disrespected when he made me wait for him or wouldn't commit to plans, only to show up late at my place because he "missed me". It is disrespectful of my time. Stalker has a committment problem...he can't commit to plans in advance! Usually I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of woman, so normally this isn't an issue with me unless it's something important. When I realized how irritable I was becoming with the "little things", I knew it was time to speak up.

I basically said the same things to him that I said in the
Dear Stalker letter, although probably not quite as smoothly. He did agree that we have crossed the friend line. He also said that it scares him that it happened so fast and unexpectedly. I told him that I didn't expect him to actually define what we are at this moment, but I felt it needed to be addressed. I also made it clear that I would like to continue this and see what happens. Yeah, I really did most of the talking. By this time, we were both running late for work. He gave me a hug and a kiss goodbye and said he would see me for dinner tonight. I'm sure this will be continued at some point...

Happy Hump Day....early!

2009-11-03T18:32:00.002-05:00

Since I'm not sure I'll be able to post tomorrow, I thought I'd go ahead and give you the Sexy Song of the Week now! Enjoy!

Addicted by Saving Abel

ADDICTED By Saving Abel
Uploaded by dannik11. - See the latest featured music videos.

I’m so addicted to all the things you do
When you’re going down on me in between the sheets
All the sounds you make with every breath you take
It’s not like anything when you’re loving me

Oh girl lets take it slow
So as for you well you know where to go
I want to take my love and hate you till the end

It’s not like you to turn away
From all the bullshit i cant take
It’s not like me to walk away

I’m so addicted too all the things
You do when you’re going down on me
In between the sheets
all the sounds you make
with every breathe you take
It’s not like anything
when you’re loving me
Yeach

I know it was getting rough
all the times we spend
when we try to make
this love something better than
just making love again

Its not like you to turn away
all the bullshit I cant take
just when I think I can walk away,

I’m so addicted to all the things
you do when you’re going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make
with every breathe
It’s not like anything

I’m so addicted to the things you do
when you’re going down on me
all the sounds you make with every breath you take
It’s not like anything when you’re loving me
yeach
when you’re loving me

I can not make it through
all the things you do
theres just got to be more than you and me

I’m so addicted too all the things you do
when you’re going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make with every breath you take
It’s not like anything
It’s not like anything

I’m so addicted too
all the things you do
when you’re going down on me

All the sounds you make with every breath
you take its not like anything
I’m so addicted to you
addicted to you

Distractions

2009-11-03T17:33:00.005-05:00

I've decided that I need a distraction. A distraction from Stalker. I care about him, but I am realistic...it's not real likely that his "situation" will end anytime soon. So needless to say, it would be a safety-net for my feelings if there was someone else hanging around. I thought Bookstore Boy would be a possibility, but I never heard from him again after I called him a homophob! I've been reading what you all have said. And yes, it is unfair that he has his "ex" and I have no one to fall back on. At the time I met Stalker though, I was still hanging on to MatchMan. I've decided to join E-harmony.

I initially created my profile on there because of Stalker. We thought it would be fun if their personality matching expertise would match us up. We weren't matched. But I kept getting emails galore from the website. I decided to give it a try on the same day that Stalker was out of state. So far, it's a whole lotta uninteresting. I'm sorry...I can't vibe with just anyone. This is why Stalker is so unusual.

Ex-Coworker keeps texting and asking when he can see me. Again, he is a nice guy...not as bright as I prefer and we can get along only in short spurts of time. I'm wondering if it's even worth trying to plan some time together.

Monday...yay!

2009-11-02T15:25:00.002-05:00

I really don't have much to say, but I did want to post. This past weekend was full of drunken antics, none involving Stalker or any other man for that matter. It was a full on girls weekend, and a good one at that!

I did hear from Stalker via text throughout the day on Saturday. Then Sunday came....and nothing. I texted him Sunday night and asked, "Are you still alive?", as it's unusual not to hear from him at some point during the day. He responded an hour and a half later with "just leaving (insert name of state where 'ex' now lives)". Interesting...I had no clue he was taking a trip this weekend. The cards will fall where they will...

Dear Stalker

2009-10-31T09:33:00.007-04:00

Dear Stalker,

Let me start by saying that Thursday night (and Friday morning :D) was fan-fucking-tastic! I only wish that we could have more nights like that. Don’t get me wrong; I love every moment we have together. I haven’t felt this kind of chemistry and spark with any man in such a long time. And yes, you are the nicest man I know (even though I laughed it off when you said it), as bittersweet as that is!

That being said, I wish things were different. I wish there was no “situation” and that we were free to let develop whatever it is that is clearly developing between us. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case.

I know this began as a friends-with-benefits kinda thing, and I have no right to demand anything more from you. I won’t. There are some things that I would like you to know though as you make decisions in your “situation”.

1. I care about you. I know I’ve told you this before, so this isn’t news to you. And I know you also care about me, no matter what your “situation” may be. I can tell by your actions, your tenderness, the amount of time you spend with me (without sex), and the look in your eyes when you look at me.
2. I would like to be a part of your life, not a secret you keep from friends and family.
3. I love how you check on me every few hours when you know I don’t feel well and how you worry about if/what I ate that day.
4. I love how unselfish you are when it comes to “nookie time”. That “nookie time” is incredible, and I know you think so too.
5. It drives me crazy to know I take a backseat in your life whenever “she” comes around. I don’t like not hearing from you and knowing that you are with “her”. I dread your birthday and Thanksgiving, because I know you have plans with “her”.
6. Ugh. I think I want to be “her”, no matter how I try to deny it.

Again, I know I can demand nothing of you given the current “situation”. But that won’t stop me from acknowledging that we have crossed a line I don’t think either of us intended to cross. I’m enjoying this line-crossing and would like for it to continue.

Love,
SaneAndSingle

P.S. I've also told you my opinion about your situation. I've told that, deep down, you know it won't work. I still hold that same opinion, regardless of any non-friendship feelings I may now have for you.

Sexy Song of the Week

2009-10-28T15:04:00.006-04:00

Today I'm featuring remakes of sexy/romantic songs.

I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner

Foreigner - I Want To Know What Love Is
Uploaded by manon42. - See the latest featured music videos.

The remake by Mariah Carey:

Mariah Carey - I Want To Know What Love Is (new 2009)
Uploaded by ChaOko_01. - See the latest featured music videos.

Lyrics:
I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older
Aaaah woah-ah-aah

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
And through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
Aaaah woah-oh-ooh

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me, oooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh oooh
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Let's talk about love
(I wanna know what love is) the love that you feel inside
(I want you to show me) I'm feeling so much love
(I wanna feel what love is) no, you just cannot hide
(I know you can show me) yeah, woah-oh-ooh
I wanna know what love is, let's talk about love
(I want you to show me) I wanna feel it too
(I wanna feel what love is) I wanna feel it too
And I know, and I know, I know you can show me
Show me what is real, woah (woah), yeah I know
(I wanna know what love is) hey I wanna know what love
(I want you to show me), I wanna know, I wanna know, want know
(I wanna feel what love is), hey I wanna feel, love
I know you can show me, yeah

Terence Trent D'Arby's Sign Your Name

Terence Trent D'Arby - Sign Your Name
Uploaded by Jazzi801. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

And damnit...Kevin Lyttle also made this song. Unfortunately, I can't find it anywhere that I can embed it here.

Lyrics:fortunately you've got someone who relies on you
we started out as friends
but the thought of you just caves me in
the symptoms are so deep
it's so much too late to turn away
we started out as friends
sign your name across my heart
i want you to be my baby
sign your name across my heart
i want you to be my lady
time i'm sure will bring
disappointments in so many things
it seems to be the way
when your gambling cards on love you olay
i'd rather be in hell with you baby
then in cool heaven, it seems to be the way
sign your name across my heart
i want you to be my baby
sign your name across my heart
i want you to be my lady
birds never look into the sun
before the day is gone
but ohthe light shines bright
in a peacefull day,stranger blue leave us alone
we don't want to deal with you
we'll shed our stains showering
in the room that makes the rain
all alone with you,makes the butterflies in me arise
slowly we make love,and the earth rotates on our dictates
slowly we make love...............
sign your name across my heart......

Post-Drunk Text Update

2009-10-26T21:09:00.002-04:00

After basically humiliating myself Saturday night with an assault on Stalker via text message, he still wanted to see me on Sunday! Yeah, I was surprised too! When he finally contacted me, I suggested sushi. It's his favorite...not so much mine. The least I could do is treat him to a meal he would enjoy after all that drunk-texting.

Once he got to my place, we drove up to one of his sushi spots, only to decide we were going to have Five Guys burgers instead. If there's a Five Guys near your hometown, do check it out! It is greasy and fattening...you know...GOOD SHIT! After we gorged ourselves on sloppy burgers and fries, we topped it off with Rita's custard and Italian Ice. Also good shit...check it out! So we went back to my place, about five pounds heavier. The original plan included miniature golf, but I had on my gold stripper heels and poor Stalker has a little cold. We decided, since I had Blockbuster DVD's neither of us had seen, to veg on the couch with the wine we never drank last weekend. It was a nice, relaxing afternoon/evening. I fed Stalker Theraflu, so he was pretty out of it early on.

I knew Stalker had plans this evening for some boy fantasy draft something another, so I was shocked when I received a text from Stalker telling me he was in my area this evening. I was already at the bookstore and let him know this. Of course, he just had to come by to see what I wore today. Silly Stalker...

All in all, nothing has changed with Stalker. My texts didn't seem to phase him too much. He is still calling and sending texts. He was just as attentive, complimentary, affectionate, and cuddly as usual.